Way of Life, in a Way
by Mr. Light Chicken Bulbs
Summary: Read newest chapter for update, courtesy of Vegeta, Goku, and others. "The Way of the Warriors" will be up soon! This is random adventures of the DBZ characters. Every chapter is a different story, enjoy their random awesomeness!
1. An Unforgetable Day

Time to start my rewrite of Way of Life, in a Way… I read the first few chapters and noticed that they were short and sort of meh, so now I present the enhanced first chapter! Enjoy!

Entire story disclaimer: I own only OCs and made up places.

* * *

**An Unforgettable Day**

It was a beautiful morning. The birds were singing, and Vegeta had not woken up yet. He had the most wonderful dream, in it the birds were singing, and Vegeta had not woken up yet. He then woke up and set them aflame with a powerful flamethrower, laughing while watching-

Trunks woke him up with a kick to the back of the head. "Er...dad, you do know what day it is?" Trunks said.

"Uh, let's see?" Vegeta said drowsily. "How about, THE DAY MY SON WOKE ME UP WHEN I TRY TO SLEEP EARLY IN THE MORNING!" Vegeta threw the blankets over himself.

Trunks rolled his eyes. "Oblivious," Trunks muttered under his breath.

Vegeta looked at him. "What was that?"

"Nothing," Trunks said, looking at the ceiling fan rotate. Vegeta, meanwhile, looked at the singing birds, considering making his dream a reality.

Meanwhile, Trunks continued to watch the fan, mesmerized by the turning. It was rotating slightly fast, a majestic sight. It was things like these that made him ponder the meaning of life, why they were the dominant species of the planet. In space, they were merely a small spec, what was out there? This fan… it had the answers, and he continued to stare in awe. He began to get dizzy watching it. Trunks took a step forwards and stepped on one of his father's slippers. Trunks flailed his arms out and smacked a lamp which fell and smashed on Vegeta's head. Vegeta fell out of the bed and hit his head on the bedside table. He was out cold for several minutes, muttering about strange things Trunks didn't know about at the moment.

When Vegeta woke up the world was spinning. He was as confused as Goku in a maze the size of Vegeta's bathtub.

Vegeta sat up. His vision was so blurred that some could have mistaken him for a drunk. They would not be far off, he had had a lot of alcohol last night.

He looked at Trunks. Vegeta staggered up. "How do you feel?" Trunks asked.

"Why are you asking me that, for I am King of Paraguay!" Vegeta said sloppily.

Trunks raised an eyebrow at this. "Riiiiiiiiight."

"DO NOT SPEAK TO YOUR KING IN THAT MANNER! I COMMAND IT!"

"Oh really? Well my lord, could you tell me where Paraguay is located?"

Vegeta blinked in response. He glanced nervously to both sides before pointing behind Trunks. "Look, it's Solid Snake!"

"Hey, keep me out of this!" Snake snapped. Vegeta grabbed a fire extinguisher that he kept beside his bed at all times, next to his flamethrower, and sprayed Trunks before leaping out the window, his pants catching on a loose nail that seemed to serve no purpose other than to further the plot.

Trunks spat out the substance. He went over to the window and saw Vegeta's pants dangling on the window. "On crap!" Trunks put his head in his hands before remembering something. "What are you doing in here?"

"Looting," Snake said before picking up Vegeta's piano and jumping out another window.

Vegeta had stolen a bed sheet for a cape and a crown from two stores and was prancing around in his boxers speaking the language that he thought they spoke in Paraguay: Russian. Do not ask how he knew Russian, seriously. Please don't make me answer that… People laughed and took pictures of the crazy man, until he began firing blasts of energy at the people and eating the cameras with a spork.

It was rather easy to find Vegeta. Follow the reign of terror, and, scarily enough, the tank tracks. What he found was not quite what Trunks had expected.

Vegeta had a sword and a machine gun. They were completely different weapons, and still are different. He had attached a throne to the top of a tank and tied strings to all of his toes, which went inside, to control it. Vegeta was shooting at the sky, claiming he was extending his empire. Trunks walked up to him, and Vegeta obviously heard. "You again? I thought I killed you!" Vegeta said.

"How is spraying with a fire extinguisher in the same category as death?" Trunks asked. Vegeta scoffed at this, claiming he had no time to answer such a simple question.

"YOU MUST DIE!" Vegeta turned the tank and fired at Trunks who ducked under the shell and gradually approached. Due to only having one shell, which exploded into ketchup, the tank could no longer fight. "On second thought, you aren't worth my time." Vegeta turned the tank and began to flee slowly. Trunks walked beside it.

"This isn't much of a chase," Trunks commented.

"You may think you have won, but BEHOLD!" Vegeta shifted the tank to the next gear. It moved slightly faster, and Trunks kept up.

"This isn't working you know."

"Beg all you want, it changes nothing! AHAHAHAHAAAA!" Trunks jammed a twig in the treads making the tank melt.

"That's an interesting effect…"

Vegeta jumped off the tank and faced Trunks. "Very well, I shall duel you!"

"When did I- Never mind, why not?"

Vegeta began running at Trunks but tripped on his "cape". "Stupid cape," Vegeta said, taking it off and throwing it at Trunks. Trunks blasted a hole through it. "Oh yeah, I forgot about that. DIE!"

"NO!" But it was too late. Vegeta shot a beam which Trunks ducked under and it hit a building. The building caught on fire and five seconds later turned to dust. "What the- I don't think I even care anymore."

Vegeta began his assault on Trunks who sidestepped the barrage of energy. He turned to see the entire city destroyed as a result of Vegeta's blind shots… which he was still doing.

"The Para…Parawhatever win again! Next stop, San Francisco!" Vegeta said proudly, still firing, before Trunks smacked his skull with a boulder.

Trunks dragged him back to their house, ignoring Snake as he took the refrigerator, and put him on his own bed. It wasn't long before the Saiyan Prince awoke. "Dammit, my head… What happened?"

"Well, you hit your head making you think you were the King of Paraguay, and went through the city in your underwear wearing a crown, killed many, hijacked a tank that shot ketchup missiles, then you blew everything up."

"Oh well, what's done is done." Vegeta got up and began to brush his teeth. Trunks blinked.

"You do know what day it is, right?"

"Nope, care to enlighten me?"

"It's your anniversary."

Vegeta laughed. "Silly rabbit, my anniversary's in March!"

"It is March…"

"HAHAHAHAHAHA AHAHAHAHA HA AHA HAHA HAAAAA… Someone kill me."


	2. The Contest

**The Contest**

It was a very hot, mid-summer day. Bugs were bursting into flames, fires were sweating from the heat, and Trunks was relaxing in their bathroom Jacuzzi. Vegeta walked in and began to piss, completely ignoring the fact that his son was present. "Dad, what the hell?!"

"Shut up, I need to piss like a race horse," Vegeta snapped.

"That- What is that supposed to mean?" Vegeta flicked some into the tub. Trunks immediately jumped out and wrapped a towel around himself before kicking Vegeta in the shin.

"Oh, it's ON!" Vegeta began trying to piss on Trunks, shooting more urine than humanly possible, and Trunks fought back with black magic… AKA the pole holding the shower curtain.

A few hours later, Vegeta had just finished a training session and was taking a drink when Goku warped beside him. "Hey 'Geta, what'cha doing?"

'Geta' sighed. "I am drinking water. Please don't ruin that moment for me."

Goku looked at the bottle and snorted in disgust. "You call that a drink? Wimp."

There were three things Vegeta couldn't stand: Gypsies, being called a wimp, and world domination crazy aliens. And because this- Oh, also telemarketers, but no one likes them. A person that leaves staplers empty and don't tell anyone counts too. And this happened to be- Ooo, I know another: People who laugh all the way through their own jokes. Okay, so he can't stand a whole ton of things. The important thing is that this is part of the top three! Well that's not true either… Whatever.

"Is that a challenge Kakarott?"

"It just may be, only if you accept though."

"What do you honestly think?"

-A while later-

Vegeta once again had to take a piss, bigger than last time due to his contest with Goku. That had gone on for three hours before they ran out of water, and Goku had left to get more. In the meantime, Vegeta planned to cheat by letting some weight loose. With a smirk on his face, Vegeta went to the bathroom to find that it was "under repairs".

"Never stopped me before!" He opened the door to find Bulma's father engaged in battle with a giant squid emerging from the toilet. "But that has."

He went through all the bathrooms in the mansion to find no place to go. Each one had a different person battling against something different that was coming out of the toilet. Vegeta went to a fast food restaurant. "Do you have a bathroom?" he asked the cashier.

"It's for paying customers only," the clerk said. Vegeta scoffed and walked toward where he thought it was, but the clerk pulled out a double barrel shotgun. "Choose your next words wisely."

Vegeta had left his wallet at home so he went down the road, only to step in drying cement. It dried immediately, so Vegeta took his shoes off and jumped over the cement… Into dog crap. He took off his socks and stepped over that. Only to step in hot tar. "ARGH, are you kidding me?" He started flying.

Trunks was looking around for Vegeta. Why he was looking, we may never know. All we know is he found peanut butter sandwiches glued to the ceiling in a shape spelling Vegeta's name. Vegeta does very interesting things when he's bored. Trunks raised an eyebrow at this and kept looking.

He eventually found a note on the back of the fridge.

_Gone to piss._

_Vegeta._

Well that wasn't good. Whenever Vegeta wanted to do something, he became obsessed with it and no matter who, what, or where stood in his way he'd get it done.

"Screw this, I'll just piss behind a bush." Vegeta lowered into a park and walked behind a bush. He would have started, but a squirrel came and started clawing at his left ear. The Saiyan fought it off as hard as he could, but the creature was smart, and small.

The fight was epic and long, but the squirrel came out as the victor. It knocked him unconscious and dragged Vegeta back to his home where Goku was waiting. "Thanks Nibbles." The squirrel nodded in acknowledgement then left.

When Vegeta woke up, he noticed that he still had to piss and Goku had four jugs full of water. "Shall we begin?" he asked, an evil tone in his voice.

"I am going to make squirrels extinct when this is all over… You know I can."

"I don't doubt you. Now let's do this!"

Vegeta was undoubtedly losing this round, he couldn't handle any more water but Goku was drinking perfectly. "No fair, you have a bigger body and a longer digestive system…"

"Not to mention I went to the bathroom like three times."

"WHAT?!"

"Did I forget to tell you? Me and Krillin made a bet, and right now I'm winning!"

"That little asshole… I'm going to piss in his ear!" Vegeta flew out the window toward Krillin's home.

Trunks watched this in amusement. "So what was the bet?" he asked Goku.

"Huh? Oh, no bet, Krillin just hasn't given my screwdriver back so I did all this," Goku explained.

"My dad always calls you an idiot and a lot of worse things that I don't feel like reciting, but I'm beginning to see some deception. Wanna teach me?"

Not much I could think of to add to this redone chapter. I changed a lot of it, and practically made a new chapter, but I guess I'll upload chapter 30 to make up for it.


	3. Don't Overfeed the Plant

I'm glad people are reading it this far (although I could do with some freaken reviews!). I would have thought how stupid the plotlines are would have driven some people away. I'm glad people like stupidity. Agh, once again, I'm going in circles.And untilI geta lot of reviews (like seven)I will not post another one.On with the chapter!

* * *

**Episode Three: Don't Overfeed the Plant!**

Trunks went to Vegeta's room to ask if he could get a new Game Cube. He had gotten mad and kicked his. But forgetting his strength, it broke.

There, he found that Vegeta was gone.

Manwhile, at Goku's house, Chichi had gotten a new houseplant. "Goku, I'm leaving you in charge of this plant," she said. "DON'T OVERFEED IT!"

"Don't worry, I won't," Goku said.

Chichi left, and he took some plant food. "Now what's that say?" he said, squinting at it. The writing was tiny. "Eight spoonfulls a...day? Okay!" He took out a spoon and put that much in.

The plant grew very fast those next few hours. Then the doorbell rang. Goku answered it.

"Uh, Kakarott? Can I borrow your flamethower?" Vegeta asked.

"Why?"

"Uh, I need to borrow it."

"Good enough for me!" He handed Vegeta the flamethower. Vegeta left grinning.

An hour later Trunks came by. "Have you seen my dad?" he asked Goku.

"Yeah, he asked if he could borrow my flamethrower."

"PLEASE don't tell me you said ye- You have a flamethrower?"

"Yes, I said yes. And yes, I also have a flamethrower."

Trunks ran after Vegeta as fast as he could. Goku shrugged and went back to eating dinner.

Goku kept putting eight spoonfulls of plant food in the plant every day for about three weeks. When he finished that time, he went to read the newspaper. Goku was reading about the hockey game the previous night, while on the front was a picture of Vegeta with the headline: "Guy with Flamethrower Stopped from Burning Down City" in the second section. The main headline was the title: "New Discovery made: Do not Keep Active Bomb in Basement or it will Explode". Hard to believe _that's _the main headline.

A fly flew in a window and passed the giant houseplant. Goku looked up to see the fly gone. He shrugged ang looked back at the paper. The houseplant's main leaf moved, but there was no wind.

Goku fed it the same amount for eight more weeks. The plant grew to 9 feet.

"I'm not sure it's supposed to grow that big," Gohan said to Goku. They were standing beside it.

"Sure it is!" Goku said. "It's perfectly natural!"

Gohan decided to agree then left. Goku went to feed it when he noticed they were out of plant food. Since Chichi wasn't there, he decided to go himself. Goku got into his shopping clothes. He put on blue clown shoes, a blue tuxedo and a red top hat.

Goku went to the store. People were staring at him. 'Wait, these aren't my shopping clothes!' Goku thought when he saw himself in the mirror. He teleported back and got into his normal clothes. Goku then realized he was at the food store, not the plant food store. He went there and bought fifteen bags.

When Goku got back, the plant had spikes down its stem. It had two huge leaves whre the arms would be and two on top shaped like a mouth. Goku ignored this freakiness and went to his room to go on the internet.

Goten walked into the plant room. "This plant is getting freaky," he said. Goten went to the phone and called Trunks over.

-15 minutes later-

"You're right, that IS big!" Trunks said when he saw the plant.

"Yeah, and I'm becoming suspicious that we haven't seen any bugs around in weeks," Goten said.

Trunks poked it and a leaf of the plant smacked him away. "IT'S ALIVE!" Trunks grabbed a table and threw it at the plant. It bit it in half and roared. The spikes covering its stem were also in its mouth like teeth.

Goten shot a blast but the spikes deflected it. It bounced around the room breking the TV, the radio, the vase, the lamp, the chair, the floor and burninga hole on where Goten was on their family portrait. He gulped and the plant picked him up. Goten bit a hole in the leaf. The plant roared when Trunks and Goten an up the stairs. It shot a vine from its mouth which wrapped around Trunks legs. Trunks flung his leg over causing the plant to fall down He hit the vine on the wall until the plant let go. He followed Goten and they baracaded themselves in his room. The plant got up and began hopping over to the stairs. Itsroots were still in the plantpot.

"We can't run forever," Trunks said.

"Let's get weed killer!" Goten said.

"Okay, you distract it, I get to the gardening cupboard!" Trunks said. But the door flug open to show the plant, the leaves shaped like a mouth grinning. "Crud," they both said in union.

The plant hopped into the room and Goten tripped it. They ran out and into another room to continue planning. The plant burst into that room so they flew back down the stairs. The plant hopped, tripped and fell down the stairs where the plantpot broke. The roots grew into the size of tentacles and the plant crawled after them. It picked up Goten when Trunks got the weedkiller and sprayed it. The plant roared and fell over.

"Done," Trunks said. Him and Goten dragged the plant outside and threw it in the river.

The only problem after that was explaining it to Goku. They told him the plant was gone when they got there. Goku turned around and slipped on some dirt. He looked and saw the broken plantpot. Goku picked a shard up. "Hey, a root! I can re-grow it!" Goku said happily. Goten and Trunks looked at each other fearfully. The next day, the root was discintergrated.

* * *

There is chapter three. Tell me what you think about it. That's all I have to say. 


	4. Pet Turtle

Yay! I have finally gotten some reviews! Now I'm happy enough to post this chapter early, so enjoy!

I don't own the Guiness Book of World Records. But does anyone really own any of this stuff?

* * *

**Episode Four: Pet Turtle**

Gohan (age 22) rolled over in his bed. He just couldn't sleep. It was probably from Goku's birthdayparty going on late into the night. He covered his ears with his pillow. There was a crash and someone saying, "Oops, I think that was Gohan's!"

"THAT'S IT!" he yelled. Gohan walked down the stairs and began hiperventalating at what he saw. Goku's _birthday_ had turned into a new year's eve party. There were mud prints everywhere. On the floor, the tables, the roof (they can fly, remember?) and too many other spots to mention. A dart board was drawn on the wall with darts missing it completely, one even in a picture of Goku's forehead (it was Vegeta's)! Lamps and furnature was broken and flipped over, food and cups were lying everywhere, Goku had the vaccuum stuck on his face and Piccolo's books had funny faces drawn on most pages. Piccolo was of course in front of the books, staring at them, not moving. The fridge had been relocated to on top of the couch and had Goku (when he got the vaccuum off) and Krillen were on it sword fighting with Chichi's family heirloom swords. Music was blaring to the max. Quite a few people were drunk. Make that most. Vegeta and Piccolo weren't even close to that (Vegeta was in a corner trying to avoid contact with anyone (Bulma forced him to go) and Piccolo was still still over the books).

Gohan took a huge breath. "**EVERYBODY BE QUIET! I'M TRYING TO SLEEP!**" he screamed. Everyone looked at him. Goku slipped, fell off the fridge, hit his temple on the edge of the table and stopped moving. He was out cold. Krillin fell and the same happened.

Vegeta took that as his opportunity to sneak out a window and run away as fast as he could. Piccolo grabbed his books, rubbed them with his hand and made soothing noises before following.

"What's wrong Gohan?" someone asked.

"I'll tell you: I am trying to sleep and you guys-" he leaned a bit forward over the banister of the stairs, "-are making a noise that should go in the Guiness Book or World Recor...AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Gohan had fallen over the banister and everything went black.

Gohan groaned and sat up. His head had a swelling bump on it from colliding head first with the ground. He was aching from lying in an uncomfortable position, unconscience, at the bottom of the stairs for over six hours.

Gohan tried to stand up, but his legs were aching. Normally a fall like that would be a mild annoyence, but he was half asleep.

"Hey Gohan!" Goku said happily looking down at him. "Were you at the party too? I can't remember any of it after the presents."

"Actually, I fell over the banister and lay on the ground unconscience for over six hours," Gohan grumbled.

Goku just nodded holding a laugh. 'Too bad I missed that fall!' Goku thought.

"Shut up!" Gohan snapped before limping to the table.

"Oh, son!" Gohan turned around. "Meet Elvis!" Goku said holding a baby turtle in front of Gohan's face.

"That's nice," Gohan mumbled sitting down.

They all ate breakfast and did their daily buisness. Gohan went to train with Goten, Goku fed Elvis and Chichi prepared dinner for most of the day. Yep, their normal routine.

* * *

Okay, I know that was short, but all it really does is introduce a new OC, Elvis the turtle. He will be in another chapter. Actually, he's a moderate character in the story (And possibly other ones!). Meaning he'll be in a lot of chapters that Goku and his family are in. 

I hope you enjoyed, review!


	5. Vegeta's Answering Machine A

This chapter is going to be a bit different, for it's Vegeta's answering machine!

Vegeta: Why would I have a answering machine?

Cir (Seer): Because you do. I don't own Blockbuster or any movies they talk about. And unless I get reviews, I'm not going to post. Every chapter I get one or less reviews. Well if anyone's reading this, they should review, or I won't know if people like this and I'll leave it to rot until I have enough! Anyway...

_Italics are the message._

>This is what Vegeta records on the machine.>

* * *

**Episode Five: Vegeta's Answering Machine A**

Bulma got back from her Vacation. 'I hope Vegeta made the answering machine like he was supposed to,' she thought. Bulma went to the phone to see an answering machine with "22" flashing. "Wow, a lot of messages," Bulma said. "Then again, I've been away for eight weeks. And I don't think Vegeta knows how to check this thing. Let's see what there is." :

**22**

>Er, is this on? I think so. This is Vegeta, now leave your message or I'll kill you! Wait, that wasn't right...Redo?>

_Uh, Vegeta? I was wondering if you wanted to come fishing with me? Gohan's at school, Chichi never wants to and no one else picked up the phone. My number is 564-420-2988. Goku._

**21**

>Leave your message after the- (fart in backround) Uh, redo?>

_Bulma, this is Tien. I have a little problem. You see, my pet dinosaur caught rabies, and I need to know the cure so- Ow! He bit me! Wait...Uh-oh... ..._

**20**

>Attention piece of trash: you are listening to Vegeta, and unless you leave a message, I'll BLOW YOUR HEAD OFF! Wait, redo?>

_Vegeta, I kinda need that BBQ I leant you last Tuesday. I'm having a family reunion on the weekend, and they all like steak. Krillen._

**19**

>Just leave your message. Too plain. Redo.>

_Nevermind the fishing thing. I went with Elvis the turtle. He's pretty good, his diametre is now eight inches. From, Goku._

**18**

>This is Vegeta. Leave your (farting noises) message after the beep. Alright! A good one! Wait, farting noises? Redo. TRUNKS!>

_Mr. Vegeta? This is Blockbuster. Your three rentals, Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, The Bourne Supremacy and JohnnyEnglish are seventeen and a half weeks overdue. This is the first warning._

**17**

>Whoever you are, you're wasting your time calling me. So you're an ibiat. Did I say ibiat? Redo.>

_Vote Creakantredforgonasdertredas and you will have all your problems solved! I will make a better mayor then Capioridefury! All you have to do is vote for me, and you won't be dissapointed. No one will be dissapointed! Pass on the word, and- _(time expires)

**16**

>Hi, pudding-DOH! Redo.>

_This is your second warning. Return the videos._

**15**

>I'm running out of ideas for this, so leave a message.>

_This is Piccolo. I have my reasons to believe that you took my treadmill, so return it! The first is that you wrote your name on the wall, and the second is that I saw one with _my _name on it in your basement._

**14**

>(Nose picking noses) TRUNKS, GET AWAY FROM THERE! Redo.>

_Hi Vegeta, this is Bulma. I just called to ask how things are going. Here, the host of the auction took out a lighter and walked into a gas truck, and you can guess what happened. He hit his head, said "Ow" and walked away._

**13**

>Leave your stupid message.>

_(Trunks attempting to sound like Goku) Hi, this is Trun- I mean Goku! I'm not your son! Definitely not! Come on and blow up my house! I dare you! You are a weak sissy who can't... Um... Just blow it up! I'm Goku, not Trunks pretending to sound like Goku! Uh... Blow it up!_

**12**

>If you truely have anything important to say, your talking to the wrong person.>

_I will destroy you Vegeta! I'm currently in the Himalayas planning my revenge! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! You will die! This is Freiz-_ (time expires)

**11**

>Leave your message and stop wasting my time!>

_Trunks, this is Vegeta! I want you to unlock the front door RIGHT NOW! The woman says I won't get any Italian pudding if I break the wall down, and I can't risk it. Open it, or you're grounded!_

**10**

>This is Trunks, leave your message, or...or...or...(falls asleep)>

_This is your final warning. Send back the tapes!_

**9**

>Still Trunks, leave your message.>

_Vegeta, I'm gracious for the fact that you brought my BBQ back, but I could have done without the dynamite. Krillin._

**8**

>Trunks is still home.>

_Unless you unlock this door _this second_, I will phone your mother! Wait. My cell's gonna run out of minutes in five seconds. This sucks. Fu... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... ... _(dial tone)

**7**

>Still Trunks!>

_We're sending goonsand ninjasover to collect the movies as we speak._

**6**

>Hi, this is Trunks, if you're doing this, then eat your underwear.>

_My phone died. As I was saying, this is Freiz-_

**5**

>This is Trunks, leave a message after you hear the puking noise.>

_Uh, hi. This isn't your neighbour. I hate you! Soon we will bomb you. This is not your neighbour's son making a prank call!_

**4**

>Trunks here, leave a message, and we won't call back!>

_THIS IS DEBBIEDROID. I HAVE RETURNED. VEGETA MUST MEET ME IN THE DUMP OR I WILL DESTROY THE CITY. UH-OH, A MOUSE JUST PRESSED MY SELF DESTRUCT BUTTON. WHY DID I EVEN PUT THAT BACK ON? THIS CAN'T BE GOOD..._

**3**

>Still not calling anyone back, because the talk button's broken!>

_Uh, Bulma? I don't suppose you've got the cure yet? Have you even come bck yet, because my vision's going blury and- _(Message ends)

**2**

>I'm getting someone to fix the talk button, so you should get a message soon!>

_This is a citizen of Neptune. Our flight disk's spark plug broke in front on your car, and do you have a new one? Oh, we'll pay for the car too._

**1**

>My dad's still locked out and the button's even worse, so leave your message.>

_Is there a Iha there? Last name Vebodyodor._

Bulma sighed. She unlocked the door, wished Tien back to life with the Dragonballs and got Piccolo his treadmill back. Everyone else fixed their problem.

"I can't believe so many people had so many problems in two months!" she said.

* * *

That's our chapter. Chapter twelve will be the chapter "MOVIE MANIAC"! Andyou've been waiting for that!Or at least, I tthink you have... 


	6. Stay out of the Attic!

**Episode Six: Stay out of the Attic!**

It was a normal day. Pretty much normal. Vegeta had been going into the attic a lot, and could be heard thuding around and moving stuff. He came down about five times a day: to sleep, eat the three meals and train. He would _never ever EVER _forget to train.

Trunks had asked about what he was doing, but he would always snap, "None of your buisness, and don't go up there while I'm there! And stay out of the basement for the next few days too."

Vegeta was eating breakfast. Trunks walked up to him. "What do you want?" Vegeta grumbled while he had food in his mouth.

"Hey dad, could I get my ski equipment?" Trunks asked. His ski equipment was in the attic.

"Sure, why would I care? Now let me eat in peace!" Trunks stared blankly and got the ladder to get into the attic. He put it up against the wall and climbed into he attic. 'Wait, I can fly!' Trunks remembered when he got up there. He looked around. Nothing out of the ordinary. He open a wardrobe. Everything was normal. He looked up. There weren't any webs. That was odd, Vegeta loved spiders. In fact, he once bought 7000 tarantulas for his own birthday present, saying everyone else's would duck. That's right, he said duck. Anyway, he saw a mouse hole, but Vegeta never cared about mice, so it made sense. There was the green with lightning bolts electric guitar Vegeta had bought about a year ago, covered in dust. So he grabbed the equipment so it wouldn't be suspicious and went back down.

Vegeta sent Trunks to the ski hill. He signed him up on the death hill. "Gee, thanks dad," Trunks murmured at the top of he hill. It was above the clouds. Or it probably looked like that because it was foggy at the ground. Suddenly an airplane flew passed him.

"If the passengers on the left will looks out the window, they will see a doomed kid," the speakers in the plane announced.

He slipped and was sent flying down the hill he barely dodged a few evergreens and hit right through one. It fell and began speeding after him. It hit a stump and began rolling sideways.

Trunks turned at a cliff and the log hit about fifteen people over the cliff. Trunks sighed of relief before realizing that Vegeta was on the hill too. "Dad? Who's watching the house?" Trunks yelled up to him.

"I got the robots doing that."

-Back at the house-

The robots were raiding the safe.

-At Trunks and Vegeta-

"Oh," Trunks said. "Dad, your legs!"

Vegeta noticed he was doing the splits. "Okay, think about what the instructor said!"

-Flashback-

"Okay class, if you ever get stuck doing the splits, then-"

-Somewhereelse_-_

"Feels like I'm wearing nothing at all!"

-Reality-

"Stupid sexy Flanders!" Vegeta said before lumps of ice slammed into his crotch. "AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! AH! WHO! WOULD! HAVE! ICE! SET! UP! LIKE! THIS! AH! Agghhhh!" Then Vegeta fell over a cliff. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH- Wait, I can fly!"

Trunks raised an eyebrow at this, but just continued. Instead of going all the way down the hill, he flew home to further search the attic.

There were still the same things as last time. Although there was a few more mice. They were running around.

Trunks heard the front door open then close so he ran to his room. Trunks peeked through the crack and saw Vegeta fly into the attic. Trunks waited a few minutes then peeked into the attic. Vegeta was in front of a bunch of midgets playing the guitar and singing.

"-flipped  
Broke his back for some milk and cookies  
Sounds to me like he was tired of gettin' gypped

"Wo, the night Santa went crazy  
The night St. Nick went insane  
Realized he's gettin' a raw deal  
Something finally must have snapped in his brain  
Wo, something finally must have snapped in his brain  
Tell ya, something finally must have snapped... in his brain!"

The midgets cheered. "Thank you, this next is one of my personnal favourites, it's called 'I am Cow'." Vegeta pressed a button on a radio for the other instruments.

Vegeta cleared his throat...

"I am cow, hear me moo  
I weight twice as much as poo- you! Ha, nearly screwed up. I thought I would but didn't! Oh, right.  
And I look... good... on the barbeque!  
Yogurt, curd, cream cheese and butters  
Made from liquid from my udders  
I am cow, I am cow, hear me moo!

But just then Vegeta stepped too far and the amp became unplugged. He noticed and when he went back he tripped on the cord and hit his jaw on the floor. "Oops," he said before plugging it back in. "Now where was I? Oh ya.

"I am cow, eating grass  
Methane gas comes out my ass  
And out my muzzle when I belch  
Oh, the ozone layer is thinner  
From the outcome of my dinner  
I am cow, I am cow, Ive got gas

"I am cow, here I stand  
Far and wide upon this land  
And I am living everywhere  
From BC to Newfoundland  
You can squeeze my teets by hand  
I am cow, I am cow, I am cow  
I am cow, I am cow, there's a cow!"

The midgets cheered. "No, seriously, look out! The neighbour's cow got in again!"

The midgets fled screaming as the cow rampaged around the attic. "Uh, that concludes this. Bye!" He turned around to run out the attic and fell into the hole, right on Trunks. "Uh, hi dad," Trunks said.

"Uh, hi."

"Sooooo, nice day, isn't it?"

"Yep," Vegeta said. "I'll be going now."

"Okay."

"Alright."

"You do that."

"Alright. Just going over there."

"Of course. And I that way."

"Ay."

"Ay."

"Yup."

"Uh-huh." They both ran into their rooms.


	7. Police Paradise

Time for another great chapter of this story. And by now you should know that when I say great, I mean stupid and pointless, like basically every story I write. The police are based on the Simpsons police, and if you don't know what they're like, you'll see...

* * *

**Episode Seven: Police Paradise**

Vegeta was going into the bank when he saw the clerk being held up. "Out of my way," he said while throwing the robber out the window.

He withdrawled some money then Goku walked out of the washroom. Why they have a washroom in the bank, I don't know. "You would be good on the police force," Goku said.

Vegeta snorted. "We already have your son doing basically that," he said as "Saiyaman" flew by.

"But he's not _in _the force." When Goku didn't see any enthusiasm, he added, "They have payme-" He didn't finish, for Vegeta had run across the street and into the building.

When he opened the door, he saw four police officers: A skinny one, a tall one, a short one and a fat one. The fat one had a blindfold on and was playing "Pin the Tail on the Donkey".

"Ahem," Vegeta cough. Three looked at him, the other was still trying to pin the tail.

"Have a problem, call our phone," the tall one said before falling down and snoring loudly.

"He was exposed to too much chloroform," the skinny one said. "The head of this place is- OW! Pinning a tail on my butt!"

"Sorry Der, but it's an officer's duty to try to finish a "Pin the tail on the Donkey" game," the leader said.

"My name's Derrek, Ed, and I don't remember reading that in the book," Derrek said.

Ed shrugged. "It's somewhere on our badges."

"I want to join this sorry excuse for a police force," Vegeta said, crossing his arms.

"Have you eaten salami?" Ed asked.

"Yes."

"Did you like it?"

"No."

"Then your in."

Derrek walked up to him. "You said I had to be able to stop one robbery to join," he said. "And this guy who we've never seen before has to have not liked salami?"

"I don't make up the rules," Ed said.

"Actually, half the rules I've heard you say, you've made up," the short one said.

"That's right Paul. I _am_ the best cop ever," Ed said.

"That's not what I-"

"However, you do have to pass the training course," Ed said.

-Outside-

Instead of crawling under the barb wire, he walked through it, even sat down in it halfway through. Instead of climbing the wall, Vegeta punched right through it. He aced the quiz about police, mainly because it was about A.F.V. The last test was the driving course. He drove through an alley, over one of those draw bridges that boats go under while it was half open, drove the car up a flight of stairs onto a roof and jumped it off onto the mats that he was supposed to finish on.

"Sorry, you'll have to do it again," Ed said. "I was busy playing my gameboy."

The tall guy, whose name was Sam, tried to demonstrate the course before Vegeta did, and had fallen unconscience again at the bridge, plunged off it, into the smokestack of a boat which exploded. He was dead. Or you could agree with the witnesses and say that he was floating on the car yelling for help as the car was drifting out to sea as the others were eating lunch.

The next day, Vegeta just sat down on a chair. Ed walked in. "Vegita, want a donut?" he asked.

"MY NAME IS VEGETA! WHY DOES EVERYONE CALL ME VEGITA?" he yelling. Ned poked his head in. "Because your name sounds too much like vegetable," he said.

"And no, I don't want a donut," Vegeta grumbled. Ed shrugged and threw all the donuts, and the box, in his mouth and swallowed. Vegeta's eye twitched.

Ed turned to the answering machine. There were 89. "Can't people in this town take care of themselves?" he said before deleting them all.

Someone walked in. "Someone mugged me!" they said.

"Wait in the waiting line,"Paul said, pointing to an enormous line. He walked up to the first person and held up a picture. "Is this the guy?"

"No."

Derrek walked in next. "Ed, shouldn't we be trying to find Sam?"

"He's dead."

"But he was seen shooting a flare five minutes-"

"He's _dead._"

Vegeta groaned. He began to wonder what made him decide to join such a crappy police force. 'Oh, right. Kakarott and the payment,' he thought.

Ed took out another picture. "Is this him?"

"You've already shown me that!"

Vegeta walked outside. "This place is boring," he said out loud.

"Tell me about it."

"Who's there?"

"No one."

"Kakarott..." he said threateningly.

Goku stepped out, along with the tortoise. "How'd you know?"

"I could tell by your voice, and I could see your head over the bush."

Goku shrugged. "Not my fault," he said.

"Actually it is," Vegeta retorted. "Only an idiot like you could make such obvious mistakes."

Goku glared at him. "I still have that flamethrower," he said. "And I'm not weak."

"Neither am I," Vegeta said.

"Well you were at one point," Goku said. "Remember Debbie?"

Vegeta growled. Then Dende walked out from in front of another bush since he camoflauged and hadn't appeared yet. "Who wants pickles?" he said eating one.

"I read a book that said that pickles were made from baby Namekians," Vegeta said. Dende looked at the jar which said: "MADE FROM BABY NAMEKIANS". Dende screamed, threw the bottle in the window of the police station and ran over to throw up and a bush.

"Are they _really _made of baby Nameks?" Goku asked.

"No," Vegeta began, "last night I taped a label like that on each one of his pickle jars, seeing as he ate them too much." Then a devilish grin appeared on Vegeta's face. "You know, I could pull tricks like that on the chief of police here even easier!" he said.

"You shouldn't," Goku said before teleporting. Elvis rolled his eyes and began making its way back to Goku's house. He lived about eighteen kilometres away, so it took about three hours (Turtles/tortoises actually run pretty fast).

Ed poked his head out the window. "A-a-are w-we at w-w-w-wa-wa-war?" he said, looking back at the jar of pickles that crashed through the window.

"Yes, we're being attacked with pickles," Vegeta said sarcastically.

Ed screamed, climbed onto the roof, jumped into a helicopter, flew away and crashed into a mountan where it exploded. A taxi drove up to the police station and Ed, covered in burn marks and ash, climbed out.

Vegeta snickered. This career would be amusing.

Three weeks later, Sam was found...dead. Or you could agree with the people who found him and agree he was snoring loudly, and that he's at his house taking a break and trying to find the antidote to chloroform exposure.

* * *

I've had so many reviews lately that I've decided to move "Movie Maniac" ahead to the next chapter! 

Anyway, there will be refrences to this job Vegeta has in some other chapters, and he may even go in some days. Ed, Derrek, Sam and Paul are going to be added to my OC list before I post this, so you can look there if you want to.


	8. Movie Maniac

Time for thegreta, hard worked on, mightychapter long awaited. I think. Well, for those of you who have waited, you're getting it. The one, the only, MOVIE MANIAC!

Note: I don't own Family Guy or Burger King.

* * *

**Episode Eight: Movie Maniac**

Trunks put up security cameras at all the exits. He didn't want Vegeta to escape and cause chaos again. If he kept that up, he would make World War 3!

But at that time, he was sleeping. Vegeta was right above him in his room. Trunks drifted off to sleep. Then there was a thud that woke him up. Vegeta had fallen off the bed.

Trunks grabbed a broom and hit the roof hard a few times. "Could you sleep closer to the middle?" Trunks yelled up. He heard grumbling and Vegeta getting back in bed.

Vegeta was woken up by a crash. He looked at the window and saw someone breaking in. Vegeta's strength would kill someone, so he grabbed a grenade launcher and pointed it at the intruder. The intruder saw the weapon and jumped out the window.

Vegeta decided on writing a movie. He'd get all his "friends" to play the parts. He could only imagine what dreadful part to give Yamcha...

He gathered them all in the basement. "Alright, who are you trying for?" Vegeta asked through a megaphone on the director's chair with his name on the back to Goku.

"I'm trying for the main character," Goku said.

"Good luck!" Vegeta said sarcastically.

Goku cleared his throat. "You will go down!" Goku said perfectly. "I won't let you take over the world, Bob Wannacandy!"

Trunks was with Vegeta so that he would make fair choices. "Great job!" Trunks said. "You can be Sir Hit-by-steamroller!"

Goku walked behind Vegeta smiling. Tien walked onto stage. "Who are you trying to be?" Trunks asked, for Vegeta was sulking that Goku was in his movie.

"I'm trying for Mr. Three Eyes," Tien said.

"Do your lines, three eyes," Vegeta said grumpily.

Tien cleared his throat. "Bob, I think you should get a life!" Tien said in a stuffed up voice. It was perfect. But...

"You can be Mrs. Steps-in-dog-crap," Vegeta said smirking. Tien glared at him before walking behind him.

Goten walked on stage. "I wanna be Bob Wannacandy," he said.

"Just say your line."

"I like you. When the world is mine, your death shall be quick and painless..."

Vegeta was impressed (GASP!). "You'll be Bob Wannacandy."

Goten walked off stage smiling bigger than physically possible. Piccolo walked on stage. "Why did you drag me here?" he asked in monotone.

"To play in my movie. You'll be _perfect _for the tiny depressed baby," Vegeta said into his megaphone. Piccolo raised an eyebrow and walked behind Vegeta with Goku and Tien. Krillin walked on stage. "You'll be the freakishly tall thug." Tien and Piccolo smacked their foreheads as if saying "I don't believe this..." but Goku looked blankly at them. "What, I don't get it," he said. They glared at him.

Marron walked on stage. She was only two and a half. "I'm trying for Bob Wannacandwi," she said.

"That part's filled, you'll be the cat turd." Marron walked behind him looking depressed. Yamcha walked on stage. "Stunt punching bag," Vegeta said right away.

Gohan came on next. "I'm going for Mr. Three Eyes," he said.

"Just go," Vegeta whispered.

"What did you just say?"

"Good enough, you got the part."

"But I didn't even hear what you said!"

"You're good at this. Now GO!" Korin walked on stage. "You're going to be the cat," Vegeta said.

"But how can the cat turd be bigger then the cat?" Trunks asked.

Vegeta looked at him. "Who cares!" he yelled into the megaphone which was in Trunks' ear.

After that, here's what the parts were:

Goku: Sir Hit-by-steamroller. Tien: Mrs. Steps-in-dog-crap. Goten: Bob Wannacandy. Gohan: Mr. Three eyes. Puar: Crazy weapon person. Korin: the cat. Marron: The cat turd. Piccolo: the tiny depressed baby. Krillen: Freakishly tall thug. Master Roshi: dumb old man. Yamcha: punching bag stunt double.

Most of them were unhappy.

"Alright cast, meet me here tomorrow and we'll film the first scene," Vegeta said into the megaphone. "My son and assistant Trunks will hand you the scripts. Read scene one so we can start. Anyone who doesn't read it, is fired." Everybody gulped then went home.

Piccolo read the script. "Let's see... Me: Me made a poopy woopy! What the? Goku: Oh no, now I have to change you! Changes baby's diaper? What the hell?"

Goku checked his. "Yay, I get a crane!"

-The next day-

"Okay, who read the script?" Everyone stepped forward except Master Roshi, who was reading a magazine. "Rochy, you're FIRED!" Vegeta yelled at him.

Everybody left went to Vegeta. "Alright, you all need to-"

Trunks interrupted. "Dad, could you put the megaphone down, we're all right here!"

Vegeta muttered something and put the megaphone down. "Anyway, you have to get into your costumes. Then we start filming."

"We're starting already?" Krillin said.

"Well ya, I told the movie theatres that we'd have it ready by next week! Anyway, ACTION!"

They started filming. Goku was a contruction worker who heard about a evil plan. He went to the bad guy. "So you're the...(Goku looked at his hand)...bad guy, Bob Wannacandy!"

"Yes...(Goten looked at his hand)...I am. So how'd you...(he looked)...get in?"

"I beat up...(Goku looked)...Mr. Three eyes. And now look at next hand (Goku had read what he out to remind him to look at his other hand) it's your turn!"

They were about to get to a fight scene.

"CUT! stunt double, get in here!" Yamcha came in on his knees dressed like Goten was. "ACTION!" Goku kicked him in the face. Vegeta smirked when he thought he saw a tooth fly. Yamcha was about to bite Goku. "CUT! Goton, or whatever your name is, get back in there. Yam-boy, get in Kakarott's place." They did that. "ACTION!" Goten bit Yamcha and threw him at a wall and into a compost bin which he threw out a set up window (they're still in his basement). But of course Trunks never stopped the camera through all the cuts and actions. Vegeta wanted it to be Director's cut.

They stopped for the day when Yamcha (playing as Goku) was about to be fed to the rabid eels.

"Say Vegeta?" Yamcha said to Vegeta after everyone else left.

"What is it Yam-boy?" Vegeta asked grumpily.

"Well, seeing as I'm doing all these dangerous stunts ('If only he knew what I'm doing,' Vegeta thought), could I have a pay rise?" Vegeta looked at him blankly.

-1 day later-

"Where's Yamcha?" Goku asked Vegeta when he saw him.

"Oh, Yam-boy? He asked for a pay rise."

Everyone gasped. "So what ditch is he lying, out cold in now?" Piccolo asked sarcastically.

"The one halfway down Welvard Avenue," Vegeta answered before flying into his director's chair. "I wasn't being serious," Piccolo whispered and the people around him snickered.

"Okay, we left off at the eel scene. Kakarott, without a stunt double you'll be doing it yourself," Vegeta said into the megaphone. "Trunks, have you been starving those eels like I told you to?"

"Well, that was when you said it was for Yamcha," Trunks said rubbing the back of his head. "So, I gave them a few fish."

"No! You're not supposed to feed them that!" Vegeta said grabbing his head. Trunks looked, and all the eels were floating on the surface of the water shaking and twitching. Trunks looked at him.

"But eels eat fish all the time."

"Not these. These are my personnally bred super eels," Vegeta said. "These are four of the ten. They were made from combining mating processes from five separate galaxies. They can only eat things that are less then an eighth of their size, mate every few days, give birth every fourteen days and eat their parents after seventeen hours of maturity. They would live for at least 472 and a half hours if they aren't eaten. They give birth to seven every fifteen minutes of the first birth, and cannot be killed by any form of nuclear weapon. But the major loopholes in this plan are that usually only two of the birth survive, they are too violent against each other and that they can't breathe through their eyes, nose, mouth or skin, they breathe through their left ear."

"Now what inspired you to make a super animal like that?" Goten asked. He was keeping Vegeta distracted while Elvis the turtle was eating the script.

"A movie I saw. Now for this movie. Trunks, get a few more eels,put the other eels you fed fish to in their tank,and everyone get in your places," Vegeta ordered into the megaphone. They did as they were told. "ACTION!"

Goku was tied up and being lowered into the pool of super eels. One shot lightning bolts out of its eyes. "Agh! Vegeta!"

"Oh, didn't I tell you that? Oh well. Joe, don't shoot lightning, okay?" The eels nodded. Goku's ankles were in the water. The eels surrounded his feetand looked like they were starting to eat, but Goku's footwear just being wrapped around and the eels were moving, not actually eating, like they were trained to do. Goten walked up to Goku.

"So...(he looked at his hand)...I see you will be eaten. Mwahahaha...(he looked)...ha!"

Puar swung down on a rope with a machine gun that shot nerf bullets. Puar shot the eels and they played dead. "Everything must be shot!" Puar said before shooting the nurf bullets at Goten. Goten moved and jumped into a steamroller. "Now I shall...(he looked)...win!"

"CUT! Trunks, turn off the camera this time." Vegeta walked over to Goten. "Do it like this! Now I shall win!" Vegeta hit the gas and it reversed into a wall. He put it forward. "Ooo, this is kinda fun!" Vegeta said after Trunks flicked the camera on for the record. "Sit down kid, and watch how a _real _villian would do it!" Vegeta turned the steamroller at Goku, who gulped. "Now watch."

He started driving at Goku, crushing half the set. Goku flew up the stairs and Vegeta followed. The stairs were crushed to a ramp. Trunks grabbed the camera and ran after him.

Goku ran out the front door and slammed it shut. He heard a rumbling and saw Vegeta smash right through the wall. "Vegeta, you do know you just smashed through your front door, right?" Goten said.

"Be quite, I'm steering at Kakarott!"

"You mean my dad?"

"Uh...yes."

Goku ran down and alley and hid behind a garbage can. But the steamroller turned and started smashing through the alley. The steamroller's was to qide, so the walls broke. "You can't run forever!" Vegeta yelled.

"Your right!" Goku said then started flying. Vegeta growled and started meddling with the controls, causing the roller to drop tar, do a backflip and do a backflip while dropping tar. But he found a button saying 'gun' and pressed it. A gun appeared on top of the roller and shot tar at Goku, which hit him, causing him to fall and get stuck in one spot.

"Time for 'The Steamroller Strikes Back'!" Vegeta said while laughing and driving at Goku.

Goku licked up a bit of tar and spat it in Vegeta's eyes. "AAGGHH!" The roller steered out of control and smashed into one of the buildings in the alley. It crumbled and Goku stood up. He began hopping away while Vegeta cleared his eyesight. The roller was about to hit the second building when Goten grabbed the wheel and steered it to the road.

Goku had somehow gotten the tar off when he saw the roller emerging from the alley. Goku ran into a forest and looked behind him to see no Vegeta. He stopped for a second when he heard trees smashing. Goku still couldn't see Vegeta. He faced forward and saw the roller coming at him from where he was heading. "How'd you get there first?" Goku asked.

"I'm not sure," Vegeta said, before continuing his rampage.

Goku flew close to the ground back into the city, and onto a cliff. 'He'll never get up here!' Goku thought, but the roller crashed through the cliff's base and came out somewhere else. The cliff collapsed and Goku started running back toward the city. Vegeta shot some tar at him which missed. "Wait, I can teleport!" Goku said out loud and started to raise two fingers to his forehead. Vegeta saw that coming and shot tar which hit Goku. He fell and rolled down a hill, straight through a field of thorns.

Vegeta started laughing and drove the roller at Goku. Goku began doing the army crawl to move under the thorns where Vegeta couldn't see him.

He was right about the fact that Vegeta couldn't see him. But he could sense him. He would have if the fact that the rest of the group were a few blocks away, meaning they were interfering. He drove into the thorns, causing the broken spikes to go flying up. Some hit Vegeta, but Goten was sitting behind the driver's seat of the roller playing a Gameboy, no longer paying any attention to Vegeta or his dad.

Goku slipped and rolled down the hill into the lake. The tar was taken off him so he teleported to Burger King.

Vegeta could barely sense Goku, but he knew that he had left. The roller rolled down the hill and underwater when Vegeta didn't pay attention. Goten swam to the top, But Vegeta began to turn the roller around to get out. He realized some electric eels were circling him.

"I'll have a burger for now," Goku said to thecashier. He got one. Goku just sat down to eat it when a steamroller with only a steaming and electric Vegeta in the seat.

"I'll get you!" Vegeta spat and steered at Goku, who threw the burger at Vegeta's face. Vegeta brushed it off and aimed the roller at Goku, who jumped over Vegeta and started running. Vegeta chased after him and was a few inched from Goku when Goku started running uphill. The roller began to slow down and shot tar. It hit a squirrel and a few birds. The roller soon stopped completely from being too steep. Then it rolled backwards really fast, down the hill, the road, into his house, down the basement steps (or should I say ramp) and right back to where it started.

Vegeta fell off and Trunks, who was following him everywhere, turned off the camera.

-The next week-

It was premeire of Vegeta's movie. The cast and crew got in free of charge. Vegeta couldn't believe he looked like that after the roller chase. He looked slightly crazy. Everyone laughed when Korin pretended to poo and Marron, in a poo costume, jump out from behind him. They also laughed at Vegeta saying: "Ooo, this is kinda fun!" and chasing Goku.

"It's agreed," hemumbled to Trunks. "I never show my face again."

* * *

Was that worthy to be called the funniest chapter yet? Because it took a lot of time, and is the longest chapter I've ever wrote on Fanfiction...so far. So it better have been worth it. Would everyone tell me what their favourite chapter was so far in a review? I want to know how much you all liked what. 

Review anyway!


	9. CIA, Certified Idiot Association

This is another completely pointless chapter of Way of Life, in a Way... It involves a place know as the Certified Itiot Association, or as the employees call it, the CIA for short. It is not based on the CIA, I just needed something that was stupid and could be short formed to make something like that.

So enjoy it!

* * *

**Chapter Nine: The CIA, Certified Idiot Association**

Goku had fallen asleep on the toilet again. And again, Goten, who was right outside the door, could barely hold anything in. "Dad, are you almost done in there?" he said.

Goku made a particularly loud snore and Goten broke through the door. Goku fell over and fell into the bathtub, still asleep. Goten got an idea. He pluged it and put a tiny bit of hot water in. Then he set up a video camera and left.

-Five minutes later-

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! SOMEONE IS GONNA GET THEIR _BUTT KICKED!_" Goku screamed.

Just then he was sucked into the plughole and landed in a chair.

"We're part of the CIA, and we think you should join," someone said to him.

"The CIA?"

"Yes, the CIA. Cerified Idiot Association."

Another man walked into the room. He had a top hat with five stars on it. "Have you been sucking random people down plugholes and telling them they can join your squad?" he asked toughly.

"Yes sir..." they all said at once. One pressed another button and Vegeta appeared on top of Goku. "What the f-"

Goku interrupted him. "You've been selected to join the Certfied Idiot Association!" Goku said.

"Idiot? I'm no idiot!" Vegeta said.

"Remember?"

-Flashback-

Vegeta had a sword and a machine gun. They were completely different weapons, and still are different. Vegeta was shooting at the sky, claiming he was extending his empire. Trunks walked up to him, and Vegeta obviously heard. "You again? I thought I killed you!" Vegeta said.

"How is spraying with a fire extinguisher in the same catagory as death?" Trunks asked. Once again, Vegeta became a goldfish.

Vegeta began running but tripped on his "cape". "Stupid cape," Vegeta said, taking it off and throwing it at Trunks. Trunks blasted a hole through it. "Cool, I wanna try that!"

"NO!" But it was too late. Vegeta shot a blast at a building. The building caught on fire and five seconds later turned to dust. "How did that happen?" Trunks muttered with an eyebrow raised.

Vegeta threw down the machine gun and sword while starting to blast everything. Trunks hid behind rubble until it was all over. He looked and saw one of the greatest cities in the world...destroyed.

-Not flashback-

"Uh, that was a misunderstanding!" Vegeta said. "And how'd the city get rebuilt in five days anyway?"

The CIA employees whistled innocently. "That was a good thing," Vegeta said, smacking his forehead.

"So can we actually join?" Goku asked.

"I'm NOT going to join this!" Vegeta said crossing his arms.

One person snickered. "Well, we couldcontrol your memory and make you think that you're a chicken..."

"And yes, you two can join," another said.

"You can'tcontrol memories!" Vegeta said.

One pointed ametal stick at the guy beside him and the guy stiffened. Then he began to cluck, flap his arms and poke the floor. Vegeta snickered.

"No matter how amusing that is, you probably planned it." The guy pointed the stick at a plant. It began to break dance. "Okay, now I believe you."

One walked up to them. "You two must sneak into the ECIA's base and destroy it. Evil Certfied Idiot Association," he said.

"If they're as stupid as you guys, that shouldn't be a problem," Vegeta mumbled.

The guy looked at Goku. "Your codename is 'Peanut Butter Frizbee'." He looked at Vegeta. "You'll be 'Suger Dumpling."

Then it finally happened. "WHAT? I WILL NOT DAMAGE MY PRIDE WITH SUCH A STUPID CODENAME!" He turned his back and crossed his arms. "Notta chance, no way, don't count on it!"

-A few hours later-

Vegeta crawled over a hill to see a building. "This is-" Vegeta made a choking sound. "-Suger...Dumpling... I see the building," he said into his walkie talkie.

"Say over!" Goku said back. "Over."

Vegeta sighed. "Over."

"I see it too. Let's sneak in. Over."

Vegeta stood up. "Why don't we do this the easy way?" He began charging up a Final Flash blast.

"I dunno, cause we're supposed to steal blueprints? Over."

Vegeta powered it down. "But can I use my attack after?" No reply. "Over."

"Yes. Over."

Vegeta got tired of the conversation and punched a hole in the side of the building. Two idiots with shotguns walked up to him. One fired, but was holding it backwards and died. The other saw a bug and had a heart attack.

Goku walked in the hole. "We were supposed to sneak in," he said.

"My way's funner," Vegeta said as more idiots ran up to them. "And why can't they do this themselves, these guys are idiots!"

-At the Certified Idiot Association's base-

"Go fish,"Third Guy said. Yeah, that's his name.

"We're playing checkers!" First Guy (the commander with a top hat and the only one that's not an idiot) said.

"What's checkers?" Eighth Guy asked stupidly.

-Back at Goku and Vegeta-

Goku shrugged and they walked through the base. They had no problems, seeing as everyone in the ECIA either held the rocket launcher backwards or had a heart condition.

They got to the centre and took the blueprints. "STAY AWAY FROM THOSE!" someone who was probably the leader said. Then he died of walking into a high voltage statue.

Goku and Vegeta went back to the hill. Vegeta finally got to do his final flash and they got the blueprints to the idiots and smart guy. As a reward, he gave Goku a taco and Vegeta some compost, which he was algeric to so he had to go to the hospital.

* * *

Was that okay? I know some were better, but this was fairly well. Ha, heart attack from bug... Review! 


	10. Thanksgiving Special

Seeing as Thanksgiving is coming, I'm going to do a Thanksgiving special. It may be early, but I just can't wait to post it! I own nothing, except the story.

* * *

**Episode Ten: Thanksgiving Special**

Vegeta had noticed some odd things were going on. Bulma had been stuffing a turkey and preparing what seemed like a bigger meal then usual. He had asked her, and she said it was for a holiday called Thanksgiving.

"Well make a meal this big everyday, and maybe I'll stop complaining!" he said back to her.

Vegeta was working in the basement (coughnuclearmissiletoaimatGoku'shousecough) when he was interrupted.

"Dad, mom wants you to come up, the guests are coming soon!" Trunks yelled down.

"What? Guests? The woman never said there would be guests!" he said. "Tell her I'll be up after I'm done scheming- I mean cleaning up! Go! NOW OR YOU'RE GROUNDED!" Trunks ran up the stairs.

"Now, how will I make the food all mine?" Vegeta asked out loud. "Aha! I've got a few plans..."

The doorbell rang and Vegeta answered it. "Come on in Kakarott!" he said.

Goku entered cautiously, seeing as Vegeta being nice was not a good sign. Then he saw a penny lying on the ground. "Hey, a penny!" Goku bent down to pick it up just as a giant swinging axe flew by right where his head was the second before. Goku stopped in mid-picking up when he heard the swoosh. He looked up to see Vegeta walking away.

"Tell the woman I'll be in the basement!" he snapped and went down the stairs.

Vegeta walked up to a chalkboard and crossed off a plan. "Time for plan B," he said in a menacing tone as he turned to another chalkboard. He was going over the plan to himself for a third time when he decided to set up the trap.

A few minutes later the doorbell rang again. Vegeta answered it. It was Krillen. Krillen walked in, passed the axe which Vegeta hadn't taken down and into the kitchen.

Krillen was about to sit in the chair Vegeta had put glue on and had glued to the floor when he remembered he forgot to put his coat away. He walked back to the front hall. "Damn!" Vegeta snarled before sitting down. "I need to do plan C now!" He tried to stand but his pants were ripped off since he sat in the glue. Krillen walked back in and fainted (Vegeta was commando).

Vegeta looked at plan C board. That one wasn't one of his favourites, but he liked it enough.

Goku sat in his chair. Vegeta snickered and walked up to him. "Kakarott, I'll give you this top quality drink if you give me ten bucks!" he said shaking the glass of Kool-aid in front of Goku's face.

"Vegeta...that's Kool-aid," Goku said.

"Uh... orange Kool-aid!" Goku gave him a ten and gulped it down. He let out a deafening belch that kept going on and on.

Goku took out a pad of paper and wrote something down. He showed it to Vegeta. "How long does this last?" it said.

"Until you faint," Vegeta said.

Goku burped then sneezed. "Hey, that stopped it, yay!"

Vegeta cursed. "I'll be in the basement."

He went to the plan D board. "I did like this best..." he said before laughing maniacally. Then he got tired of that and began watching AFV until the time the plan could be done happened.

He looked at the time and realized that he should have started setting it up a half hour ago. Vegeta snuck to the turkey and put a drop of something he made on Krillen and Goku's pieces. He snickered and Bulma walked in. "What're you doing?" she asked.

"Oh, me? I'm just... uh... trying to find the biggest piece! Yeah, that's it!"

Bulma smiled and gave him one. He realized it was a pranked one and decided to give it to Goku. "DINNER!" she yelled through the house. Everyone came in, AKA, Goku, Trunks and Krillen.

"Now let's decide who gets what piece," Bulma said.

Vegeta was impatient so he gave Goku his piece, Krillin the prank piece, Bulma a normal piece, and took the remaining. He ate his in one gulp. Krillen began eating his and Goku ate his in one bite too.

Vegeta began to snicker when he realized that it was very hot. Everything was very far away, and he felt like he was in the air. He was flying through space, blowing up planets that looked like Goku. He soon opened his eyes and realized he was lying on the floor with hisentire hands up his nostrils, touching his brain. He painfully pulled them out and Trunks did the same, who got the other pranked piece.

"Uh, what the heck?" Goku said out loud.

Vegeta stood up and brushed himself off for no reason. "I'll be in the basement," he said before walking down the secret stairs that were behind the fridge, that only he knew about.

Vegeta crossed out plan D and went to plan E. "Well, It seems this is nessesary," he said. Vegeta took out a chainsaw. He walked right under where the table was. Everyone went to the living room, and they left the turkey on one plate. He sawed a hole that was under the tablecloth, so non of them knew he was there.

Being careful (GASP!) not to alert them, Vegeta took out a squeaky toy turkey. He cut a hole in the table where the turkey was and lowered it to himself. Vegeta put the squeaky turkey where the real turkey was, and he went down with the real.

"I win this time!" he said before biting into the turkey statue they had put there. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! MY TOOTH!"

He went upstairs to go for a fly. He walked through the front hall when the axe came swinging down.

* * *

That's the thanksgiving special. There will be a Halloween one soon too. For now, It's just the Thanksgiving, then another chapter, then the Halloween. I'm already halfway done the next chapter, but for now, review! 


	11. Head on to the Fex!

The Fex is based on the Ex, which I don't own. Or the Simpsons. Or Superman. Or anything else, like "The Village". I invented the Fex, it isn't real, but the Ex is. It's in Toronto.

* * *

**Episode Eleven: Head on to the Fex!**

It was a very loud morning. Construction was going on right outside Vegeta's bedroom window. He was wondering what they were working on, because he kept hearing explosions and seeing tarmac fly. After the eighth explosion, he went beserk.

"THAT'S IT!" He broke through the window and started blasting at everything that moved. The construction workers ran away screaming as Vegeta started throwing traffic signs at them. One was a stop sign causing a car pile up at an intersection.

Trunks and Goten were watching T.V. while Vegeta and Goku fought. It was, of course, over the last peanut butter sandwich in the fridge. Trunks suggested that they fight over it in the GR.

They saw an ad to something called the Fex happening in Winnipeg, Canada. It was some kind of fair, with the logo "Head on to the Fex!". Goten and Trunks agreed to bug their dads until they took them.

Just then Goku and Vegeta walked in, sweating and bloody. "Kakarott, remind me never to take out a machete when I'm losing, okay?" Vegeta said.

"Agreed, it hurt damaging my hamstring," Goku said limping.

"Hey dad?" Goten and Trunks said in union. "Will you take us to the Fex?"

"No," Vegeta said grumpily getting an ice pack.

"Too busy," Goku said, also getting an ice pack.

"Will you take us to the Fex?"

"No."

"Will you take us to the Fex?"

"No."

-At dinner- (and they are still at Vegeta's house)

"Will you take us to the Fex?"

"No!" Vegeta and Goku said while raising a fork to their mouths.

"Will you take us to the Fex?"

"No!"

"Will you take-"

"No!"

-In the two bathrooms-

"Will you take us to the Fex?" Trunks and Goten asked while each standing at a door.

"NO!"

"Will you take us to the Fex?"

"NO YOU LITTLE RECORD PLAYERS!" Vegeta screamed.

-At the doors of the two bedrooms-

"Will ("NO!") you ("NO!") take ("NO! NO! NO!") us ("NO! NO! NO! NO!") to the-"

"IF KAKAROTT AND I SAY YES WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP AND _QUIT BUGGING US?_" Vegeta's voice was hoarce from the yelling.

"Yeah."

"Of course. So..."

"YES!"

-At the airport-

"Dad, why don't we just teleport there instead of using a plane?" Goten asked Goku.

"Because it would be odd if four people just appeared out of thin air," Goku said.

"Not after what I've seen," Ned Jonun (OC fromStrange Jobs 1 & 2), who was walking by, said.

"Besides, I want to watch a movie."

The four walked onto the airplane. 'I hope I don't sit beside Kakarott,' Vegeta thought. He sat down at a window seat and, to his misfortune, Goku sat beside him. Vegeta groaned and started hitting his head on the empty seat in front of him.

The plane took off and Goten took out a PSP. "Sorry, but we can't let you play that on a plane, it could interfer," the flight attendent said. Goten shrugged and turned it off. The plane began plumiting toward the ground. "TURN IT BACK ON! TURN IT ON!" Goten turned it on and the plane took a steady flight.

Vegeta looked out the window and saw a bird cleaning its wing on the plane's wing. It flew off and Superman flew on and burrowed his head in his armpit, as if cleaning it like that bird. Vegeta turned around and saw Goku pigging out. Vegeta began hitting his head again.

"Do you mind?" the person in that seat said.

Vegeta went to sleep so he wouldn't have to listen to anything. Superman flew out of the plane turbine with torn up clothes and started flapping his arms while flying.

Trunks sighed happily while getting a back massage. He had leaned his leather chair back to form a bedlike thing to get a backrub. He had somehow snuck into first class and gotten them to believe he was supposed to be in there. He slurped his jumbo chocolate milkshake and ate a few dill pickle chips. First class was heaven.

Goku was watching the movie "The Village". He was enjoying it so far. Even Vegeta was enjoying it. He likes any form of violence. When it was over, he fell asleep.

The plane landed in Winnipeg. Goku, Goten and Vegeta climbed out of the plane, and waited ten minutes for Trunks. He came out wearing a red robe lined with gold with a gold T on the heart he was slurping the milkshake. "Hello, I was just in first class," he said to them.

Goku rented a car and climbed into the driver's seat. "We're all gonna die," Trunks said.

"Kakarott, do you know how to drive this thing," Vegeta said while putting his seatbelt on.

"Of course I do!" Goku said. "Now, which one's gas and which is break?"

"That's the windshield wipers," Vegeta groaned putting his forehead in his left hand.

Goku fiddled with the stuff and taped the gas. He went backwards into a wire pole causing it to fall. The pole hit a gas truck which blew up causing the wires to burst into flame. They exploded causing every wire in the city to explode and catch on fire, meaning the power in the entire city was out. Goku gulped and began driving to the highway.

-Fifteen minutes later-

The four climbed out of the flaming pile of wreckage in a ditch that used to be a car. "So have you learned your lesson Kakarott?" Vegeta asked while brushing soot off of himself. "Don't challenge whoever cuts you off to a drag race!"

"Easy enough," Goku said. "So when do we get there? How far?"

Goten took out the map. "We passed it fourteen minutes ago," he said. "About three minutes before the drag race."

Goku made an "O" with his mouth. They walked back along the highway for a bit, as the person who won did a wheelie passed them several times, before going off the side of the highway causing an explosion and a, "No! This car cost a few thousands!"

They eventually saw the King's Gates (Yep. Definately based on the Ex). They went in and bought tickets. "What ride should we go on first?" Goku asked.

Trunks and Goten looked at each other and grinned.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGGG(gasp)AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG(pant)GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... ... ... ..."

Vegeta screamed his lungs off in the Scream-O-Whirl. When he got off he staggered over to some bushes and threw up in them for about five minutes. "Well, there goes his lunch," Goku said. When he finished, Vegeta turned around and took a step, when he slipped in the puke (five minutes people!) and fell face flat in other bushes where he was mauled by a badger.

Vegeta chose the next ride. He chose the ferris wheel, hoping for some relaxation. "Hey, why are there seatbelts and cages?" he asked when he was buckled in and the cage door close.

"This is called the Scream-o-Wheel for a reason," the person said before pushing the started button. The wheel went faster and faster until it was spinning so fast it looked like it was going backwards.

"WHY MUST THESE THINGS ALWAYS HAPPEN TO ME?" Vegeta screamed.

"Cheer up Vegeta!" Goku said, patting him on the back.

Bad idea.

"EVIL PUKE!" The other three cried at the same time as the puke hit the floor. They started blasting energy at it.

Even worse idea.

The blasts went through the floor and hit the centre of the wheel. It went off its holders and began to roll around the Fex, hitting various things and people. It took the staff twenty minutes to stop it (don't ask how).

"This was terrible," Vegeta said at their hotel.

"Well, we'll be here all week!" Goku said happily. Vegeta gave him a "YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS!" look.

-The next day-

The Fex employees were able to repair everything and it was ready for riding. Vegeta forced them to go on the "Relaxing River". "This will be relaxing," Vegeta said as they passed the sign. Just as they did, someone with a latter nailed a board over the word "Relaxing". It said "Rapid".

Vegeta sat back in his tube. Then he heard a rushing of water. He looked to see rapids. Vegeta began paddling backwards as hard as he could but it was too late. The water began to suck him down and he bounced off a wall. Vegeta screamed as he went over a small waterfall and splashed underwater for a split second.

Goten and Trunks were cheering and saying stuff like, "Is that all this has?" and "FASTER! FASTER!"

Goku was trying to see shapes in the clouds, not bothering to pay attention to the others.

Goku splashed Vegeta, who growled and began to splash back. They got into a splash fight and eventually began ramming each other and hitting others at them.

Ned, who was on his vacation, screamed his head off as he was hit at the other by Goku and Vegeta. Vegeta hit him so hard that he went flying off the tube. He began to swim back before screaming when Goku hit the tube so hard that it flew off the ride. He went over to grab something.

Goku and Vegeta began ramming each other before looking and screaming. There was a fifty foot waterfall! They screamed as they went over it, off their tubes and splashed into the pool at the end of the ride. Ned had also screamed and was under Goku, who didn't know he was keeping Ned from breathing.

Goten and Trunks cheered as they went over the fall. "Let's go again!" they both said to their parents, who glared at them.

Vegeta had unwillingly gone on the rollercoaster with the others. 'I hope it doesn't have loops...' he thought.

'I hope it has loops...' everyone else thought.

The rollercoaster rocketed forward at a fast speed. It turned upsidedown then rightsideup. It went over a loop and a loop in the loop! Vegeta was cursing everything, but it was going too fast for anyone to hear. However, eight towns away, a dog was almost deafened by his screams.

Goku was sitting behind Vegeta. After a jerk his head hit the back of Vegeta's... who threw up.

"EVIL PUKE!" Goten and Trunks screamed and started blasting it again. The blasts hit the wheel causing the cart to go flying off the track and into a lake, where it floated to the top.

"See? I told you filling it with natural gas would help," one employee said.

"I still don't see how that floats," another said.

They went for a lunch break. Vegeta had nothing, claiming "It will just be 'evil puke' and cause another diaster."

So, they went on a ride they were ensured that Vegeta wouldn't throw up on. A huge slide.

Trunks jumped down, then Goten, then Vegeta (reluctently) and lastly, Goku. Vegeta hit a sharp turn and did a loop around the tunnel a few times. "I don't feel too good..." Vegeta said. He slowed down in the tunnel, only to be hit by Goku.

That made him puke.

Goten and Trunks turned around and saw the puke. "EVIL PUKE!" They began shooting at it, which broke the slide in half. The tower and uper half of the slide began swaying and fell over, hit the wheel, which went flying and cut the rollercoaster in half before falling into the rapid river. Then, for no reason, the cotton candy stall exploded and the entire fair caught on fire. Trunks and Goten came out the bottom of the slide and saw the damage.

Goku and Vegeta ran by them and grabbed them, but continued running. Trunks looked behind them and saw an angry mob with pitchforks and torches. They screamed and ran for their lives.

Vegeta hijacked a car and began driving furiously into a plane which began flying.

"That was close," Goku said.

"So where is this plane going?" Goten asked the flight attendent.

"The Bermuda Triangle."

* * *

That ends the adventure at the Fex. Hope you enjoyed, review! 


	12. Halloween Special

The Halloween special comes at last! Okay, I've made it a bit early, but who cares?

This chapter will have as many little Halloween things I can think of. Seeing as I'm probably goingto put a lot of stuff, I own nothing except OCs, and things I made up. Now, on to the chapter!

Note: This is only1423 words, believe it or not.

* * *

**Episode Twelve: Halloween Special**

_Trick or Treat!_

Vegeta was lying on the couch watching AFV (which, since I've put him watching it so many times, I'm calling his favourite show) as usual, when Trunks jumped up onto his stomach.

"Why don't you jump on your bed instead?"

"Because I want to know if you could take me costume shopping," Trunks replied.

"Huh? Why?" Vegeta asked cluelessly.

"Hal-lo-ween!"

"Oh, alright. Tomorrow," Vegeta said.

"But Halloween's tonight!"

"What? Then why didn't you ask last week?"

-Flashback--October 18th-

"Dad, can you take me costume shopping for Halloween?" Trunks asked Vegeta who was in the GR.

"Sure, remind me later," Vegeta, who didn't even listen, said.

-Not flashback-

"I was training!"

-Flashback--October 22nd-

"Dad, can you-"

"Sure, sure, whatever," Vegeta, who was watching AFV, said.

-Not flashback-

"It was AFV," Vegeta said, crossing his arms.

"What about..."

-Flashback--October 29th-

Vegeta was walking around the house, doing nothing.

"Dad, will you take me Halloween costume shopping?"

"Sure, tomorrow," Vegeta, who once again didn't listen, said.

-Not Flashback-

Vegeta grumbled. He had no excuse for that last reminder. "Fine, we'll go at 3:30, and that's my final offer!" Vegeta added when Trunks opened his mouth to protest against the time. Trunks closed it and nodded.

At Zehrs, Trunks wasn't interested in anything they had in stock. "Oh come on, you drag me here, away from the AFV marathon, and you're not inerested in anything?" Vegeta whined.

"They just don't have anything I like," Trunks said. "I like evil stuff."

'And that comes from someone who watches Catscratch?' Vegeta thought.

They went back home and Trunks decided to go as himself, which was pretty weird. Vegeta was forced to go with him, for some strange reason. Before they went,their doorbell rang. Vegeta answered it.

"Trick or treat," the people said.

"I'll take the treat," Vegeta said before taking their bags and slamming the door.

Trunks and Vegeta went to many houses, most of which gave too little and Vegeta theatened to blow their houses up unless they gave Trunks more. After a long night filled with threatening, fighting and blowing up planets, they went home.

_Gansel and Petal_

Goten woke up one morning. "I feel like walking through the really really really erie woods that no one's ever come out of today," he said, for some strange reason.

After breakfast, Goten walked into the woods casually. He walked until the trees were black and dying. "This place is nice," he said.

Then he saw Pan walking around in the bushes. "Pan? What are you doing here?" Goten asked.

"I'm looking for the pet cobra I've had for eight years," she said.

Goten looked behind his foot and saw a snake skeleton. He quickly kicked it into the bushes. "I think I see it," Goten said and picked up a random cobra. "Here it is!"

_Let go of me! _Dofkah the cobra said.

"Now how do we get out of here?" Pan asked.

_Fly? _Dofkah said in an obvious tone.

"Let's walk," Goten said. "I think it's that way."

_Moron._

They walked the way he pointed. Pan put the snake in her pocket. The trees were getting more dead as they walked deeper into into the forest. Every once and a while Dofkah kept telling them they were going the wrong way, but they didn't understand snake. Goku was in charge of that.

Then Goten saw a house in the middle of the forest. It was made of glass and deers. "What the?" Pan said.

"Let's check it out!" Goten said and ran toward it.

_I'm outta here! _Dofkah tried to jump out of Pan's pocket but she grabbed him and put him back in. The snake groaned.

-At Goku's house-

"Goku, where's Goten?" Chichi asked him.

"I don't know."

"And Gohan said Pan went into the forest, and hasn't come back," she added. "I want you to go look for them."

"But Teletubbies is almost ov- I mean Simpson is almost over," Goku said. Chichi glared at him. "Oh, alright."

-Back in the forest-

Goten knocked on the door. He heard walking and a witch-like person opened the door. "Come on in," she said.

Pan and Goten walked in. _Tell me, what negative is your IQ? _Dofkah asked, knowing they couldn't hear him anyway, so it was pointless to ask.

-15 minutes later-

Pan was locked in a tiny bird cage and Goten was chained to a spot with tons of food around him.

_You know, this is _exactly _what I expected to happen, _Dofkah said. _Funny, isn't it?_

Goten was getting hungry and started to eat. "Yes, eat up," the person said.

"This is probably why you have no friends," Pan said.

"Hey, I have a boyfriend!" she said.

"Oh really?" Goten said.

"Yes he's Mike... ... ...Doorframe!"

Pan snorted. "Yeah, right."

Just then Goku walked through the wall. "Haven't seen this place before," he said.

"That took forever to make!" the witch said before turning Goku's feet into hooves. Then his arms into flippers, his head into a fish and gave him a tail. (Kinda what the person did to Homer on the Simpsons.)

"So you wanna fight?" Goku said before stopping his hooves. He kicked the witch out the window, and for some reason down a hill.

There was a knock on the door. Goten answered it. "Hi, I'm Mike Doorframe, is Sue here?" the person said.

_Zombies._

Everyone was sleeping happily. Goku was on the floor, (he fell out of his bed) Vegeta was on the couch (he fought with Bulma) (Fee: Haha sucker; Cir: Shut up!) and Trunks was practicing black magic (Fee: What?). I'm not sure how's that's sleeping, but he found a really cool spell and silently walked down to Vegeta. He wispered something and Vegeta's skin turned pink. He was about to walk away, but he grabbed Vegeta's finger and put it up his nose. Trunks snickered at the sight.

Vegeta woke up and poured himself some coffee. He looked in the fridge mirror, put some coffee in his mouth and spat it out. "WOMAN!"

Bulma fell out of bed. "He'll be sleeping down there for weeks!" she mumbled, but decided to check out what happened.

Trunks looked at another spell on the computer. "Yaba yaba, bring up creatures that feed on life, Peter Griffen hanging on a clothes line," he read. "Weird."

Just then a vampire burst out of the closet. he knew it was a vampire since its teeth were threefeet long. "Hello, I'm Sir Vampire the IV," the vampire said, shaking his hand. "Sorry about bursting through that door, but I was brought to life in a dirty laundry basket."

"Guess that explains it," Trunks said. "Let's look at more spells!" They walked to the computer and the vampire walked into the sunlight.

"I'm a daytime vampire," he said.

"Let's do this! Enil sehtolc a no gnignah neffirg retep, efil no deef taht serutaerc pu gnirb, abay abay." Nothing happened. "Dang!" Trunks turned around and saw a skull where the vampire was. "Double dang!" He looked back on the computer screen. "Was this the one? Zombie zombie zombie zombie, zombieeee, zombie, vampire crotch face."

He looked out the window and saw zombies climbing out of the ground. "Holy puke!" he said. "That was an unexpected outcome!"

A zombie walked up to Goku. "Hi!" Goku said. "Do I know you?"

"Die!" the zombie Freiza said.

Goku walked right through it (literally!), and the zombie Freiza died.

Trunks went to his computer. "Aha! The counter spell!" he said before the cat walked in and ate his computer and hard-drive. Trunks twitched, not just because a 15 centimetre tall cat ate a large computer. So, he went with the old way...

BRUTE FORCE!.!.!

Trunks went out and destroyed every last zombie, and Vegeta was still trying to turn his skin back. He decided to freeze the skin and hit it with a hammer, which, surprisingly, worked!

* * *

... ... ... ... What the heck was that? 

Goku: A line?

Cir: Oh ya, now that I have nothing to say, review!


	13. Don't Overfeed the Plant II

That's right, "Don't Overfeed the Plant!" has a sequel! And it won't just have this one! Just like "Vegeta's Answering Machine". But now, here's the chapter!

I don't own the shoulder song.

* * *

**Chapter Thirteen: Don't Overfeed the Plant! II**

Goku was mourning the loss of his plant. He made it a shrine in the garden, which Chichi wasn't happy about.

Goten was looking at the river they threw the plant in out the window. It was acting very strange, having vines and the plant's head poking out of it. "I wonder what's going on with it?" he asked out loud.

"I dunno," Trunks, who hid in their chimney everytime Vegeta "borrowed" Goku's flamethrower.But that time it was much worse.

-At Vegeta's house--The bathroom-

"Shavin' my shoulders,  
Shaving all the extra hair!"

-Back with Goten and Trunks-

"Maybe we shood check it out."

"Okay, go ahead," Goten said.

"Why can't you?"

"Are you nuts? I want to live!" When he saw the annoyed look on Trunks' face, Goten added, "And it was your idea!"

Trunks sighed. "Fine." He flew down over to the river. Trunks landed beside it and threw a rock in it, which conked off someting. Vines grabbed a bigger rock and conked it off Trunks' head.

"Hey!" He threw another rock, only to be hit again.

Trunks began blasting into the water, only to have a few vines smack him. Trunks got really mad and ran to a mountain. He picked it up and threw in at the river.

The plant's head surfaced and saw the mountain. It screamed and ran toward Goku's house. It stuck itself into the ground and made itself look like a normal plant, just as Goku walked outside.

"Hey, my plant!" Goku said. He cheered and went to tell everyone.

-3 hours later-

Goku had the plant back in a pot and put a lot of plant food in the pot. He left the room and the plant ate the food.Goten and Trunks were watching the plant from the stairs.

"We can't destroy it right while dad's not there!" Goten said and Trunks gave him a weird look. "I mean while he's right there!"

"For now, let's order pizza." So they went and ordered some pizza. After a while, they were done. "Now what?"

Goten shrugged. "We could come down here at night and kill it."

"If you had an idea, then why'd you shrug?" Trunks asked, and Goten shrugged again. "Stop shrugging!"

Goten shrugged. "Okay."

-Later that night-

Goten and Trunks snuck down in black, even though Gohan saw them, but didn't want to know. Trunks pulled out the weed killer. He shook it up and aimed it at the sleeping plant. He sprayed, but the plant just grunted in its sleep.

"What now?" Goten said loudly.

"Shhh!.!"

"WHAT?"

"SHUT UP!" Trunks yelled.

"WHY?" Goten yelled also.

"YOU'LL WAKE IT UP!"

"I'LL WHAT?"

"YOU'LL WAKE IT-" The plant growled at them. "-up..."

It threw some dirt at them and hopped on them, then went back to sleep.

(Morning)

Goku walked downstairs and saw the plant on them. "What the?"

"Long story short, it jumped on us," Trunks said.

"I told it not to do that!" Goku said. "Get off them!" The plant sighed and hopped back to its original spot.

"You knew it was alive?" Goten asked in amazed tone.

"Well duh, only a really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really (gasp) really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really lly really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really (deep breath) really really really really really really stupid moron wouldn't know that!" he said.

"How many really's was that?" Goten asked.

Goku looked up and started counting two paragraphs behind him. "87 and a half!" he said. (He says "lly" once)

The plant ate Goten. Goku glared at it. The plant began hopping for its life when Goten squeezed out its ear. The plant fell over and rolled out the door, down the road, passed mountains and into a canyon. It made one of those cartoonie falling noises and hit the ground in a puff of smoke.

"That was weird," Trunks said.

"And gross!" Goten said. "When was the last time that thing used a cue-tip?"

"The important thing is that no one was hurt," Trunks said.

-Under the plant-

Piccolo crawled out from underneath the plant. "That hurt!"

The plant looked at him. 'And it's about to get worse!' it thought evily.

* * *

And there's another chapter of "Way of Life, in a Way..."! And you haven't seen the last of the plant-that-Goku-overfed-so-much-that-it-became-carnivourous-and-alive!

How about a little preview from "Don't Overfeed the Plant! 3"?

* * *

Goku turned his back from his dinner. The plant quickly devoured everything on the table. Goku turned back around to see the empty plates and he glared at the plant, which smiled innocently.

"We should get rid of that thing," Gotne said.

"But I like it!" Goku said in a pouting tone.

* * *

Review!


	14. Cell Phone of Horror

I actually don't have anything to say in this author note, now that it's against the rules to reply to reviews in the author note. Well, I'll go right to the chapter.

* * *

**Episode Thirteen: Cell Phone of Horror**

Vegeta was training in the GR. The only technology he seemed to use was the T.V., the GR, the waffle iron, and the killer robots. Bulma wanted him to use more, so she bought him a cell phone.

"What is it?" he asked when he got it.

"A cell phone," Bulma answered. "Stop shaking it!"

Vegeta grumbled and threw the cell phone in his cup of coffee. Bulma glared at him, so Vegeta went upstairs. Bulma heard a splash and Trunks scream. "What did you do?" she asked when he went back down.

"Trunks was having a bath, and I dropped that cell and an orb of static electricity in the bath."

Half an hour later, Trunks walked down the stairs with his hair looking like a ball of spikes. He glared at Vegeta then mumbled that he would spend the next six days at Goten's place. "It's probably how long that cell phone will last," he added.

-The 2nd day-

Bulma was happily relaxing, when the phone rang. She picked it up. "Hello?"

"Woman, I think I've learned how to use this thing!" he said.

"Look, Vegeta, you're in the room beside me, you could tell me that way," she said.

"But this is fun!"

Bulma hung up and went back to whatever she was doing when the phone rang again. "Hello?"

"Let me get this straight. You ordered ten **_THOUSAND _**boxes of pizza, two hundred milkshakes, fifteen thousand pretsels and a pack of curly fries?" whoever was on the other end said.

Bulma hung up. "VEGETA?"

The phone rang again. "Yes?" Vegeta said on the other end.

"Did you order a whole lot of something?" she demanded. Bulma waited a second.

"I'm gonna put you on hold," Vegeta said. Then he started singing.

"It is my favourite time of year,  
Those days I can drink beer!  
So one day I got drunk,  
And started singing punk,  
Because my bed, was a bunk!"

-The 3rd day-

Vegeta was on the computer, surfing the internet, whenhe came onto Fanfiction. He read something then quickly called Bulma, who was across the hall. "Woman, I just found a website that writes about us! Some is about weird stuff, and this one I see right now is about waht I'm saying this very second!"

Bulma sighed. "That's nice Vegeta, but I found that out about three years ago. And did you say waht?"When there wasn't an answer,she hung up, then went back to more important stuff. But Vegeta called again.

"Woman, why didn't you tell me?" Vegeta asked. "Some of this stuff about me is just plain wrong!"

"I did tell you Vegeta," Bulma said, her teeth clenched. "Many...many...times!" Bulma slammed it on the reciever.

Vegeta rolled his eyes and began prank calling places like Goku's house. Goku got fed up and threw the phone out the window and it went over a cliff, where the plant smashed it.

Vegeta got bored of doing that, so he called all the restaurants he could think of, and told them to send about five hundred of everything to Goku's house. "I wish I could see the look on his fsce!" Vegeta said.

And the look on his face was very happy, since the cost was taken from Vegeta's credit card.

-The 4th day-

Vegeta put in 911 and Ed picked it up. "What is it?" Ed asked. "Are your pants on fire?"

Vegeta tried to immitate a voice. "This is Jack Sparrow-"

"Aren't you a made up character from 'Pirates of the Carribean'?" Derrek asked from another phone.

Vegeta thought of something. "I'm that guy who played him!" he said.

"And who was that?" Derrek asked.

"Johnny Depp!" Ed yelled. "I win! I win! Gimme some peanuts!"

-The 5th day-

Vegeta was busy thinking of what he could do with his cell phone as he trained in the GR. He called Bulma.

"Hello?"

"I need some lunch," Vegeta said. "Bring it to the GR."

Bulma sighed. "Why don't youjust come in and heat up some hot dogs?" she asked. "It takesonly two minutes away from your time!"

"Because if I lose two minutes, my entire scedual will be disrupted!" he said. "And if my scedual gets disrupted, then I'll get angry, and if I get angry, it'll be the apocalypes!"

"You don't have a scedual!" Bulma said. "All you do is eat, train, sleep, visit the moon and watch AFV!"

Vegeta was silent for a moment. "I'm gonna put you on hold.

"I like pizza,  
I like bagel,  
I like hot dog with mustard and beeeer!"

"I get the pic-"

But Vegeta kept singing. "I'll eat eggplant,  
I could even eat a baby deer.  
Lalalalalalalala,  
Who's that baby deer on the lawn-"

"SHUT UP!"

-The 6th day-

Vegeta took out the cell phone and called Bulma. "I'm hungry," he said. "Make me a grilled cheese sandwich."

Bulma sighed. "Vegeta, at the rate you use that cell phone, it will probably run out of minutes any time now," she said. "And I'm not making you a grilled cheese!"

Vegeta raised an eyebrow. "Minutes? Does this thing have a bomb in it or something?" he shook it.

"No Vegeta, minutes are-"

The phone went dead. Vegeta shook it and tried to put in the number again. A dumb idea of what happened popped into his head. "IT'S GONNA BLOW!" He ran to the stairs and threw it as hard as he could downfive stories.

Trunks walked in the front door in time to see the cell phone hit the ground and shatter into a million pieces. "I knew it," he said. Trunks whistled and some robotic vacuums came. They sucked up the pieces.

Bulma walked in. "What happened?" she asked.

"Dad's cell phone ran out of minutes, so he destroyed it, thinking it was a bomb."

"How would you know if you weren't here?" Bulma asked.

"Webcam."

* * *

And that is this chapter! Don't really have anything else to say. 


	15. Hitman

This chapter is like the last: completely pointless. If you need a plotline to like it, you probably won't have read this far.

For all you who like this, enjoy!

I obviously don't own Aragorn, or and other Lord of the Rings thing, Colonel Sanders, Elmo or the Simpsons.

* * *

**Episode Fifteen: Hitman**

Goku was happily snoring. He was dreaing his ususal. Mountains of food, Chocolate milk lakes, world domination, etc.

Then a raccoon bit him. Goku hit it out a window. "I hope it didn't have rabies," he said, rubbing his bit spot.

Goku ate some cereal, then flopped on the couch. Then the phone rang. "Hello?"

"Dad?" Gohan said. "Vegeta hired another hitman. And this isn't one that runs at you with a flail, yelling 'I'M A HITMAN COMING AFTER YOU!' He actually hid behind a bush when he saw me! Although he was wearing dark blue..."

Goku thought for a minute. "I better hire a hitman to hit that hitman, then one to get him to get rid of the evidence."

"That doesn't sound very smart..."

"Yeah, I better hit him too. Bye!" Goku hung up.

Goku walked downtown, which was about 400 kilometres away, meaning it was a long walk, and began putting posters around town, saying the following:

**HITMAN WANTED FOR REASONS TOO DIABOLICAL TO MENTION IN PUBLIC!  
**Hi, I need a Hitman to get another Hitman who's trying to hit me.  
Another Hitman is wanted to hit him.  
And I need another to hit him as well.  
If you are interested, call me.  
Don't know my number?  
Use the phonebook, it exists for a reason.  
Reward: $15.99, or a new toaster.  
_$Goku$  
_$$$$You$can$tell$that$I$like$money$signs$$$$

Goku waited a few hours, then the first guy arrived. "Hi, you here to register?" he asked.

"Yes, I am Colonel Sanders, want a bucket of chicken?" he asked.

Goku took a bucket from his hands, and then Colonel Sanders took another out of no where.

"So, before you hit someone, you need to pass my interview," Goku said. "Then you will all get your results in six to eight weeks."

"Why is it always six to eight?"

"Dunno. Now, what can you do to kill them?" Goku asked.

"Well, I can stab them with a butcher's knife, I can give him one of these buckets of poisoned chicken I pull from no where, (Goku looked up from his eaten bucket of chicken) and my favourite is to run them over with a bulldozer."

"Okay," Goku said after puking all the chicken back up, "do you have any experience in manslauter?"

"No..."

"That's all my questions. Check your mail in six to eight weeks. NEXT!"

Colonel Sanders left, and next up was Greg. "Greg, I haven't seen you in a while, ever since you were fired because of me and Vegeta discovering you hid a nuclear missile in the company basement!" Goku said in one breath.

Greg raised an eyebrow. "Yeah, but I'm done with nucs. So, what are the requirements for this hitman job you have?"

"It's not hitman, it's Hitman. With a capital," he added. "And you have to answer two questions. First, how can you kill them?"

Greg grinned evilly. "I can nuc them, give them a bucket of Colonel Sander's poisoned chicken and run them down with a moving van," he said. "I really like that first one!"

"Okay, do you have experience in manslauter?"

"Oh yeah! Where can I start? One time, this guy really pissed me off, so I took out a bazooka and-"

"I get the picture," Goku said. "You'll get your results in six to eight weeks, no sooner, no later. NEXT!"

Greg left, and Goku waited about ten minutes. When no one came, he went to make a hot dog. When he came back, two minutes later, there was a line-up. He sat down and called the first guy over. "So do you think you can be a Hitman?" Goku asked.

"No, I came to give you the pizza you ordered," the guy said, and he gave Goku the pizza and left.

Aragorn from Lord of the Rings sat down. "I'm here for the Hitman job," he said.

"Alright, first question Aragore. (Aragorn glared at him) How can you kill them?"

"First I want to know what type of toaster it is," Aragorn said.

"That model that's about thirty years old that they don't make anymore," Goku replied.

"I could use my sword, shoot them with an arrow and give them a bucket of Colonel Sander's poisoned chicken," Aragorn said.

"Have you got any experience in manslauter?" Goku asked, and Aragorn gave him a what-da-ya-think? look. (Aragorn has killed about 100 000 enemies in the movies) "Is that no?"

Aragorn showed him the Lord of the Rings movies. "So no?"

"**OF COURSE YOU NUMBSKULL!.!.!.!**" Aragorn yelled.

"Okay, you'll get your results in six to eight weeks, no sooner, no later. NEXT!" Aragorn left, and Grampa Simpson walked up to him.

"You here for the Hitman thing?" Goku asked.

"Well yeah, that's what my son told me to do," Grampa said.

"So how can you kill them?" he asked.

"Well, I'm not to good with that stuff, all I can really do is tell pointless stories that don't go anywhere, like the time I went to buy some bread, but I didn't have enough money in my wallet. So I went to the bank, but there was a robber, who pointed his gun at me. I got scared and ran to the coast and swam across the Atlantic, then back down to Brazil. I got lost in the Amazon, so I put a yellow bouncy ball in my ear, since I heard that that scares away animals. I walked out of the clump of trees beside of a pond, which I were fantisizing were the Atlantic and the Amazon. I still had the bouncy ball in my ear, which was important because no one bothered me, in fact they all backed away then ran. Then I found myself in Toronto, when I threw an apple at someone. The important thing was that the bouncy ball was still in my ear, meaning I could hear the swears and threats, but it also caused my nose to start bleeding. I went to the hospital, where I saw a little blob of ketchup called Elmo and ate him, and I was halled off to federal prison. But halfway, the van was blown up by a landmine so I picked up a hubcap and threw it like a frizbee into a warzone where the federal prison was. But I bought a few candles which I set up at various parts of my home. But I fell asleep on one and was set on fire. I had to go to the fifth story of the building and jump out a window into the swimming pool, where I found a weird drainpipe. It led into the sewers where I was attacked by a lot of zombies. Then I found a weird little water bottle that was labeled 'help message'. And since it was in a water bottle, I swallowed it. But I still hadn't got my groceries so I went to an old mine shaft. It collapsed and no one survived, not even me! Oh, and I can give thema bucket of Colonel Sander's poisoned chicken!" he finally finished.

Goku was asleep and drooling all over his notes (zooms in on notes to show nothing but terrible sketches of a polar bear). Then he snapped awake. "Ohyeahokay," he slobbered. "So do you have any experience in manslauter?"

"Well, does making people so bored that they killed themsleves count?" Grampa asked. "Or accidently leading my own WW2 tank over a cliff while leading them away from mines?"

Goku finished his polar bear. "Okay, you'll get your results in six to eight weeks, no sooner, no later," Goku said.

"But don't you need the seven Hitmen now?" Grampa asked.

"Two things: One, I only need three, and two, how come you're the only one who's asked?" Grampa shrugged and left. Goku was about to call the next one, when he saw that all the people in the line had shot themsleves from being too bored from Grampa's story. "I knew I should have locked the rifle shed..." Goku muttered.

Gohan walked up to him. "I hope you didn't take the Hitman thing seriously, Vegeta bet $100 that I couldn't convince you that there was a slightly good Hitman after you," he said.

"Well this has a valuable lesson," Goku said. He sat there, saying nothing.

"You don't know, do you?"

"No... Well, there's now nothing left to do."

-Six to eight months later-

Colonel Sanders got the results. "About time, I thought he said weeks, not months!" he said. He opened it and saw that Goku wrote:

_You have been hired as the first Hitman.  
$Goku$_

Greg got his results too. "Well he actually sent them!" he said. "I guess I'll have to eat my couch..."

-Flashback-

"If he actually sends it, I'll eat my couch!" Greg said after three months.

-End flashback-

_You're too obsessed with nucs.  
$$Goku$$_

Aragorn too got his results. "What do you know, he sent them!"

_You are hired as the second Hitman. You should get the toaster soon.  
$$$Goku$$$_

"Has he sent precious?" Gollum asked.

"I told you, Frodo threw it in a volcano!" Aragorn said. "And how'd you escape the cage?"

"These teeth are used for more then biting heads off fish!" Gollum said.

"Poor fish," Smeagol said.

"No one asked you!" Gollum snapped.

Grampa got his too.

_You are the third Hitman. Enclosed is a drawing of a polar bear.  
$$$$Goku$$$$_

"Yay! With that $15.99, I can finally throw green paper out to sea!" Grampa cheered.

Goku was eating lunch when Gohan came in. "Dad, Greg's aiming a nuc at our house. In fact, he just fired!"

**_KABOOOOOOOOOM!

* * *

_**

Well, that ends the Hitman chapter. This turned out much longer then expected. Well, review! 


	16. Great Uncle Jeffery

I, like many others, am doing a Christmas special! I know a lot of people don't celebrate Christmas, but I have absolutly no clue about any of the other things. So, here's the Way of Life, in a Way... Christmas special!

* * *

**Episode Sixteen: Christmas Special / Great-Uncle Jeffery**

Vegeta was sitting on the couch. It was around 2:00 am on December 25th. He was going to stay up all night to prove to all kids that Santa wasn't real. He was about to dose off when Vegeta heard a thud on the roof.

He grinned and turned on the fire. He also grabbed a scimtar out of no where and stepped closer. Something was climbing down the chimney. He shook it, shaking the entire building.

Trunks fell out the fire place. He rubbed his butt and glared at Vegeta. "I told you: DON'T LOCK THE DOOR WHILE I'M STILL OUTSIDE!" Trunks yelled.

"Keep it down!" an old guy with a beard said into the chimney before starting to climb back up. Vegeta grabbed the guy by the beard and pulled out a skinny old guy with a beard about three feet long and one of his eyes was darting around the room like Mad-Eye Moody's, except it was a normal eye.

"Great-Uncle Jeffery?" Trunks said questioningly. "What are you doing in our chimney?"

"I'm tryin' ta catch Chikpumbalarkpae," Jeffery said as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. "They wait in chimneys every December 20th to the 30th, waiting to steal a part of our brains!"

Trunks rolled his eyes. "I told you, _that was a movie!_"

Jeffery chuckled. "That's what the Chikpumbalarkpae people want you to think!" he said. "When they eat a part of your brain, they erase your memory!"

Trunks looked at Vegeta and mouthed "He's definately senile."

"I AM NOT A RUBBER CHICKEN!" Jeffery said angrily to Trunks. He flopped on the couch. "Thank you!" he said, taking the scimtar as though Vegeta had just offered it to him. "I could use a weapon. All I did was throw some little red sticks with wires sticking out of them."

Trunks and Vegeta jerked their heads toward the fire, and saw, to their horror, seven sticks of dynamite, each about to explode. Trunks grabbed the fire extinguisher and shot it at the fire.

-In the morning-

"Uncle Jefffery, will you go home?" Bulma asked Jeffery, who was still on the couch.

"Not until I catch the Chikpumbalarkpae!" Jeffery said in a concluding tone.

"But you've already ruined the present opening!" she said, gesturing to the sliced pieces of presents that he had cut up with Vegeta's scimtar.

"Not to mention he ATE MY SCIMTAR!" Vegeta yelled.

-Flashback-

Jeffery finished slicing all the presents. "Any Chikpumbalarkpae in those will be dead," he said. "I want peanut butter!" He scooped the peanut butter onto the scimtar and ate, not just the peanut butter, but the sword as well.

-Not flashback-

"That too," Bulma said. "And those eyes are really disturbing..."

Jeffery's normal eye was eying the chimney, but his screwed up eye was looking at the fridge, which was almost behind him. "Well what do you expect me to do with a blind eye?" he asked. "Get an eyepatch?"

"It wouldn't be as gross," Trunks muttered.

"I DON'T FEEL LIKE AN OMELETTE!" he said angrily to Trunks. Trunks rolled his eyes. Jeffery never used the hearing aid he gave him for his birthday eight years ago.

-Flashback-

"Happy Birthday to you, Happy Birthday to you..." the family was chanting.

But Vegeta was going: "You live in some poo, you look like garbage...and you smell like some too!" Bulma locked him in the car.

Jeffery opened Trunks's present. "Is this some kinda death ray?" he asked.

"No, it's a hearing aid," Trunks said.

"I knew it was chicken!"

-Not flashback-

Jeffery crossed his arms and glued his butt to the couch with super glue. Then the doorbell rang. Trunks answered it. "Hi Trunks," Goten said. "You left your yoyo at our house."

"But I don't have a yoyo," Trunks said. "Anyway, do you know how to convince senile old people to go home and that movie things aren't real?"

Goten smiled. "Who doesn't?" he asked. "I'll need a bag and something sharp."

-Half an hour later-

Goten had gone home and Jeffery was looking up the chimney with a flashlight he had set on fire to make a torch. "Aha!" he said suddenly. "I knew you were up there you Chikpumbalarkpae!" He grabbed a shotgun and fired up there. A dead raccoon fell. Jeffery looked around uncertainly. "At least I've ended your raccoon problem..."

"We never had a raccoon problem you senile old fool!" Vegeta said. He waslying on the couch,watching TV.

"Where's you get that gun?" Bulma asked.

"Found it on a workbench," Jeffery said. "Now where do you put the gun powder in?"

He began to pour gunpowder into the barrel and started pounding it down with a fire poker. "Did you say a workbench?" Bulma asked. "NO! THAT'S A-"

The shotgun exploded, covering Jeffery with ash. "-unstable prototype..."

Jeffery shook off the ash. "I'm going to the outhouse," he said, walking out the door.

"We don't have an outhouse..." Trunks muttered.

Vegeta stood up. "MY TOOL SHED! SENILE GUY, WAIT!" He ran after Jeffery.

Trunks sighed. "This sure was a very odd Christmas," he said.

"Christmas doesn't end for another fifteen hours," Bulma said. "Fifteen hours, forty eight minutes and fifty five seconds." She looked at her watch again. "Forty seven minutes!"

After three minutes, Vegeta came back in. "Where's Jeffery?" Bulma asked.

"I locked him in the shed," Vegeta said triumphantly. "I'll let him out when I feel like it. I don't think there's anything in there that can help him escape..." There was a gigantic crash and the roar of a motor. Vegeta put his forehead in his hands. "Why did I leave that steamroller from my movie in there?" he asked as it broke through the wall and drove passed him.

* * *

And that is the W.O.L.I.A.W. Christmas special! I hope you enjoyed it! Have a nice whatever holiday you celebrate and review! 


	17. Vegeta's Answering Machine B

Time for another one of Vegeta's answering machines! It doesn't have as many messages as it appears to...

* * *

**Episode Seventeen: Vegeta's Answering Machine B**

Vegeta woke upon January secondand went to the kitchen. He looked at the answering manhine and saw a flashing 143.

"HOLY CRAP!" Vegeta walked over and was about to press DELETE ALL when a passing robot pressed "listen" and left. Vegeta made a mental note to blow it up.

**143**

>Singing in the shower, singing in the shower- TRUNKS! GET THAT OUT OF HERE! (hear vase breaking)>

_Vegeta, you being sued by Sir Fred Gorchiboe for unlicensed healing. You must...eat my pudding? Who wrote this thing?_

**142**

>I'll get you eventually! I have a battleaxe!>

_Apple. Banana. Computer. Uranium. Photo. Maple syrup._

**141**

>DIE DIE DIE!>

_Vegeta, we from Shopper's are calling on your tab. You currently owe us $100 000 000 000.89 of Hershey bars. Pay now, you've owed that for months._

**140**

>DIE GANNON DIE! (he's playing Ocarina of Time)>

_This is Answering Machine Inc. You currently owe $5000 for the experimental answering machine this message is on. PAY NOW OR FACE OUR WRATH! MWAHAHAHAHAA!_

**139**

>If this is Shopper's, I sent you a check.>

_Yes, you did send us a check... for 15 cents!_

**138**

>Hello, if you leave so much as a cough on this then I'LL SKIN YOU ALIVE AND FEED YOUR SPLEEN TO MY PETDINOSAUR! Have a nice day, and I have caller ID, so you'll be dead in a few hours!>

_You did NOT vote Creakantredforgonasdertredas. As a result, I lost. We have sent five mercenaries to your house, as well as others who didn't vote me._

**137**

>Remember, I know where you live!>

_It's Jeffery, I was just wondering if you've caught any Chikpumbalarkpae resently, because I'm rewarding whoever has with $400 000! Even though my life savings is 43 cents..._

**136**

>I'll murder you for leaving a message! Unless you have some bite sized brownies...>

_This is Creakantredforgonasdertredas, AND YOU KILLED MY MERCENARIES! Those guys don't sell themselves cheap, it costs $83! And that's for seven hits! Oh, and I've sent the brownies in the mail._

**135**

>If this is Shopper's, then you aren't getting the money, no matter how much of a duodecillionaire I am! And that goes for you too Answering Machine Inc!>

_This is Answering Machine Inc, and you've forced us to sue you! We'll see you in court!_

**134**

>Answering Machine Inc, I'm not coming to court. My card says "Only goes to court from medical mess-ups"! So HA!>

_Hi Vegeta, it's Vegeta. I'm calling to remind you/me to feed the goldfish._

Vegeta looked over toward the fishbowl and saw a fish skeleton at the bottom. He whistled and pressed DELETE. However, that automatically played the rest.

**133**

>Do I have to make a different recording for each message or something? Wait, I'm doing that because I'm bored...>

_Hi, this is Yamcha-_

Vegeta pressed delete the milisecond after he heard the name.

**132**

>Sometimes I dream about pizza. Oh, and leave a message to sign your death wish.>

_I have taken something dear to you. Your Gravity Room! If you want to get it back you will have to follow clues. Your first clue is at the Superbowl, and-_ (time expires)

Vegeta put the GR back down in the backyard. He brushed his hands off. "Well, he won't be taking it anymore," he said. Cities away, the guy who took it was in the hospital. Vegeta went back to the answering machine. He, once again, went for DELETE ALL, but Bulma came down.

"Are you trying to delete everything on the answering machine again?" she asked.

"Well... um... you see..." He kept stuttering for a few seconds before running into the GR.

**131**

>Go on. Leave a message. I'm in a better mood, so you're the only one I won't kill.>

_Vegeta? It's Krillin. Do you have my pet lobster, because you were the last one here (coughstealingcough), and I don't know where he is. I'll call you back, 18's got dinner ready. It's... ... ... lobster?_

**130**

>Even if I'm right here, I won't talk to you, because Trunks still has the talk button broken! Now, to find him...>

_I... am... Chester... Douchenbagel... I... believe... you... know... my... friend... Jeffery... Could... you... tell... him... to... get... me... some... ice... cream...?_

**129**

>If you leave a message, you're screwed!>

_This is your last warning! Pay for the Hershey bars or we'll go Blockbuster to get the money!_

**128**

>If this is the Purell making place, then it wasn't me who took every free sample there was! Even though I clearly remember you saying that there are no free samples...>

_We've borrowed goons and ninjas to get the Hershey bar money. After we get it, we'll stop calling you._

**127**

>Those ninjas are too fast... oh! Um... Leave a message?>

_It's Goku, I'm inviting you guys to my New Years Eve party. We have chips, and water, and music, and turtle soup- OW! OW! OW ELVIS STOP BITING! OW! YOU'RE NOT A TURTLE ANYWAY, YOU'RE A TORTOISE-_ (time expires)

**126**

>Leave the message so that I can get on with my life!>

_This is Answering Machine Inc, and when you hear this message, KABOOM!_

The answering machine blew up in a tiny explosion that didn't even mark the wood it was on. Bulma walked away.

Vegeta poked his head through the door. He tip-toed inside and opened the fridge. "They won't even know that I stole the Christmas Turkey!" he laughed.

"Christmas was about a week ago," Trunks said. "It's January second. Oh, and your answering machine blew up," he added, jerking his head in that direction.

Vegeta shrugged. "I never liked it. I kept getting calls from weirdos and corperates."

"But it cost you $5000!"

Vegeta looked at him. "And you think I payed?" he asked.

Trunks walked over to the window. "No, but that would explain why there's a company army in our backyard," he said.

* * *

That is how Vegeta's second answering machine was destroyed. If anyone's wondering what the other 125 mesages were, most were badly planned prank calls. Anyway, time to say the important stuff: review! 


	18. Pirates of the Bahamas

I've watched "Pirates of the Caribbean" recently, and I've decided to make a little chapter like it. It isn't a parody, and that's why it isn't its own story. But enough of me talking, you aren't reading this to hear me talking. And if you are, then you're in the wrong place, go to my profile and SJ3.

**

* * *

Episode Eighteen: Pirates of the Bahamas: The Crew of the Black Earl**

Everyone was asleep. Goku was asleep. Krillin was asleep. Bulma was asleep. Trunks was getting a snack. Vegeta was awake. Goten was- Hey! Vegeta! You're supposed to be asleep!

"I know something is going to happen," Vegeta said.

No you don't!

"Yes I do!"

Don't!

"Do!"

_Don't!_

"_DO!_"

"WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP?" everyone yelled.

Sigh. Let's get to what was going to happen.

"I knew it!"

Be quiet. Anyway, some guys starting throwing eggs at Vegeta's window for taking their candy at Halloween. Vegeta looked at them. "They throw food at me, I throw food at them..."

He went to the fridge and grabbed some frozen sausage. He opened the door and threw one. It hit one right in the face and knocked them out. Vegeta laughed and chased them all the way back to their houses. Then he picked up a streetlight and threw it through the door.

"Take that!" he laughed then flew home when a light turned on.

-The morning-

The phone rang. Vegeta's eyes opened as if he was waiting for it. Bulma began getting up to answer it when Vegeta ran through the door and down the stairs.

Bulma arrived at the bottom to see Vegeta say "Wrong number." He pressed the OFF button. "It was the wrong number," he said. Bulma left the room.

Vegeta threw the phone out the window. The part of the cord just passed Bulma's view had been burnt off / blown off.

Vegeta didn't want another lawsuit, if he got one he would be sent to jail. Even though he could break out of Alcatraz if he wanted to. He only had one choice. Two if he felt like murder. But he like the first better.

The three were eating breakfast. "I have an announcement!" Vegeta said. The others kept eating. "LISTEN TO ME DAMMIT!" They looked at him.

"I just bought us a trip to the Bahamas!" he said.

"This isn't to avoid another lawsuit, is it?" Trunks asked.

"Um... maybe..."

Bulma rolled her eyes. "Remember how our last vacations ended?" She point to a picture of Vegeta chained to a tank's turret, beneath it was one with Trunks locked in an oven, beside that was one with Bulma tied to a pole surrounded by a pile of nitroglycerin that was about to explode with a bomb gagging her.

"I still don't know why you took a picture of those occasions," Vegeta said. "And I especially don't know why you made them so big and hung them there!The point is, this will be different! We'll be in a beachside hotel!"

"Alright, but if anything bad happens, then you have to actually _act _like you enjoy celebrating Trunks's next birthday!" Bulma said.

"Yeah yeah yeah! Let's just leave now, and go out the back door," Vegeta said when he looked through a security camera TV that showed a lawyer at the door.

-At the airport-

They were boarding the plane to the Bahamas. Vegeta sat down at a window seat with Bulma beside him. Trunks, once again, snuck into first class. "We'll need an ID," the guy at the first class door said.

"Here," Trunks said, handing an ID.

"Vegeta, eh? Okay Vegeta, this way." He led Trunks to his seat.

The plane took off. After about half an hour, the speakers came on. "Attention passengers, we're taking a short cut through Hurricane Xygenjo. Buckle your seat beats, and have a nice day."

"What's the big deal?" Vegeta asked no one, since everyone was panicking.

"We're going through a hurricane!" Bulma said.

"I know, this'll be fun!"

The plane was blown upside-down and was spinning around. It went up then jerked down. Everyone was screaming, but Trunks, Vegeta, and for some strange reason, Goku, were cheering.

The plane exited the hurricane and landed softly. Everyone ran out. After everyone was out, Trunks walked over the plane and tapped it. It fell apart and caught on fire.

-At the hotel-

Vegeta was watching America's Funniest Home Videos on TV. It ended, which made him bored. "I'm bored," Vegeta said.

"We didn't come here to be bored. Go swimming!" Bulma said.

"Do you know what's _in _that water?" Vegeta asked. "Jellyfish, sharks, sea snakes, you get the picture! I prefer the pool."

Bulma sighed. "Then check the guide," she said. "There has to be something on."

Vegeta began going to the guide when the remote's batteries died on a channel. "OH NO, THE DOCUMENTRY CHANNEL!" He began rapidly pressing anything, but the batteries were dead.

"Pirates were the terror of the seas," the TV said. "They were some of the richest people, and the evilest. However, most pirates died early, in battle."

Vegeta forgot all about changing the channel. "Rich, eh?" he said, stroking his chin.

Bulma got back and saw a note on the bed. "At the marina, Vegeta. I better see what he's doing."

At the marina, Bulma found Vegeta instantly. He was standing on top of a gigantic wooden ship with a mast. "Woman!" he yelled when he saw her. "Get up here!"

Bulma walked up the ramp and toward Vegeta. "What are you doing?" she demanded.

"I'm buying a pirate ship!" he said. "I'm going to be a Pirate of the Caribbean! Except in the Bahamas."

"And why do you want to do that?" she asked. "We have a house you know! And it isn't near a ocean!"

Vegeta laughed and took a black flag out of his pocket. "I'll fly here every morning," he said as he began flying to the crow's nest to attach the flag. "I'll be back by dinner too!"

"We're over a thousand miles away from home!"

"The author will take care of it," Vegeta said.

No I won't. You're on your own.

"On my own?" Vegeta said. "I'm never on my own!" He began hyperventilating and fell out of the crow's nest. He rubbed his butt and stood up. "Nice flag though, isn't it?"

"Um, Vegeta, pirates have a skull and crossbones on their flag," Bulma said.

"So?"

"You have a clown on yours."

Vegeta looked up and saw a clown. "He said it was skull on both sides!" Vegeta threw an energy ball which missed and hit halfway up the tower. It fell and Vegeta ran. It crashed onto the camera like on TV.

-Later-

Vegeta was sailing out in the ocean. Bulma hadn't wanted to come, so he forced Trunks to come. Vegeta steered it.

A second pirate ship pulled up beside him. "A newbie, arg?" the captain said.

"Yeah, you think you could give me some pointers?" Vegeta asked. "And who are you?"

"The name be Captain Greybeard," the pirate said proudly. "I had to change my name from Blondebeard since my beard turned grey when I got old, arrrg..."

"Terrible when that happens," Vegeta said.

"'Tis true," Cap. Greybeard said. "Me first pointer is to give yeself a pirate name. I used to be Joe Gorgy, and I was an accountant. Now I be the great Captain Greybeard!"

Vegeta thought for a moment. "How about Captain Carrothair?" Trunks suggested from a law chair, where he was playing with a rubex cube.

"Shut up or you're grounded!" Vegeta yelled. "What about Captain Anchorhead?"

Ctn Greybeard shrugged. "Be good enough. My second piece of advice is watch out for rock you could hit... like now!"

Vegeta / Ctn Anchorhead steered out of the way.

"Good," Ctn Greybeard said. "Next is to talk like ye're a pirate!"

"How?" Vegeta asked.

Greybeard shrugged. "Have bad grammar and say arg a lot...arrg," he said. "Lastly is to have your ship more advanced then it seems. For instance, this isn't wood, it's super reinforced steel painted. That pointer sticking out of the front has a plasma cannon in it. Our windows are triple plated plexiglass. And see those two windows on the back?" Vegeta nodded. "Those are actually nitro boosters! Call me if ye need more advice, me cell's number is on the back of the ship!" His ship sailed away.

Vegeta pulled a big hat out of no where and put it on. "Arrg, boy, get off yer lazy butt!" he said.

"No," Trunks said.

"I tr- I mean, me tried," Vegeta said. "Me thinks me sees our first target!" He tied the wheel to a post and climbed to the crow's nest. "Yes, that cruise ship should have a lot of loot!"

"Who are you talking to?" Trunks asked.

"No one in particular," Vegeta replied.

He steered closer then shot the cannons. They missed and hit between a pack of great white sharks, which began ramming the ship. Vegeta sighed and drove up close to the cruise and jumped on. "This be a raid!" he yelled.

-Later-

Vegeta was nursing his wounds with an ice pack. "Boy, remind me never to run into the kitchen while everyone in there is using a butcher's knife," he said.

"I don't think I will, it was too amusing to watch you get thrown down the laundry chute tied in chains and gagged with your hat after they were finished hurting you," Trunks said. He was still playing with that rubex cube.

Vegeta rolled his eyes while muttering threats under his breath. "Time to get back in character," he said. Vegeta put his ripped up hat on and started "Arrg"-ing every twenty seconds.

"Which direction shall we go ta get more loot?" Vegeta asked. Then he "Arrg"-ed.

"West," Trunks said.

"And why do ye think we should go west?" Vegeta / Anchorhead asked.

"Because if you use your eyes, then you'll see a beach," Trunks said. "Oh, and I suggest you move, another ship is firing at you."

Vegeta moved the ship and some cannon fire missed. A second ship pulled up to them. The captain had a hat with a yellow feather on it and he had three parrots on each shoulder.

"I am Captain Nice!" the captain said. "Do not let my name fool you, I am very brutal! This is a raid!"

"Two thing," Vegeta said, holding up two fingers. "One: We have nothing except orange juice. Two: I'll raid your ship instead."

Captain Nice laughed. "It is impossible to raid the Black Earl!" he said. "We are faster then any ship in the Atlantic!"

"Does yours have nitro boosters?" Vegeta asked.

"No, but-"

"Then Greybeard's is faster. Anyway, I'm already on your ship, and I'm winning!" Vegeta said. Actually, all the pirates had surrounded him, and their swords were pointed at various part of him. He "Arrg"-ed.

Vegeta took out the scimtar he had gotten out of Jeffery (Flashback shows him reaching down Jeffery's throat and pulling it out) and swung at Captain Nice. Since they were about fifteen metres apart, it didn't really do anything.

Captain Nice rolled his eyes. "Just kill him," he said.

"Parler!" Vegeta said. "You have to take me to your captain!"

"The captain is the one who took you anyway!" a pirate named Scumpy said. "I call slicing his crotch off!"

Seven other pirates groaned and lowered their swords. Since there were eight, Scumpy was the only one pointing his sword at Vegeta. Vegeta jumped and flew into the crow's nest. "You'll never get me now!" he yelled.

Captain Nice walked over there and started sawing it with a chainsaw. Vegeta jumped onto the plank. "Now you'll never get me!" All the other pirates began giving him weird looks. "Captain Nick-"

"NICE!"

"-I challenge you to a duel on the plank! Do you except, or are you a coward?" Vegeta added.

Nice thought for a second. "Alright. All you have is a scimtar."

"Ha, what could be better then a... stupid... worthless scimtar...?" Vegeta saw that he had two double bladed swords that were about a foot thick and sharp as a knife.

Nice swung at Vegeta who ducked and swung onto the bottom of the plank, where he started floating. 'If I swim under the ship, then I should be able to get to my ship, and flee like a coward,' he thought. 'Yeah, that'll work!'

Nice reached under and pulled Vegeta back up. "I'm going to kill you face to face!" Nice said. Nice swiped at Vegeta who dodged and stabbed at Nice. Nice caught it between his two swords and sent it flying backwards, where it landed beside Trunks.

Trunks picked it up and looked at the rubex cube. Wordlessly, he began to take it apart to put it back together how he wanted it.

Nice swung at Vegeta who tripped and fell down. Nice got ready to stab when Vegeta blasted him, which sent Nice flying northeast and out of sight. The crew stared at Vegeta. "Since Nick is now missing, does that mean I'm your captain now?"

-Back on Vegeta's ship-

The crewmen's names were Scumpy, Riff, Don, Dumpface, Brian, Ol' Stabby, Chip and Orange. There was also Lance the janitor.

"Meeting in the quarters at three thirty!" Vegeta yelled.

"It's four fifty four according to my watch!" Trunks yelled. He had finished with the rubex cube, though if shaken hard, then it would fall apart.

"Then Don, drop the anchor, we're having a meeting now!" Vegeta yelled.

"I'm the crow's nest man!" Don yelled. "Besides, Chip dropped the anchor half an hour ago when ye wanted to have a little chat with Greybeard!"

Vegeta ignored him and went to the quarters. They all followed, although Vegeta dragged Trunks who flopped on a bed to play PSP. "I've seen another cruise, which we should be able to raid," Vegeta said.

"No way!" all the crew said at once.

"Why not?" Vegeta asked. "It's only a defenseless cruise ship!"

"Cruise ships have the most people!" Stabby said. "I like stabbing!"

"As Stabby was saying," Chip began, "cruises have so many people, so it's easy to overpower you."

"Especially dad, they gagged him and threw him down a laundry chute," Trunks said without looking up, although he did grin.

"You're grounded!" Vegeta said to Trunks when they all laughed. "Anyway, if you don't want to raid a cruise, then what to you propose we raid? Hmm? A garbage can? A doghouse? A tanker ship? Well?"

"A tanker sounds good!" Riff said and the others muttered in agreement.

Lance walked down the stairs. "I was cleaning the poopdeck, when I saw another ship coming toward us. I waved to see if they were friendly, and one gave me the finger."

Dumpface stared at him. "The ship has a butt?" Brian hit him over the head with a rubex cube which shattered.

"HEY!" Trunks yelled and he kicked Brian in the stomach who lunged at him. Vegeta held Brian and it took the entire crew plus the janitor to hold Trunks. Then a cannonball was shot through the wall which landed on the cube's pieces.

"All hands on deck!" Vegeta yelled and all of the crew ran to their positions except Dumpface, who went on all fours.

"He said 'hands on deck'!" Dumpface said to Brian, who hit him.

Vegeta saw who the captain of the incoming ship was. "Who are you?" Vegeta asked, tilting his head.

"I'm almost-mayor Creakantredforgonasdertredas!" the captain said.

Vegeta stared. "Captain Creakyfloor?"

"NO! _CREAKANTREDFORGONASDERTREDAS!_" he yelled.

"The who and the what now?" Vegeta said tilting his head again.

Creakantredforgonasdertredas gave up teaching Vegeta his name. "Look, you didn't vote for me, you killed my mercenaries and I'm not blind, I saw you steal that pie!" Creaky guy said. "So, I've come to kill you." He took out a sword.

"Okay!" Vegeta said happily before, with his finger, he pushed Creaky guy into the water. "Let's go." Vegeta pulled his ship away and they left.

Creaky guy's crew made a monument to him before leaving. "I'M NOT DEAD!" he called after them. "This is great, just great. I'm about a hundred kilometres from any shore, no crew, and I expect at least eight water animals to be charging at me right now."

-At the marina-

"Okay guys," Vegeta began, "I'll be going back home now, since they've hopefully forgotten all about suing me."

"Dad, it's been a week," Trunks said. "I wouldn't be surprised if they sent the S.W.A.T. team after you."

Vegeta ignored him. "I'm leaving Scumpy in charge while I'm gone," he said. Then he whispered, "I'll try to sneak down here every once and a while."

-Later-

The plane arrived back at their place. Vegeta had "convinced" the pilot to land it at their house. When they were all in, Vegeta padlocked the front door and set up heat seeking sniper cannons on the roof. He had to quickly get inside because the cannons went for him when he stepped in front of one.

"I'd say this has been a fairly normal week," he said during dinner causing Bulma and Trunks to look at him.

"You bought a gigantic boat," Bulma said.

"Tried to escape a lawsuit," trunks added.

"Became a pirate."

"Got a crew-"

"Alright, so it wasn't normal!" Vegeta said. "Spoilsports..." he added under his breath.

"Oh, and you have mail Vegeta," Bulma said. "It's a postcard from France. Some guy named Captain Nice sent it. He says he'll hopefully see you real soon."

* * *

That, everyone, was Pirates of the Bahamas. I hope you enjoyed it, because it is now the longest chapter that I've ever writen. While I write the next one, review! 


	19. Trapping a Moron

And now, it's time for another chapter.

Fee: And i thought of the idea :)

Cir: I was getting to that. Anyway, she just saved me some writing time. _Now _for the chapter.

* * *

**Episode Nineteen: Trapping a Moron**

Vegeta was sleeping soundly. His snoring was keeping the house awake, though. Bulma tried to put his leather pirate hat in his mouth, but he was dreaming about a giant ice cream sundae and he started sleep-eating. Bulma rolled her eyes and decided to sleep on the couch in the soundproof room with earmuffs.

Vegeta heard a tiny click and his eyes shot open. He picked up a sniper rifle, and went downstairs to find a window that he had made sure was closed open.

-Flashback-

Vegeta was watching AFV when Bulma closed a window behind him. when the show was over, he left without even looking at the window.

-End flashback-

"Come out from behind whatever, intruders," Vegeta said. "I won't hurt you..." He quickly threw the sniper rifle out the window where it was shot into nothing by the heat seeking sniper cannons Vegeta had set up on the roof last chapter.

Trunks turned on a light. "Dad, what are you doing?" he asked.

"Must be tryin' ta catch Chikpumbalarkpae," Jeffery said from the chimney. "Aha! I have one! Oh, wait, it's a squirrel."

"I heard an intruder," Vegeta said. "It's the fourth night that hasn't been a dream!"

Trunks rolled his eyes. "You could have heard an animal," he said. "For some reason, Great-Uncle Jeffery has been training raccoons to open windows."

"It's Chikpumbalarkpae catching training!" Jeffery said from the chimney. They both ignored him.

Vegeta sighed. "But if it happens again I blast at sight, deal?" he said.

Trunks rolled his eyes again. "Alright."

The next morning, Goku teleported over. "Hey, Vegeta? Can I borrow that illegal experimental death ray you've been secretly working on and when I barged in on you working on it you told me not to tell anyone? I have a rodent problem," Goku said.

Vegeta's left eye twitched. "Ka...ka...ROTT!" he roared through clenched teeth. Goku did say that to Vegeta while Vegeta was on live TV. Don't ask why or what channel.

Vegeta chased Goku around the house, trying to throttle him. He flipped over the couch, broke the eighth floor and set the kitchen on fire during the chase. After seventeen minutes of unsuccessful attempts, he grabbed the steamroller from his moive which he had spraypainted "Crusher" on the side in fancy letters. It destroyed half the house. The camera people, which was still on, were watching. He chased Goku outside where he was forced to retreat by his ownsniper cannons.

"YOU HAVEN'T WON!" Vegeta yelled from the safety of his home. "YOU CAN NEVER ESCAPE ME! YOU HERE ME? **_NEVER! _**AFTER ALL, I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!"

"Yeah, can I borrow the death ray?" Goku asked again and Vegeta threw it at him.

Goku ran away as Vegeta began throwing energy balls at him. Vegeta finished by throwing the door which he later regreted since very persistant salesmen came by.

"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Vegeta yelled for the eighth time.

"But our computers are the best of the best!" the salesman on the right said for the eighth time also.

Vegeta went to the kitchen and the salesmen followed. Vegeta opened the secret compartment in the fridge and took out chains and gags. He tied them up, gagged them, and suspended them over a boiling pot of lava in his secret lair (which had an entrance behind the mirror in his bathroom). "Will you keep trying to sell me stuff?" Vegeta asked in the tone of a mental patient with anger issues driven too far.

The salesmen shook their head rapidly and Vegeta threw them down a garbage chute which led to a dumpster halfway across town. Vegeta dusted his hands off when he tasted something foul in his mouth. He pulled out a tiny piece of black material. "Is this leather?"

-The night-

Vegeta was lying awake, much to everyone in the house's pleasure. THen he heard it. A click that was quieter then he should have been able to hear. Vegeta bolted downstairs, overturning furniture in the dark.

He eventually arrived at the door, although he had woken up the house and probably alerted any intruder of his presense.

Vegeta continued to search around inthe dark, continuously crashing into stuff. After a few minutes, Trunks came down again and turned on a light. "Dad, why are you searching in the living room?" he asked.

"Because it's closest to the door, meaning the intruder is in here!" Vegeta snapped.

"Or, the intruder, if there is one, would have left by now, since you basically knocked the whole house over!" Trunks said.

-The next day-

Vegeta was outside, digging holesthat wereabout three inches deep all around the front yard. Bulma went out to see why he was digging up her lawn.

"For some traps!" Vegeta said happily before setting a thin metal disk in a hole and began to fill the hole up lightly.

"Is that a landmine?" Bulma asked.

Vegeta nodded and got a seven foot long bear trap in diametre and laid it in a hole before sprinkling some dirt over it to give some hiding and throwing grass seeds all over it. "I even have all these stuck in the ground thanks to a chain on the bottom!" he said.

Vegeta laid another landmine in a hole in the garden (below a window) and covered it lightly with dirt. He put a few more landmines and beartraps, and even laid a beartrap in front of their mailbox and a landmine on their driveway, which quickly blew up the car.

The mailman went to put some mail in their mailbox when a beartrap snapped up to his stomach. He screamed and tried to run, but was yanked off his feet by the chain.

"And how will you know where these are?" Bulma asked as she approached the screaming mailman with a hacksaw.

"Easy! I have a map!" He took a folded piece of paper out of his pocket and showed a map of the front yard with everything labelled. "Am I smart or what?" he asked before laying the map down beside him. It was on a landmine, so the map exploded.

"I'll have to go with 'what'," Trunks, who came out of nowhere, said.

Vegeta flew back toward the front door and Trunks was there already so he didn't have to do anything. When Bulma had finished freeing the mailman, she went into their neighbour's backyard and climbed over the fence to get to her lot. But Vegeta was planting mines and beartraps there too.

"Do you have a map that you WON'T blow up?" Bulma asked.

"No, I'm using my memory!" Vegeta said. "I never forget anything!" He blinked a few times. "Who're you?"

Trunks walked outside playing his PSP. He stepped on a beartrap and jumped up before it got him, his eyes still looking at the PSP. He kicked a rock onto the landmine in front of the hammock and the mine blew up. Trunks jumped in the hammock.

"How'd you know where everything was?" Vegeta asked.

"You nailed a map to the inside of the door, and you did the same for the front yard," Trunks replied.

-That night-

Vegeta heard it again. A tiny click. He tiptoed downstairs and flicked on the light. Trunks was sitting on the couch watching TV.

"Boy, have you heard any intruders?" he asked.

"Nope," Trunks said.

"Why do I keep hearing a click?" Vegeta yelled, which woke everyone up.

"Keep it down!" Jeffery yelled from the chimney. "That click is just this lightlight I got to help see in the chimney."

"Flashlight," Trunks corrected.

"Whatever, I turn it on at aroundeleven so that I can see the chimney. Although I think I'll give up, it's telling the Chikpumbalarkpae that I'm here," Jeffery said. He turned off the flashlight and started to climb back up the chimney.

"Chipoombi...whatever don't exist!" Vegeta said. "Now get out of the chimney, go back to wherever you live, so that I can actually sleep!"

"NOO!" everyone in the house screamed.

"And if there are no intruders, then why's the window opening itself?" Vegeta asked.

"I told you on Christmas," Trunks said. "Stop locking the front door while I'm outside, and I won't have to come in through the window!"

"AHA!" Jeffery yelled. "I DID IT! I CAUGHT AN ACTUAL CHIKPUMBALARKPAE!" He held out a little red creature about a foot high with claws and sharp teeth.

Vegeta rolled his eyes. "That isn't a Chimpanzeelabarker-whatever, it's a gremlin," he said. "Put it back."

Jeffery put the gremlin back and it hissed at him before climbing up the chimney.

-The next day-

Vegeta was heading out toward the GR in the backyard. He was halfway when he stepped in a beartrap. It snapped up to his stomach causing him to stagger backwards. The chain yanked Vegeta over so that his head his a beartrap and got caught in it. Vegeta rolled over onto a landmine which exploded. He was sent flying onto another beartrap with a landmine in it. The explosion sent his boot flying of so that it hit a sniper cannon that was on the roof. All the cannons began shooting at him until he wascovered in ash andtwitching violently on the ground.

"Boy, help me!" he said to Trunks, who was on the hammock playing PSP.

"If I call the ambulence then you'll never learn," Trunks said (Family Guy thing when Peter turned the staircase into a waterslide and asked Brian to help).

It took about half an hour for Vegeta to heal completely, in which he said was far too much time. He tried to go back to the GR, but the same thing happened, although with more mines. After five tries, he went to the roof and deactivated the sniper cannons, put signposts where the traps were hidden in the backyard and ate an egg salad sandwhich (I don't know why they call them that... there's no salad!).

"It looks like everything's been taken care of," Vegeta said.

-That night-

Goku was walking toward Vegeta's door. "I better return this death ray before he comes after me with that steamroller," he said to no one.

He was almost at the front door when he stepped on a small mound of dirt and heard a tiny click.

* * *

There is Vegeta's failed attempt at home security. If you want security and want to live, then don't try this. And Goku stepped on a landmine. I hoped you liked this new chapter, review! 


	20. MidStory Crisis

This chapter may be called "Mid-Story Crisis", but that doesn't mean that this is the exact middle, it's just an idea I got while I was eating breakfast. It's basically Vegeta's mid-life crisis.

* * *

**Episode Twenty: Mid-Story Crisis**

It was a boring day. Vegeta had nothing to do, so he was pacing around the house, not caring what, or who, he stepped on. After stepping on the cat seven times, he decided to train in the GR.

He had the gravity at 120, when Trunks knocked. "Dad, mom says dinner is ready," Trunks said. He opened the door to see Vegeta curled up in the middle, snoring sofly and sucking on his thumb. Wondering how many feet underground he'd be if Vegetaknew that Trunks saw his current possision, he turned around and ran.

About six hours later, Vegeta came in. "So, what's for dinner?" he asked, but found the kitchen empty. He went to the living room to find Trunks watching 'The Simpsons'. "Boy, where is everyone?" he asked.

"Well, it's about ten 'o'clock, so I'd say that mom's asleep, Grandma and Grandpa don't seem to be anywhere anymore and Great-Uncle Jeffery went home when he realised what day it is," Trunks said.

Vegeta sighed. "I thought I was asleep for fifteen minutes!" he said.

"Nope, six hours," Trunks said.

Vegeta made himself a grilled cheese and went upstairs.He tripped andthe cat jumped onto his head and started licking its paw. Vegeta tried to shake it off, but it scratched him. Vegeta yankedit off his head and locked it in a kitty-carrier before to bed.

He was trying to sleep, but a hair was tickling his nose. Vegeta turned on a lamp and grabbed the hair. He was about to blast it into oblivion, when he noticed the colour of the hair.

Gray.

Vegeta's eye twitched and he poked Bulma in the eye. She swatted his hand away. "What?"

"Woman!" he practically yelled. "I'm old! Look! A gray hair!" He waved it in her face, and it was caught in a breeze, blowing out the window. "I'm so old! I could die any second!" He took out a paper bag and began hyperventalating.

Bulma rolled over. "Vegeta, you're just having a mid-life crisis, go to sleep," she said.

Vegeta twitched violently. "A mid-life crisis?" he said quickly. "What's that? Is it natural? Will I die? AHHHH!" He jumped out the window and started rocking back and forth in the fetal position in the garden. Luckily, he was behind a bush, so no one who was taking a night time stroll would notice.

Vegeta sat there, rocking in the fetal position until dawn, when Bulma forced him to come back in. She forced him to eat a twelve course meal, hoping it would help end his crisis. All it seemed to do was make it worse.

"Okay, I'm unimaginably rich, so I should buy companies!" he said to no one. Vegeta was on the couch with no one in the same room. "Yes, lots and lots of companies!" He laughed evilly, then stopped. "That's not right..." He started laughing like there was a funny joke told, then stopped again. "Not that either..." He began laughing like a maniac. "That's better! (Series of Unfortuneate Events movie, deleted scenes) Young people always laugh like there'll be no tomorrow... right?" He continued laughing like a maniac for eighteen minutes.

-Later-

"I'm sorry, but none of Al Unchi's companies are for sale!" Al Unchi (Not even close to Al Gilliston) said. "Al Unchi owns about eight gun shops, a pawn shop, about four hundred bars, a peanut butter factory and much more, and he will never sell them!"

Vegeta rolled his eyes. "Well Al Unchi better stop talking in third person, or Vegeta will ripped him a new mouth in his stomach!" Vegeta said.

"Okay, I'll stop," Al said. "But none are for sale! Actually, I'll sell the peanut butter factory, but that's IT!"

"I'll buy it."

"Done."

Vegeta bought Al's peanut butter factory, Pizzazooro, the world's biggest zoo, a hot dog restaurant and a microwave company. But that still didn't end his mid-life crisis.

"I need more stuff!" he said before going into the fetal position and started sucking his thumb. It so happened that he did it right on the table of Bulma's month-long planned for dinner party. She locked him in their closet.

While in the closet, Vegeta decided to think of something. "What could I buy?" he asked while in the fetal position again. "The biggest thing _to_ buy would work. Jupiter! No, wait... last time I tried that they said it wasn't for sale... Earth! Yes..." He began laughing like a maniac again.

-At the United Nations-

"We're not selling France!" the France representative said.

"And we aren't selling Canada so stop asking!" the Canadian representative agreed.

"Or Japan! Esspecially not to someone who comes in twitching violently and sits in a corner in the fetal position for half an hour!" the Japanese representative said.

"Isn't there one country I could buy to end my mid-life crisis?" Vegeta asked before twitching violently.

"You could find an unclaimed piece of land and make it your own country," the Armenian representative said. "And how'd you get in here?"

"The doorman died," Vegeta said.

"No! He was my agent!" the USA representative said. (From Simpsons)

"But that's a great idea Egyptian guy!" Vegeta said.

"I'm from Armenia!"

"Why are you all talking the same language?" Vegeta asked, ignoring the Armenian.

"Hey, has anyone seen my Danish?" the Czech Republic representative asked. Vegeta remembered finding one earier and eating it, so he ran. "Oh, here it is!" the Czech representative said.

-An unclaimed land in the middle of the Pacific-

Three explorers were about to call the land Gumpjempia. "I call this-"

Vegeta interupted the explorer by pushing them off the island the size of Mexico with a bulldozer. When they were gone, he went to the centre of the island. "I'll call this... Vegetalgello!" he said. Then he pulled a flag out of no where, crossed out Stapler Country with a marker and wrote Vegetalgello.

Vegeta relocated the house (AKA picked it up with an army helicopter) to Vegetalgello. Vegeta was sitting in the backyard, or the clearing in front of a forest, in the fetal position, when he heard footsteps.

Vegeta got ready to blast at sight, and he went into the forest to see three people walkking by. "Hey!" he yelled. "What are you doing on Vegetalgello?"

They looked at him. "This place isn't Vegetalgello," one said. "It's name is Gokunagin!"

Vegeta's eye twitched. "GOKUnagin?.!" he said before twitching.

"Yes, it was founded some three days ago," another said.

"That's it!" Vegeta said. "Vegetalgello declares war on Gokunagin!"

The first one shrugged. "Okay, our population is three million." Vegeta twitched. The guy whistled and an army of three million appeared out of the forest. "This one guy is declaring war on all of us, so, ATTACK!"

They all took out machine guns and Vegeta ran over and lifted up the house. He threw it off into the distance and it landed right back where it origninally was.Except it wasfacing backwards.Then he blew up the island with a final flash. "Now no one gets it!" he said and began laughing maniacally. Then he stopped. "Crap, that means me too!"

-Later-

Vegeta was on the floor in the living room, still in the fetal position. His mid-life crisis had already last six days, and didn't seem to be going away. He had tried to go back to the UN, but the doorman had been replaced. He turned on the TV and Barney was on. He blasted the TV into pieces, then blasted those pieces into nothing.

The gray had that had started it all blew in through the window. "This is all your fault!" he said to the hair.

I _would _say that the first sign of insanity is talking to hair, but you're already insane.

"Hey!" Vegeta yelled. "I'm not insane! Just having a mid-life crisis!"

Next sign is talking to the author of what you're in.

"I hate you..." Vegeta left, taking the hair with him, planning to burn it in the oven, when Trunks walked in. "You came just in time to watch me burn the hair that started all this!" Vegeta said.

Trunks looked at the hair. "Dad, that's a cat hair," he said.

Vegeta thought, and remembered the gray cat jumping on his head the night he found the hair. "I'M GONNA THROTTLE THAT CAT!" He ran up to the third floor where the cat was licking its paws. He dove at it, but the cat moved. It hissed and jumped at his face, mauling any piece of flesh there was.

Vegeta staggered backwards and the cat jumped off his face the second Vegeta began falling down the stairs. He fell down three flights of stairs and landed in a crumpled heap at the bottom. The cat jumped on his head,made a mocking meow and left.

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So was that good enough to be considered a chapter? Next chapter will come out soon. Review! 


	21. The Birthday

This is a chapter about Vegeta's "birthday".

I haven't updated for a while since if you've checked my profile, I just published a 4000 word one-shot.

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**Episode Twenty One: The Birthday**

It was the night before February 1st, and everyone was waiting for the special night. Everyone was getting ready to see him, and none could wait to give their gifts. Their gifts contained their most treasured possessions, for he was like a god to them.

At least, that's what everything was like in Vegeta's head. February1st was his birthday, so he thought everyone was so impatient. But in reality, no one even remembered, they were all doing whatever they do at seven thirty.

He put Trunks and Bulma in the kitchen. "You two talk about tomorrow," he said. "I'll be on the other side of the house."

Vegeta went into his secret lair behind the bathroom window and went to the security room. He had put security cameras with microphones in average things in every room of the house. In the kitchen, it was in a fridge magnet.

"Now talk about what you're getting me!" he said to no one.

"Why'd dad want us to talk about tomorrow?" Trunks asked.

Bulma shrugged. "I can't think of anything tomorrow he'd be interested in," she replied.

"Drat! They know I've bugged the place!" Vegeta said, slamming his hands on the table. Vegeta left the lair and decided to play Packman.

Vegeta waited until they all went to bed before he got ready to check where they hid their gifts. First he went to Trunks's closet. "Let's see..." he whispered. Vegeta looked at the top shelf, and saw boxes. He resisted laughing and grabbed them all. Vegeta silently opened the first one. It had some of Trunks's board games.

He opened the next box, which had a few toys. He opened the next box, and saw gloves on top of a pile of stuff. "This must be it!" he whispered. Vegeta looked at his own gloves, which were dirty and had holes in them. He threw them into the box and put the new ones on before leaving. If he had _looked_ at the box, then he would have clearly seen WINTER STUFF written on it.

Next up, he went to the hall closet. He opened in and grabbed a box. The first was full of clothes that were too small. The second had more boxes. He opened those. More boxes. He opened even more, and there were more. (**Fee: you guys are meanies! Cir did that to me one birthday!.!** **erg..**)He opened ten boxes before he got to the last, which was... empty.

He mumbled something about a waste of cardboard then went to the next. The third had the same as the second. "Screw the closet," he said before turning around.

"NO, LET ME OUT!" shouted the... fourth... box...?

Vegeta stopped. "What the...?" He opened the fourth to see Fee curled in a ball.

"Ah, finally!" she said. "Fresh- What are you doing with that duct tape?.?" Before Fee could get an answer, Vegeta duct taped it shut and threw it in the back.

"OW! YOU F-" He slammed the door shut and smirked evilly. 'Much better,' he thought. (**Fee: bastard... Cir: Shut up already!**)

Next up was Trunks' room. "I feel like I've been here already..." Vegeta muttered. After he searched through Trunks' stuff _again_, he went on to the spare room. It was there that he found Great-Uncle Jeffery, searching around everything with a broom in his hand.

"What are you doing here cynile man?" Vegeta asked.

Jeffery looked at him. "I saw the sequel to _The Chikpumbalarkpae Attack_, it was called _The Chikpumbalarkpoe Attack_!" Jeffery said. "They hide in spare rooms, waiting to eat the brains of unsuspecting victims!"

Vegeta rolled his eyes. "That's nice, but have you seen any boxes?" he asked.

Jeffery thought. "Did I?" he asked. "Who're you? What is this place?"

Vegeta sighed and left the amnesia struck senior to hit random things with the broom.

Next he went to Bulma's room. She would wake up if he even breathed too loud, so he went as silent as possible. However, in the dark, he tripped over a stool, overturned a dresser, slipped and almost pulled the bedsheets off, and slammed the bedroom door shut. Bulma turned over and Vegeta shrugged.

He went into the top shelf of the closet and grabbed all the boxes. The first had photos and birth certificates, the second had Bulma's secret money stash (Vegeta made a mental note to buy a 100" x 100" TV for his room), the third had some of Trunks' broken Game Cubes, the fourth had nothing and the last had a portable TV.

"This is it!" Vegeta whipered, mentally laughing. He put the PTV in his pocket, then silently left (AKA, crashed into everything). Yet again, he failed to noticed VACATION STUFF was writen on the box.

He tried to sneak back to his lair, but got lost in his own house. He ended up back at Trunks' room for a third time. Vegeta shrugged and began to raid the room for a third time. After that, he finally got back to his evil lair. "Now I must put fakes back in the boxes!" he said, picking up a box then leaving the lair. Once again, he missed seeing VEGETA'S UNWASHED IN EIGHT YEARS SOCKS writen on the side.

Vegeta dumped half the box where he found the gloves, then the other half where he found the PTV. 'The perfect crime!' he thought.

'The worst crime ever,' one of the robots that was watching him thought.

After about fifteen minutes, he was in the evil lair behind the fridge (yeah, he has two. Vegeta: Just in case one's discovered!). He laughed and began watching as everyone got up and went to have breakfast. They were doing it how they normally did it.

"I'd say its time," he said, then went out the back exit, AKA beneath the bathtub. He went downstairs three times and ended up in the kitchin. "So, we having something special?" he asked.

"And why the heck is today specialler then usual?" Trunks asked.

Vegeta laughed his head off. "You crack me up," he said, wiping a non-existent tear from his eye. "So are we having pancakes? Or just plain cakes? Or just plain pans?"

"What the heck is a pan?" Bulma asked.

"Probably something involving Chikpumbalarkpoe!" Jeffery said from the living room. "So far I've blown up the ones living in your beds, TVs, chairs, every piece of money under the couch, and even the garage!"

"Let's all ignore cynile man!" Vegeta said. "Anyone know why today's so special? Hmm?"

Bulma and Trunks shook their heads. Vegeta sighed. "I know you know this, no need to keep it a secret."

"We're serious, we don't know!" Trunks said.

"IT'S MY BIRTHDAY DAMMIT!" Vegeta yelled.

They looked at him. "Your birthday isn't for a while," Bulma said. "Today's the _cat's _birthday!"

Vegeta's eye twitched. "Well, I feel like a moron," he said.

"Considering that you forgot the date of your own birthday, you should feel like an imbecile," Trunks said.

Vegeta glared at him. "Wait, if it isn't my birthday, then why did I find all these presents?"

* * *

That's all for now! Review!

* * *

_Here's a little after-author note. If you want to know what Fee was about to call Vegeta, read this:_

_Fee: no no. leave it a mystery mwahahahahaaa!_

_Cir: o.O_


	22. Rock Paper Scissors

I've been doing these chapters mainly about Vegeta lately, so this time I think I'll do it on something else. And as stupid as this sounds, I thought of this chapter idea during math class. Yes, math. However, it has nothing to do with math, so read on…

**

* * *

Episode Twenty two: Rock Paper Scissors**

Goku was bored out of his brains. He had nothing to do, so he went up to the lookout for no apparent reason at all.

He landed and saw Piccolo sitting on a chair, sun tanning. "Hey Piccolo! You know anything I could do?" he asked.

"Go jump in a lake," Piccolo replied and Goku flew away. Piccolo sighed and continued sun tanning until Goku came back, completely drenched.

"That good? Because it was fun!" he said.

"Do it again, except in a lake a lot farther away," Piccolo said. "Preferably on another planet."

"That got boring," Goku said, completely confusing Piccolo.

-Flashback-

"That good? Because it was fun!" he said.

-End flashback-

"Let's play rock paper scissors, I'm good at this!" Goku said.

Piccolo groaned and reluctantly nodded. "Just once," he said.

They both did something. Piccolo, not looking, did scissors and Goku did paper. Goku flinched. "You won!" he said happily. "I know something I could do now!" He grabbed Piccolo's wrist and teleported.

-Somewhere-

"Welcome to the Rock Paper Scissors World Championship!" Goku said, throwing his arms out to reveal the crowd that was signing up for it.

"They actually have a _championship _for this thing?" Piccolo asked. "What moron thought this up?"

"Sir Peppers the 4th," Goku said. "And I was the previous world champion, but since you beat me, you could win!" Piccolo rolled his eyes. "It isn't just choosing a random hand sign, there's calculating your opponent's move, and the thrill of knowing that one move could make or break your career!"

He turned around to see Piccolo gone. He teleported back to the lookout to see Piccolo sun tanning again. "Come on!" Goku begged.

"Goku, what makes you think that I would want to do this?" Piccolo asked without looking at him.

"There's a five million dollar reward!" Goku pointed out.

"Why would I need money?"

"I won't bug you for a year-"

"Done!"

-That night-

Goku was lying in bed when he shot up. "HOLY CRAP, WE FORGOT TO SIGN UP!"

-The next year-

They walked up to the desk. "We'd like to sign up for the rock paper scissors world championship," Goku said.

"That was two weeks ago."

-The next year-

Goku and Piccolo, who was still reluctant, were in the sign up line. "This year we'll sign up early!" Goku said happily.

"Early is an understatement seeing as the sign up starts Wednesday," Piccolo said and Goku looked at him in a confused look. "Today's Thursday… the one three weeks before sign up."

So three weeks later, they went to sign up. Once they got there, the guy put up a sign saying: No vacancies.

-The next year-

This time they actually signed up, both of them. "We're actually in!" Goku said. "So what did you spend your last three years doing?"

"I did what I usually do, sit around, meditate, sun tan, get forced by you to sign up late-"

Goku cut him off. "Well did you do anything _interesting_?" Piccolo glared at him. "That _I_ would find interesting?"

"Vegeta pissed me off so I blew the septic up while he was on the toilet," Piccolo said. "And I won an Oscar for a humourous documentary called: 'Dofkah ate my Gecko!', and- PUT THAT DOWN!" he yelled when he saw Goku scratching his butt with Piccolo's Oscar award.

-The next day-

Piccolo was preparing for his first competition, or should I say, reading the newspaper. "Why don't you stretch, I am," Goku said.

"Why are you stretching your leg for making a few hand signs?" Piccolo asked with…out looking… up?

"I need to keep my hands at max strength, so my legs need to be strong so that they don't waste energy on the walk there," Goku said.

"You're an imbecile," Piccolo muttered.

Piccolo had his first match against Sir Fred Gorchiboe. Piccolo was looking around at the ceiling when it started. Gorchiboe chose paper and Piccolo chose scissors.

"Round two!" the announcer said. Piccolo chose rock and Gorchiboe chose scissors. "And Piccolo wins!" Gorchiboe was carried away by guards who looked an awful lot like Star Wars Storm Troopers and Piccolo left.

Next in the competition was Krillin against Judge Carl (Vegeta's Guide to Healing) and Carl won the first, lost the second and won the third.

Then it was Goku against Cabrak. But since Cabrak had no fingers, there was a fifteen minute delay while the announcer tried to finger out what Cabrak was doing. In the end, Goku won by default. Then Vegeta was against Creakantredforgonasdertredas. Vegeta won by a long shot.

"Tell me, how come there were millions of people in sign up, yet eight people in the competition while there were no elimination rounds?" Piccolo asked.

"Well, most write their signature in printing, and they're shot," Goku said.

"Shot," Piccolo repeated in a tone that said that he thought Goku was severely exaggerating.

"Yep, what do you think they did with Gorchiboe, took him to a tea party?"

-Meanwhile-

Gorchiboe and the two Storm Troopers were drinking tea. "Can I go now?" Gorchiboe moaned.

"No!" ST 1 said. "Now drink!"

"But I'm allergic to tea…" Gorchiboe muttered.

"DRINK!" ST 2 said, taking out a sniper rifle.

-Later-

Piccolo was facing off against Judge Carl. Piccolo was lying in bed. "Your match starts in twelve seconds, get over there!" Goku said.

"But-"

"You have to!"

"Goku-"

"GO QUICKLY!"

"**_GOKU!_** Carl is sick, the match was cancelled, I won, now leave me alone, and how do you keep getting into my room?" Piccolo added.

"The door's broken," Goku said, pointed to the hole in the door that had Goku's shape. "Wanna play Tetris?"

Piccolo threw him out of the room headfirst where he collided with a water fountain that broke… and sent him rocketing backwards into Piccolo's room, crashing into the pickle-person himself. Piccolo threw Goku down the hall, where he was bounced back at Piccolo (who ducked sending Goku's head into an air vent) by a trampoline two guys were carrying by. "It's so hot!" Goku said and Piccolo slammed the door behind him.

After that was Goku against Vegeta. "Prepare to go down, Vegeta!" Goku said.

"I will win this, and finally get a worthwhile trophy!" Vegeta said.

-At Vegeta's house-

His trophy wall had a trophy of every single year of the Grouchy Award and Most Carrot-like Person award.

-At the championships-

"Three!" the announcer yelled. "Two! One! CHOOSE!"

Vegeta chose paper and Goku scissors. Vegeta killed a random bystander. The guy counted again and Goku chose scissors and Goku rock. Vegeta killed another guy. "Why'd you kill him?" Goku asked.

"Still taking out the anger of losing the first round," Vegeta replied.

"Reasonable," Goku said. They did the next round, and Goku did paper and Vegeta did-

-Somewhere else-

Krillin was climbing Mount Everest. He got about three quarters up and entered a cave. Some bats flew down and he ducked, causing his head to avoid the spears that came out of a wall that he had activated from pressing a switch. At the end of the cave there was a machine which Krillin kicked. "Stupid magic eight ball machine! You said I'd win!"

-Back at the championship-

Goku walked through a hole he had just made in Piccolo's wall. "Can you stop walking through stuff?" Piccolo yelled.

"But Vegeta beat me!" Goku said and locked himself in the bathroom.

Piccolo knocked. "What are you doing in there?" he snarled.

"Eating toothpaste," he said before gulping down some toothpaste. Then he coughed. "That toothpaste had a toothbrush attached to it!" Piccolo hit his head on the door, muttering.

-Later-

Piccolo wasn't even paying attention to the fact that he faced Vegeta in an hour, and was busy watching Family Guy.

"What are you doing?" Goku asked.

"Getting ready to super reinforce my walls," Piccolo muttered.

"You have to prepare to fight Vegeta!" Goku said.

Piccolo cracked his back. "Ready," he said before turning the volume up so loud that no one could hear Goku's words, not even me.

Goku, still trying to talk, threw his arms up in defeat and left.

After an hour, Piccolo went to the unreasonably large room which only had two chairs, a table, stands, and a balcony. Vegeta was already there.

"Time to pay for that toilet incident," Vegeta muttered to Piccolo.

"Great, can we get this over with?"

In the fist round, Piccolo did paper and Vegeta scissors. Vegeta laughed and Piccolo shrugged. In the second round, Piccolo did scissors and Vegeta did paper. In the third round, they both did rock. Then they both did scissors. Then they both did rock again. Piccolo sighed. In the last round, Vegeta did rock and Piccolo did-

"AND THE WINNER OF THE ROCK PAPER SCISSORS WORLD CHAMPIONSHIP IS… VEGETA!" the announcer yelled.

Piccolo yawned and began leaving, when Goku walked up to him. "Too bad you lost," Goku said.

"Remember something from a few years ago?" Piccolo asked.

-Flashback-

"Goku, what makes you think that I would want to do this?" Piccolo asked without looking at him.

"There's a five million dollar reward!" Goku pointed out.

"Why would I need money?"

"I won't bug you for a year-"

"Done!"

-End flashback-

"Oh, right," Goku said and was about to leave, when… "Better luck next year!"

Piccolo grabbed him and shoved his head in a pot of chili before wrapping Goku in saran wrap.

* * *

And that was a chapter about someone who isn't Vegeta! Long, wasn't it? You should tell me is this was funny or a waste of time in a review while I write the next chapter. 


	23. Channel Switching

Welcome back to W.O.L.I.A.W. (Way of Life, in a Way…)! This chapter is ready and postable, so enjoy it!

**

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Episode Twenty Three: Channel Switching**

Goku was sitting in his back yard on a lawn chair. He stood up, walked over to the barbeque and flipped the sausages when Chichi walked out.

"Goku, what are you doing?" she asked.

"Cooking sausages," Goku replied before flipping them again.

"Those sausages are made of Lego!" Chichi pointed out.

Goku shrugged. "As long as I can swallow them, I- I can't do this, I just can't!" Goku said.

The stage crew turned the cameras off and the director walked over to Goku. "What is it this time?" Cir asked.

"It's just too stupid," Goku said. "I can't play this character anymore, he's too stupid!"

Cir sighed. "Goku, are you going to let all your fans down?" he asked. "All those fans?"

"Yes!"

-Later-

Cir had managed to find a replacement for Goku. However, Goku had taken the spot they had on their show.

The Simpsons' Mr. Burns was lying on a lawn chair in the backyard. Goten put an oxygen tank to his face and Burns woke up. "What was I going to do?" he asked.

Vegeta flew down in front of Burns. "Alright, the directors told me to have a training match against you," he said. "And I was told to let you win, yet this may be difficult."

"Not to worry, I will defeat you with all my might!" Burns said before pounding Vegeta with a baseball bat, AKA, tapping him so lightly that Vegeta didn't even feel it. Vegeta sighed, which hit Burns head on causing the old man to fall on the ground, writhing in agony. Vegeta looked at Burns, the camera, then Burns again in a "Why did you bring this weakling onto the show, he's so weak that I was able to hospitalize him with a sigh! I mean come on, couldn't you have at least brought someone with a strength stronger then a cup of orange juice?" look.

-Meanwhile-

Goku was in Burns' office, with his legs on the desk. He was reading a Harry Potter book when Smithers came in. "Sir, Homer Simpson is teasing the nuclear orangutan again, what do I do?" he asked.

"Terminate him," Goku said. Smithers nodded and left.

"Ha ha, stupid orangutan can't even touch me! Naaaaa- Hi guys- Hey! A nuclear assault rifle! Can I hold it? AGH!" Homer ran away screaming.

So far in his half an episode on the Simpsons, Goku had already ordered termination on half the employees.

-In the DBZ set-

Burns came back in twelve minutes, and was ready to take on Vegeta again. "GO HOME BURNS!" Vegeta yelled as he took a pickle out of his own fridge.

"I want to fight you!" Burns said.

"GO HOME!"

"If I-"

"GO HOME!"

"-could be given-"

"GO HOME!"

"-ten minutes to-"

"GO FREAKEN HOME!"

"-battle you, I-"

Vegeta punched Burns through the roof, then Burns fell back down and landed in a crumpled pile in Vegeta's front lawn. "That's not good…" Vegeta muttered as an ambulance came to help Burns.

-Later-

Burns was brought back on the Simpsons after his two life threatening incidents, and Bender from Futurama was put on DBZ. Goku took his spot too, so Bender was pissed.

Vegeta flew down in front of Bender who glared at him. "Would you move your water sack out of the sun, I'm tanning!" Bender said.

Vegeta rolled his eyes. "The director told me to fight you and loose, but this will also be hard," Vegeta said.

"I'll beat you so hard that you'll be unrecognizable!" Bender said as he raised his fists. Vegeta threw an energy ball at Bender who dodged it. "That the best you can- what are you doing?"

Vegeta was holding a difibulater that had a lot of electricity coursing between the things. Vegeta pushed them together and they sprung apart, channeling even more electricity. Bender ran away, but Vegeta threw one which nailed Bender in the back of the head. "These people are a lot more fun then Kakarott was!" Vegeta said. However, this was the second person Vegeta had nearly killed, so Cir fired him and replaced him with Chris Griffen from Family Guy.

-In Futurama-

Goku was sleeping on the couch when Vegeta came in dressed up like Fry, who he had tied and gagged in a closet. "Goku, could you come here for a minute?" Vegeta asked. When Goku snored, Vegeta picked Goku up by his earlobe and dragged a screaming Goku away.

"So you were fired?" Goku said.

Vegeta looked at him in a funny way. "I haven't even told you anything yet!" he said. "But yes, I was fired. And how about we get our jobs back?"

"Would a nuclear rampage work?" Goku asked. "Their retirement fund happens to be a nuclear armoury."

Vegeta rolled his eyes. "That would kill them!"

"Then let's make a well thought out speech that could convince world peace if we cared, and beat up our successor," Goku added, seeing the boredom on Vegeta's face.

"Perfect."

-Later-

The one who replaced Goku, Stewie Griffen, was pacing in the backyard with Goku looking from a bush. He had a flail in his hand in case Stewie fought back. Goku jumped and hid behind the shed. He teleported to the roof where Stewie wouldn't see him. Goku leaped into the air and began a body slam as he fell. Stewie looked up in time to scream.

-Meanwhile-

Chris was sitting in Vegeta's kitchen. "Trunks told me something new!" Chris said. "It turns out my brain is made of Styrofoam!"

Vegeta jumped in through the window in a black bodysuit with his scimitar. Chris took out numb chucks and threw them out the window, which made Vegeta tilt his head. Vegeta flew into the air.

"Hold on!" Chris said. He attached some wires to himself and was lifted into the air. He got into Matrix pose when the wires snapped, causing him to fall flat on the ground.

Vegeta took the mask off and pointed the scimitar at Chris. "I want my part back!" he yelled.

"But I like this part!" Chris said. "They said that they'll pay me in sandwiches!"

"I got 23.8 million dollars a year!" Vegeta said. "But that's not the point. What the point is that I want the part in WOLIAW, so give it, or I'll beat it out of you."

"Never!" Chris said. Vegeta punched him in the shoulder. "Alright, I'll give it!"

Cir burst into the house. "Wait just a minute!" he said.

"Cir?"

"Frodo?"

Do I really need to say who said which?

"I don't look anything like Frodo!" Cir said to Chris. "And at least I'm in the right house, I burst into eight before this. I came to tell Vegeta that on his contract, he gives us every right to fire him and not let him back on, the same with Goku. So if you want to beat up anyone in order to get your jobs back, then beat up to contractors, they'll change your contract and oh crap I shouldn't have said that last part."

Vegeta grinned evilly and flew through the wall. However, right outside that wall was an ice cream truck for some reason, which went flying and hit a random citizen, exploding on impact.

Vegeta landed in the contractor building and burst both doors down. All the contractors looked at their intruder, before he called in his pirate crew and police squad who began shooting and stabbing random contractors.

"Why are we even here?" Derrek, who wasn't killing anyone, asked no one in particular.

"Because it's fun to kill!" Don said.

"And Vegeta says these people have a donut stash!" Ed said.

"Then why aren't you asking instead of killing?"

Vegeta stormed through the building, and whenever he saw a cheese sandwich, he chewed it up, spit it in a plastic bag which he left open and put down the owner's back. He slowly began to wonder why he only saw cheese sandwiches, but soon arrived at his contractor with an unowned cheese sandwich in a bag. He burst down the door, and one hit the contractor, knocking him out. Vegeta waited one and a half hours, by which time the sandwich was rotten.

The contractor woke up and Vegeta grabbed him by the collar. "Were you the one who made my contract?" Vegeta yelled, spit flying.

"Who're you?" the contractor asked.

"VEGETA!"

"Yup."

"Then change it!" Vegeta hissed and the contractor laughed.

"I'm sorry, I can't change it," he said. "It goes against our policy, which is writen on that poster on my wall: the only copy." Vegeta put him down and took out a flamethrower which he shot at the policy, also catching the curtains on fire. "I still can't change it."

Vegeta looked at the cheese sandwich and them the contractor. "Well what if I threatened to throw this at your car?" he laughed.

"I'd wash it off," the contractor said.

Vegeta thought for a moment, before saying. "What if I were to pour it in your mouth?" he laughed as well.

The contractor's face went pale and he fainted. Vegeta waited forty eight minutes before the contractor woke up and said. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'LL CHANGE IT! Want me to change Goku's as well?"

"Sure, except make it say I'm aloud to put his hand in warm water while he sleeps without being killed on the show."

"Is that why Freiza killed you?"

"That, and I lodged a penny in each of his ears and nostrils," Vegeta muttered.

* * *

And that was the latest chapter of W.O.L.I.A.W! I hope you enjoyed it, and in the mean time, review! 


	24. Position of Fear

Welcome back to W.O.L.I.A.W! Sorry about not updating recently, but I got Ocarina of Time! I've beaten it, so time to get back to mindless humour!

**

* * *

Episode Twenty Four: Position of Fear**

The day started out normal. Vegeta ate, trained, ate, trained, ate, watched AFV, trained, ate and trained at once, worked on a rubex cube, and slept. So it seems it ended normally too.

The next day was the weird one. Well, not actually, it was the same just with no AFV. Oh, and he broke the rubex cube.

"GET TO THE STORY!" Trunks, Vegeta, Bulma, a random guy named Carl, Goku, an army, and Ned all yelled.

Fine, fine, I will. Trunks went to check the mail from the mailbox. He took all seven of his, put Bulma's three to the left and surprising, found one addressed to Vegeta.

"Mom, Dad's got mail," he yelled. "I'm freaked out!" The only mail Vegeta usually got were replied from people he nearly killed, court dates or explosives. Don't ask about it, he has many enemies.

Vegeta looked up from his peanut butter sandwich. "I have mail?" He grabbed it and opened it, surprised to see a letter that _wasn't_ written in blood. "It's a normal letter!"

He unfolded it and looked in. "Apparently, I'm a dictator and control this country," he said. "It's my dictator license!"

"Does it have a name?" Trunks asked.

"Nope," Vegeta said. "Just the address: 12856385303785 Pablo Street."

"But we live at 12856385303785½!" Bulma yelled down from upstairs.

"I don't care, I'm a dictator!" Vegeta boasted. "I want a castle, a moat, a bushbaby, a bazooka named Damian and a large red cape. Oooooo, and I want two big axes!"

"Besides the bushbaby, you already have all of those! Trunks said. "The bazooka's still locked in your closet though, along with tons of other weapons."

Vegeta got everything and looked at the city from a balcony in his castle, which was right beside Capsule Corp. He looked at a random citizen named Carl. "HEY, CARL!"

"WHAT?" Carl yelled back.

"KILL YOURSELF FOR MY ENTERTAINMENT!"

"I CAN'T HEAR YOU! COME CLOSER THEN THE FORTY NINTH STORY!"

Vegeta lowered to the third story. "Kill yourself for my entertainment," Vegeta ordered.

"But I don't want to!" Carl moaned.

"I'm your dictator, I order you!" Vegeta yelled.

"What if I have nothing to kill myself with?" Carl asked.

"Then I'll give you a flesh eating eel from my movie," Vegeta said and threw Joe the eel at him. On the way there, it shot lightning at him and Carl was nearly fried to a crisp. The eel wrapped around him and started biting into his flesh and whipping his crotch with its tail. Carl managed to escape and ran away until he was in Brazil. Wow, he ran far quickly!

Vegeta gathered all the citizens of his country for the every ten minute worship. The worshipping lasted for nine minutes and forty-eight seconds. After the third time, he increased it to nine minutes and fifty-seven seconds. He gave them Tuesdays off to build a giant statue out of himself from gold and the crown from their most treasured possessions. A rebellion was started, but with his giant battleaxes Vegeta killed the leaders easily.

Vegeta walked up to Goku who was training. "Kakarott, kick yourself in the face and jump off a cliff!" Vegeta ordered. "I am your dictator, so you have to obey!"

Goku pointed at a sign between him and Vegeta which read:

**COUNTRY BORDER  
****Now entering Gokunagin**

"How'd you get your country back?" Vegeta demanded.

"I sued the country because I fell in a pothole in the wilderness and almost bruised my toe," Goku explained. "I won and half is now Gokunagin."

Vegeta grumbled and walked away, for he had no control over Goku.

"Why should I let that damn Kakarott get an advantage over me?" Vegeta muttered. Then he got an idea.

-At Vegeta's Castle-

"Attention plotting subjects!" Vegeta yelled and there was conversation. "Yes, I know you're plotting against me, but I don't care, it's futile. I'm changing the country's name to Vegetalgello and declaring war on Gokunagin!" He laughed loudly. "And you're all the soldiers," he added, seeing their plain looks. They all then gasped after a few second delay.

Vegeta walked back into his castle and sat down on the computer. He minimized online checkers and opened an internet window, searching for "How to wage war".

By the time Goku heard about the war, Vegeta was clearly in view. "And why didn't you tell me sooner?" Goku asked, teeth clenched.

"I didn't have time!" the messenger said.

"You had been standing there for three hours!"

"Well, I'll make my own army."

"You already have one."

"Really?"

"Yep, they're all right behind you."

Goku turned around and saw his army right behind him. "Before I attack, I'll try peace negotiations," Goku said. Famous last words.

-An hour later-

Goku came back full of spears and bullets. He wasn't bleeding… much…

The battle started. For a while no one died. Then someone was shot in the head. But they survived, so with all the fighting, no one was dying. Vegeta shot someone in the face with an energy blast, but they stood back up. "What the hell is going on here?" he demanded. Then someone died. But they were very far away, and not even involved in the battle. Vegeta decided to retreat and make a new strategy. He purchased some warheads and aimed at Gokunagin. Vegeta's finger hovered over the fire button, while he leaned his elbow on the joystick that aims it until he had unknowingly pointed them both right at himself. Vegeta laughed. "Bye bye Kakarott!" he said and pressed fire.

You want to know what happened? Pain for many years to come happened.

"I need a new strategy to defeat Kakarott!" Vegeta said as he was eating breakfast.

"You could just buy more warheads and put on target lock," Trunk muttered.

"Too dangerous, I'll fire at myself again," Vegeta replied.

Trunks gave up trying to explain target lock to Vegeta after he had asked, "So where do the cucumbers come in?"

Vegeta decided to do a sneak attack – himself against a country. The attack would be subtle, during dark and sneaky. Vegeta was in a loud helicopter in the middle of the day yelling insults into a megaphone and dropping bombs. Goku finally grabbed the helicopter. "Why are you trying to war against us anyway?" he asked.

"Because you suck!" he said.

"Then fight me head on!"

"Okay." Vegeta punched Goku in the face, and after a few hits from each of them, they got into a catfight in mid air. Both went home covered in bruises.

Ned appeared at Vegeta's door the next day. "I believe you got my dictator mail," he said.

"What if I do?"

"Well give it back."

"No." Ned somehow wedgied Vegeta despite his fear of the Saiyan. He locked Vegeta in a closest, went in and took his license back, leaving Vegeta in there.

* * *

And that was the latest chapter. I fused some paragraphs because I'm planning something special and this would have intruded. The next chapter will be out soon, so review! 


	25. Despida Uno: Don Dies

I've been writing a super-long chapter, but it's taking too long, so I've decided to create a little chapter to fill the needs of this story. So I introduce this chapter!**

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Episode Twenty-five: Part One: Don Dies**

It was a very normal day. Vegeta was bored, as usual, so he sat in front of the TV. After half an hour of doing nothing, he decided to check the mail.

Vegeta opened his laptop. "Let's see.. mail... mail..." he muttered under his breath, and started saying the topics out loud. "Random junk... more random junk... your subscription has expired... rent a llama... you win our prize... tower collapse kills -3 people... nuclear invasion... this sucks, what's in the junk mail?"

"Why would you check the junk mail?" Goku asked.

"That's what one of the e-mails is called, and what are you doing in my house?"

"It was a great party," Goku said, nodding his head.

"What party?" Vegeta asked suspiciously.

"Oh yeah, you were HAMMERED!" Goku replied. He shuddered. "I'll never get the picture of your naked except for a speedo on your head out of my own head..." He turned and said a clip on AFV, before laughing. "Okay, _that_ helped!"

"I don't remember any guests coming over," Vegeta said.

"How can you not? You're sitting on Krillin's head!" Vegeta stood up and Krillin took in a massive gasp of air. "Anyway, go to that rent a llama, I'm very interested."

-Outside-

Trunks was taking a walk when he saw Goku go flying out the door head first and crash into the mailbox. Trunks then took out some _actual_ mail and walked inside, sitting at the kitchen table and taking a sip of some of Vegeta's coffee. He began sorting the mail.

"Hey, we have funeral invitation!" he yelled and Vegeta and Bulma came in.

"Is it Kakarott?" Vegeta asked eagerly.

"I hope so, I hate that bastard," Goku said while standing beside them, making everyone give him weird looks.

Goku went flying head first out of the door and into the mailbox. Vegeta dusted off his hands and went to see who's funeral it was.

The four of them were standing there, as Trunks opened the letter. "Why are there four of us?" Bulma asked.

"I dunno."

"I dunno."

"I dunno." They all turned and looked at Krillin.

Goku was rubbing his head when Krillin was thrown out the front door head first, also hitting the mailbox. "Welcome to the club," Goku moaned.

-In the kitchen-

"Now that that's taken care of, we shall see who has died," Vegeta said professionally.

"What happened to your pants?"

Vegeta looked down and saw that he was only wearing boxers and a shirt. He flew up the stairs, changed with inhuman speed, which was normal for a saiyan, and ran downstairs into the kitchen in three seconds flat.

"So who died?"

"Let's see..." Trunks said, taking out the letter.

_Dear GENERIC PERSON,_

_We are sad to report to you that one of the pirates has died._

"Please be Carrod please be Carrod please be Carrod please be Carrod please be Carrod please be Carrod please be Carrod please be Carrod..." Vegeta chanted.

"Dad, Carrod isn't a pirate," Trunks said.

"Don't ruin my fantasy!" Vegeta snarled. He began picturing a world without Carrod. It was filled with a flaming city with him standing on top of a large tower laughing like a maniac. He snickered.

_The pirate Don will be having a funeral at a Lakeside Hotel in three days. Come if you want, and bring cheese! Shut up Dumpface, and look what you made me write!_

_Brian_

"NO!" Vegeta screamed. "NOT DON!"

"Do you even know which one Don is?" Trunks asked.

"Is he the slug?"

The next day, Vegeta was bored so decided to go and find out how Don died. He flew all the way to the Bahamas and found his pirate crew. They seemed amazingly bored, with Scumpy playing with a ball in a cup and Brian moving a flashlight's light around a wall, which Dumpface was trying to catch.

"Hi!" he said happily.

"Hi," everyone except Dumpface replied dully ("Why can't I catch it?" asked Dumpface).

"So how's everyone doing?" Vegeta asked.

"Bored," everyone but Dumpface, who was till trying to catch the light, which had been moved to the roof, answered.

"Man, Don must've really been the life around here," Vegeta said.

"Who?" Riff asked.

-Six hours later-

"Okay, I'll ask this one last time," Vegeta said. "How did Don die?"

"And I'll answer for the last time," Scumpy said. "I told you the first time, you just fell asleep so I told you again but you were battling Dumpface over who would catch the light so I gave up and you started asking so I told you again but your brain couldn't comprehend that knowledge."

Vegeta blinked. "How did Don die?"

-Flashback-

Don was devouring about 10 000 marshmallows a minute, and Scumpy, Chip and Greybeard were watching. "Man, he sure eats a lot of marshmallows," Chip said.

"Arg, he be living off them," Greybeard replied.

"Okay, seriously, stop talking like that!" Scumpy said threateningly.

"I wonder what would happen if we started roasting the marshmallows before he eats them," Chip said.

"I dunno, but we'll need to get to them before Don," Greybeard said.

They all snuck down to Don, and as Greybeard's hands were about to grab the marshmallows, Chip sneezed. "A-" Scumpy knocked him out with a punch to the gut. He fell over, fell on a table which smashed to pieces, one of the pieces going flying into orbit before coming down and making a crater the size of Ontario. Don belched, scratching his ass. Greybeard's eye twitched before he grabbed the marshmallow bag and the two of them ran, leaving Chip.

-Reality-

"He found us roasting the marshmallows over a fire," Scumpy said. "He thought we were burning them alive and died of a heart attack. That answer your question?"

Vegeta sighed. "What a sad way to die... So how did Don die?"

-However many days later-

Everyone stood at the funeral parlor wearing black, until Dumpface walked in wearing a clown costume. "Time for everyone to laugh!" he said, spraying silly string into Vegeta's ear. "Wait, this isn't clown school-" He was interrupted by Vegeta blasting him out the window with his Galic Gun. The saiyan laughed evilly.

"What do you know, I _did_ laugh."

The priest stepped up beside Don's coffin and was about to began talking.

"Why's a catholic priest at Don's funeral? He was Jewish," Lance muttered to Orange, who shrugged.

"A few of Don's close friends will say some eulogies for him." Scumpy was first up.

"Don was a good man," Scumpy said. "He showed no mercy and was never hesitant to take hostages. And that's what makes him better then this idiot." He pointed at Dumpface.

Riff was next. "Don was great at video games, especially Mario Party 1, 2, 3, 4, 6, and above. He was meh at 5. His favourite video game was Halo 1. That's all I really know, aside from the fact that he was striaght. Or was he?" he added in a sly tone but was yanked away by a giant cane.

Dumpface clapped happily and ran up to coffin. "Hi Don! How're you doing?"

"He's dead," Greybeard reminded him.

"Oh ya," Dumpface said, then turned back to the coffin. "So what's it like being dead?"

"SAY YOUR DAMN EULOGY!" everyone yelled.

"We are gathered here today for the gathering of Don in eternal slumber. Speak now... or... forever..."

"Somebody shut him up..." Scumpy muttered and Vegeta shot a thin finger blast which knocked Dumpface behind the coffin.

Brian walked up next. "Don was a great man, and was also second in command. He did a great job, and I taught him many things which he claimed were trivial and worthless, but I beg to differ. Few can eat cheese without opening their mouth, but I can. Few can launch a bottle rocket to the moon, but I can. And few can be candidates for the upcoming election, but I am. Vote Bob Rian!"

Cricket.

Cricket.

Cricket.

Cricket.

The hook that had pulled Riff off the stage grabbed Brian and yanked him too.

Ol' Stabby ran up. "I like stabbing," he said phychoticly. "I wish that I had gotten to stab Don... again... we had fun... he laughed... or maybe swore... At least I only got him in the arm..."

The hook brought him off too. People began to wonder what was beyond the door it came from. Sam went in and never came out... or you could agree with the witnesses who say he came out with photos. But back to the demented eulogies.

Chip cleared his throat. "My last memories were trying to steal his marshmallows to eat them ourselves and see what he would do. Wow, those were unexpected results... Anyway, we got along good, even though I was the one who suggested the idea that killed him..."

The hook came out, and Chip screamed, trying to run. He was caught and began to be pulled. He clawed at the floor, screaming not to be taken as he was brought to his uncertain fate...

Orange, afraid of what had happened to his brother, had to be dragged up and glued to the spot. "Um... hi... Uh... nice day, isn't it?" Then he remembered he was at a funeral. The doorknob of the room began turning. "Don was a good man, who possessed many good qualities, and was good at his job, and good at making friends, and... Did I say good enough?" The cane reached out and grabbed him, ripping up some of the floorboards in the process.

Lance got ready for his eulogy. "I never knew Don too well, so I don't even know why I'm up here."

The cane came out to grab him, but Lance pulled a metre long cane from no where and blocked a blow. The two wooden objects began exchanging blows, and Lance backflipped onto the coffin and began blocking the cane's every blow. He ducked out of the way and leapt into the air, doing multiple somersaults and downcutting through the cane, snapping in half. The cane fell to the ground and the door closed, Lance doing a victory pose. the crowd was silent, and someone coughed.

Lance sighed and walked to his seat while Vegeta walked beside the coffin, kicking the cane's fragments away. "I was Don's captain, so I knew the most about him. I may have only known him for about five months, but he was like a father to me, teaching me the way of hte pirate."

"You're older then him!" Trunk yelled. Vegeta ignored him.

"I knew Don better then anyone-"

"You didn't even know who Don was a few days ago!" Trunks yelled.

"I had forgotten."

"You _still_ don't know who Don is!"

"Yes I do, he's the snake!" Everyone was silent.

Dumpface popped up from behind the coffin. "Hi everyo-" Vegeta punched his face without looking, knocking him out.

"Well, now for someone who knows Don better then anyone who ever met him, Cir!"

Hi, and it's great to be here! I'm lucky I'm here, my lugage got misplaced and the only way I could get it back was with an umbrella.

No body talked.

Tough crowd, tough crowd... Oh wait, this is a funeral isn't it? I thought funeral was bar in a different language.

"You suck!" someone yelled. There was a flash of light, and all that was ledt of him was a hat and ashes... strange... he wasn't wearing a hat...

Seriously though, Don was a good guy. He lived life to the full extent, which to him was eating the most marshmallows physically possible. He was six away from a world record. Too bad he couldn't live life to the full... because of my decision. Sayonera!

Everyone blinked. Vegeta stood up. "Well, I guess this funeral's over. But I wonder what happened to those pulled by the hook?"

Suddenly the door swung open, a bright light coming out of it as well as steam, making everyone shield their eyes. A figure stepped from the doorway.

_2 Be Continued...

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_

And that's this chapter. Don't ask why I'm splitting it, I don't know. However, I think it has something to do with that I haven't updated in a long time. I hope you enjoyed! 


	26. Despida Dos: Locked Up

Yes, I know I haven't updated in a while, but it's summer, you travel around a lot. Anywho, here's part 2 of that chapter.

* * *

**Part 2: Locked Up **

Some fat guy walked out of the door.

"Well that was anticlimactic," Trunks said.

Suddenly the fat guy took out a whip and started whipping everyone close to him.

"Where's my comrades go?" Scumpy asked.

-In the room-

All of the pirates who were taken were tied up to a log which was hanging over a pit of flaming manure, slowly lowering. "We need to escape!" Chip said.

Dumpface walked into the room. "This place is big," he said, not paying attention to anything else.

"Dumpface!" Brian yelled. "Get your ass over here and press the button that empties the manure!"

Dumpface looked at him, and then the control panel. "Ooo! Pretty colour buttons!" He pressed one, and it made a low sound. He pressed another and it made a different one. He kept pressing buttons to make a music. "I can make the Halo theme!" he declared, and he was right.

All the former hostages slowly trudged over to him, covered in flaming manure. They growled.

-Back to our "heros" coughdipshitscough-

The building was currently being evacuated as the fat guy attacked people. Some person in the back row of seats stood up with a rocket launcher, screaming like a maniac as he fired. Fat man ate it, and added him to his sack. He grabbed Krillin and put him in his sack. Where did he was a big black bag from, I'll never guess…

Goku tried to kick the fat man in the head, but the fat man grabbed him and threw the saiyan in his sack. Goku teleported out, severely pissed. He took out a really big sword, bigger then three of his bodies, which made Vegeta's eye twitch. Goku charged yelling like a madman and swung the sword, which was grabbed and put in the sack. Vegeta's arm twitched. Goku shot a Kamehameha, which was… do I need to say it? Sigh… It was put in the sack. Vegeta's neck twitched.

Goku trudged over to Vegeta. "Okay, I'm out of ideas," he said.

Vegeta threw a final flash at the fat man, which was put in the sack. "WHAT THE HELL IS IN THAT THING?" He threw a grenade, and heard screaming from inside before an explosion.

"A few corpses and a survivor or two," Goku answered.

"Stop being a smart ass and do something while I run the other direction," Vegeta said before running out the door and locking it from the outside, only to turn around and see Goku. "What the- but how- you should- huh?"

"For the record, what I did didn't defy any laws of physics," Goku said. Before Vegeta could ask the door was broken and the fat guy charged at them, yelling like a banshee. The two began running and went into an elevator. Vegeta pressed the G button and it closed, as they slowly descended. All that could be heard was the elevator music.

Goku began humming a tune. Vegeta slowly turned his head to Goku. "Is that the Pirates of the Caribbean tune?"

"Yeah, let's go with that."

"Wait, this has to be passed the ground floor by now. Why the hell hasn't the elevator stopped?"

"Oh right, I was supposed to tell you this," Goku said. "The country's new official second language is Italian, so the G now means giù, which is Italian for down!"

"WHY THE **FUCK **WOULD THEY _DO_ THAT?"

The elevator stopped and opened. "I'm going back up," Vegeta said, but the second before he pressed the button the power went out. "The fat asshole cut the power! DAMN YOU!"

He heard a thud.

"You can stay here screaming at the guy who's coming to kill us, but I'm running!" Goku said.

"Why don't we go Super?" Vegeta asked.

"He's find a way to put it in that sack."

"Good point, let's go."

They ran down the hall until Goku saw a door that they could bolt closed. The two went into the storage room and Goku bolted it shut. They heard thudding, and something pounding on the door. They then heard gunshots, a rocket, a freaking Megalodon shark and finally what sounded like an ant eater screaming. Finally they heard the sound of someone walking away.

"Okay, let's get out," Vegeta said. He grabbed the door handle and tried to turn it, but it wouldn't open. "Hey Kakarooooooot?" he asked innocently.

"Y-Yes Vegeta?" he asked, scared by the tone.

"Is this door locked from the outside?"

"Probably…"

"WHY?"

"Because they built it like that?" Goku questioned, his voice raising octaves with every word.

"Whatever," Vegeta said. "Let's blast this thing down."

"NO!" Goku screamed. "It'll collapse on us!"

Vegeta looked at him. "Let me get this straight. You can survive a planetary explosion, yet you can't survive a building collapsing on you."

"Hey! That planet explosion was through plothole!" Goku defended himself with.

"Whatever, let's teleport out of here!" Vegeta told him, grabbing onto his shoulder. Goku giggled. "WHAT?"

"You're short!"

"No, you're the size of a giant!" Vegeta snapped.

Goku tried to teleport. "Um, it isn't working!" he said.

"Why the hell not!" Vegeta screamed.

Goku shrugged. "Well, let's wait until someone comes to help us."

-Later-

"I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE! TIME TO OBLITERATE THIS PLACE WHETHER WE DIE OR NOT!" Goku screamed, before Vegeta slapped him.

"GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF! It's only been 6 minutes!" Vegeta told him.

Goku blinked. "Could have sworn it was 7, 7 and a half even…"

"No, now let's sit around in different positions every hour and only say things at those key points!"

-1 hour later-

Vegeta was sitting against the wall. "I'm bored."

"So?" Goku, who was on a barrel, said.

-another hour later-

"How long does it take for someone to get down here?" Vegeta, who was lying on his back, asked.

"Yup," Goku answered.

"Yup? Yup to what!" Vegeta snapped.

-59 minutes later-

"I-"

"HASN'T BEEN AN HOUR!" Vegeta screamed.

-Another minute later-

"Soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo tired…" Goku moaned.

"Go tell someone who gives a damn…"

-1 hour later, equaling 4 hours, 6 minutes now-

"Ugh… Kakarott?" Vegeta moaned.

"Yeah?"

"I think I had an epiphany…"

"Oh... how was it?"

"Neh, I don't see what's so special…"

They sat there for a bit longer. After a few seconds a tube went under the door and began sending purple gas into the room.

"He's trying to gas us out!" Vegeta exclaimed.

Goku cracked his joints. "Well we'll have to beat him at his own game!" He turned to Vegeta. "I haven't farted in 23 years, so it's all been saved up for this…"

Vegeta's eyes widened. "Um, I'd rather have the purple stuff…"

Goku didn't listen, and farted at the door. It was blown down and the fat guy was sent spiraling through a wall, the whole building cracking and all life within 27 kilometres fell on the ground gasping for air.

Goku dusted off his hands and turned to Vegeta, only to see him lying on the floor, gasping for anything survivable, eyes bulging, hand grasping the air. "Need… BLLLAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… … … … …"

Goku carried the convulsing Vegeta up the stairs and into the fresh air, and he fell on his knees screaming, "YES! I CAN _**BREATHE!**_"

Suddenly the fat man burst from the ground, roaring into the air. He pulled his leg out of the dirt… and broke a water line which blasted him over and he hit his head off the soft ground, knocking him out.

They both stood there. "That was… interesting," Goku said.

"Worded like it is…" Vegeta agreed. "Hey, how come you held in a fart for _23 _years?"

"Well, Chichi said she wanted a family environment and said that she hated when I smell, so I decided to make a family environment _and _stop smelling! Genius, huh?" Goku asked, smiling.

Vegeta punched him in the face and began to walk home. The fat guy charged at him and Vegeta punched him too. "Shut it."

The fat guy looked at Goku. "Is he always like that?" he asked.

"Pretty much."

-The day after the funeral-

Trunks was reading the mail. "I got a letter from Scumpy, he said that they put marshmallows in Don's coffin and he came to life, ate them and died again," Trunks said. "As long as they give him a marshmallow every twenty minutes he'll stay alive."

"Good for him," Vegeta said as he watched AFV. He still couldn't remember nor care which one Don was. "I just want to know where the hell that fat guy came from."

The fat guy came through their door but was smacked in the face by a boulder and fell over.

"Seventh time today," Bulma said. "Vegeta, reset the trap."

"You reset the trap!"

"Don't make me bring out bazooka!"

"Fine, I'll reset the damn trap… bitch…"

"I heard that!"

"Why do you two have to fight in front of me?" Trunks asked.

"Because we want you to grow up twisted and wrong," Vegeta told him. He threw the fat guy in the garbage and reset the trap.


	27. Krillin's Mob

**Twenty Seven: Krillin's Mob **

It was an average day. Average things were happening, there were the average amount of deaths by Vegeta, average getting pissed off at Goku by Piccolo and… everything else was average.

However, one thing was not average, no matter how contradictory that is. Krillin was walking down the street when an eagle picked him up by the head and flew away with him.

Krillin was thrown in a nest where he saw Goku sitting there. "They got you too?" he asked.

Krillin looked around. "Why don't we just fly?"

"Goku shivered. "I wouldn't do that," he said. "I tried earlier, and, well, it wasn't pretty.""

"Why are you narrating yourself?" Krillin asked.

"Goku thinks that it will help the suspense."

"Now you're talking in third person! What happened to narrating?"

"Goku thinks that you should shut the hell up you asshole," Goku growled out.

"Look, let's just jump over the side and hope we survive," Krillin suggested. Goku stared. "What?"

"You first." He pushed Krillin over the side of the vertical mountain. Krillin screamed as he plummeted toward the ground, landing on the ground. He broke through the ground and landed on a pile bonsai tree boxes.

"How did you discover our secret hideout?" someone with a British accent in the shadows asked.

"I fell…" Krillin moaned.

"Well, welcome to our hideout. We are the British Mafia, I am Caleb, the British leader," the voice said, stepping out of the shadows. "There are four other members: Andrew, Carson, Matt and the guy with the Romanian accent. No idea why he's in here, but he is."

"Why is the British mafia in-"

Goku landed on top of him. "I didn't hear any screaming so I assumed you survived the fall. Hey, a Romanian guy!"

"In order to let you two live, you must become members," Matt explained. "And to do that, you must invent a witty limerick! Baldy guy first."

Krillin thought. "Um…

"There once was a man from Mantucket,

"His name was Paul Plangergoduckit.

"He wanted some bread,

"But ended up dead,

"Because he was hit by a bucket."

They all stared at him. Krillin nearly panicked when, suddenly, they all started clapping. "Magnificent!" Caleb said.

"I feel so happy, it's like my mother didn't die when I stabbed her in the face!" Matt exclaimed.

It was Goku's turn. "I had a pig named Cat.

"He turned out really fat.

"He tried to eat a shoe,

"And then couldn't go poo,

"But then he saw a rat."

"Okay, both of you are now members of the British Mafia," Caleb said, handing them each a can of soup. "Those are homemade, I made them myself!" Goku noticed Carson signifying drinking the soup and then dying.

"We will now tell you about our illegal British operations," Caleb said. "We ship illegal bonsai trees around. They are special, being carnivorous and eating people." He took someone out of a closet and threw them in one of the tiny boxes. The person screamed bloody murder as the plant ate him. "See?"

"Why was he literally screaming 'Bloody murder'?" Goku questioned.

"Because he's a retard, now we have a client to deliver to!" Caleb told them. "Load them into the trucks while I explain who we're delivering to."

Goku and the Romanian guy both picked up a cart of 20 boxes. "So what's your name?" Goku asked.

"I have no name, nor do I know the names of anyone else," the Romanian guy said. "My parents were idiots, not naming anyone except my older brother Sves. I was 'that guy who talks Romanian.'"

"But didn't you all talk Romanian?" Goku asked.

"Yes, that was the main flaw. My parents were stupid. My father was an escaped mental patient named Dacoviz Pattaresk. He tried to throw a Super Nintendo at the Queen once, and claimed to craft the potted fern on the preceding Labour Day. My mother, Claire Lopexyal, was dropped on her head as a newborn at least three times per day. She liked to wear pumpkins on her head and could cartwheel across the Great Wall of China. I was conceived on an outing to an apple orchard which my family was instantaneously banned from ever approaching again. On my third birthday my father, whilst in another of his drunken rages, killed John Belushi with a garden rake, yet it was covered up with drug overindulge. I learned how to play the electric clavichord while reading 20000 Leagues under the Sea. On my 8th birthday law enforcement arrested my mother for draping the pope's residence with live chickens. I met Caleb and Matt a few years back while working on my family's DVD orchard. It wasn't working out too well so I joined the English Mafia," the Romanian guy explained.

Goku was silent. "Interesting," was all he could say.

"Romanian guy, stop distracting him, I just explained what we were doing!" Caleb yelled from outside. "Matt, explain to Goku what our plan is."

"Gotcha," Matt said. "We deliver these to our guy, and cut up anyone in our way, and then anyone not in our way!"

"Matt's a known killer who likes cutting things to pieces with a switchblade, rather strange personally," Caleb explained. "I'll explain further. I know someone named Jim who we have to deliver these to so he can sell them, with us getting 120 percent of the profit. I tricked him into it. However, the Mongolian Mafia wants us taken out, so will probably come after us."

"What the hell is with all of the weird Mafias?" Krillin asked.

"I don't know, it just happened," the leader explained. "Now you two will be the attackers."

"Why us?" Krillin asked.

"Because we don't care if you die," Caleb explained.

"Don't you feel so loved?" Krillin whispered to Goku. They all got in the large truck and began driving. "Do I really need to sit in the kiddy seat?" Krillin asked.

"My wife wants me to keep it in the truck for my kid, and I loose things easily so we need someone to sit on it, and you're a midget," Carson said.

"I'M NOT HAVING FUN ON THE ROOF!" Goku yelled from the top of the truck.

The Romanian guy of them hit a broom on the roof. "Keep it down the guy on the roof!"

"So how far away are we?" Krillin asked Caleb.

"About half an hour, then- It's the Mongolians!" He pointed to the road coming up on the left to reveal a pickup truck with several angry people in the back, waving around both blunt and extremely sharp weapons.

The English drove away while the Mongolians pursued. "Goku, Krillin, take care of them!"

"Gotcha!" Goku said, turning to Matt. "It'll be okay, we're gonna make it-"

"Not emotionally, and not us!"

"Okay!" Goku threw his shoe at a random bystander.

"Krillin, take care of them!"

"Can do boss!" Krillin said as he flew out the window and started bombarding the enemy with energy balls. That is, until he was bombarded back. Krillin saw a bunch of black hair that looked like a carrot. "VEGETA?"

"Hey baldy, I see you and shoe thrower are in the English Mafia," Vegeta said, flying up to meet him.

"Say, Vegeta, buddy, think you could let us go?" Krillin asked nervously.

"No," Vegeta responded, taking out a bazooka and pointing it at their truck while looking into the scope.

"Why the hell do you need a bazooka?" Krillin demanded.

"I don't, it's just awesome."

"True…"

Vegeta fired the bazooka, then the truck turned and he hit the same bystander that Goku hit. "Why is it always the bystanders who are hurt!" the person screamed as he was sent flying.

Vegeta thought for a moment. "Hey Kakarott, how would you like to be a bystander?" Vegeta yelled.

"Would I!"

Goku stepped onto the sidewalk and began happily walking down the street. An out of control jeep strayed onto the sidewalk and before it hit Goku, smashed into a lamppost. A mailbox bomb exploded as Goku walked by, but someone was between them. An airplane fell from the sky and landed two inches away from him, then blew up with very sharp fragments missing the Saiyan.

"Dammit! Oh well, no need to cry over spilt brake fluid."

"Don't you mean milk?" Krillin asked.

"Each has their own preference," Vegeta snapped back. He fired the bazooka at Goku but it deflected off a streetlight and hit the English Mafia's delivery truck, exploding and sending it spiraling through the air. Matt, Carson and Andrew jumped out before it hit the ground and exploded.

"HOLY CRAP!" the three screamed before all was silent. "Who's up for English muffins?"

The Romanian man walked out from a convenient store. "What'd I miss?"

Krillin walked over to the wreckage, ignoring the moaning bonsai trees and seeing Caleb in the wreckage, kneeing close to him.

"Krillin," he said. "I think I'm dying."

"Is it because of the explosion and wreckage?" Krillin asked.

"No… you just kneeled on me and snapped my ribcage, impaling my heart."

"Oh… sorry 'bout that," Krillin said. "Anything I can do?"

"I name you my successor, so you are in charge of the English Mafia… I feel so much pain…"

"Is it because of the ribs?" Krillin asked.

"No… the bonsai trees are eating my legs…" Krillin looked only to see that. "Go and lead the Mafia like I couldn't… meaning make pizza Wednesday…" He then died and the trees started eating the rest of the corpse.

Krillin walked out of the wreckage and saw the rest of the group all eating muffins. "Caleb is dead."

"Oh…"

"That's bad…"

"Pity…"

"The one who's the leader is gone now…"

"Whatever shall we do?"

They didn't sound like they cared too much. "He named me the leader."

"WHAT?"

"HUH?"

"COME AGAIN?"

"The one who's bald is in charge now?"

"Great job Krillin! Can I be second in command?"

"So what was his last word?" Matt finally asked.

"Wednesday."

They were all silent. All of the group went to the ruins of the delivery truck and saw the bonsai trees running away with Caleb's corpse eaten. "Well there goes the delivery," Krillin said.

The Mongolian Mafia drove up beside them. "We killed your leader bitches!" one said, who happened to be Hue the leader..

"Technically the short one killed him by accident," another pointed out. Hue glared at him.

"Score 1 us, 0 you! HA!"

"Actually they killed three of our members and blew up a helicopter," the same person pointed out. Hue took out a gun and shot him in the head.

"Well we challenge you to a mob war!" Krillin said.

"We're already in one retard!" Vegeta said, smacking him over the head.

"Fine, then we challenge you to a final showdown on Wednesday!" Krillin said. "Meet beside the clock tower at 1:28 pm!"

"That's a bad time, can we do 3:41?" Hue asked.

"Fine…"

The Mongolian Mafia drove away. Carson smacked Krillin. "IDIOT! They'll kick our asses!"

"Why, we can beat them, can't we?"

"NO!" all of the longer lasting members said at once.

"We have no damaging weapons! They have rocket launchers and we have toothbrushes!"

"I have a knife!" Matt pointed out.

"That won't help one bit!" Andrew continued. "We need weapons, and only one person can provide them!"

"Solid Snake?" Goku asked.

"No, idiot, Link!"

"Neither of them are real," Krillin said.

"Then who the hell came to my birthday last year?" Andrew demanded.

"Me in a costume," the Romanian guy admitted.

-On Wednesday-

"This is the worst pizza Wednesday ever," Andrew said. They were beside the clock tower with whatever they could find. Matt had his switchblade, Andrew had a tree branch, Carson had a chainwhip, the Romanian guy was wielding a samurai sword, Krillin had a broken baseball bat and Goku had Chropi GP10 submachine gun, and by HAD I mean he lost it on a rollercoaster and now has a bunch of N64 game cartridges, ready to hit people with them.

"They are freaking impossible to break," Goku had commented.

When 3:41 came around a pickup truck was seen on the horizon. But since the horizon was very far away, they waited a few minutes only to see that it wasn't even them.

"What are you people staring at?" Vegeta asked from behind them.

"How long have you been there?" Krillin asked.

"Longer then you, you people walked passed us to get where you're standing!" Vegeta responded. "Now let's get to the ass kicking!"

"English Mafia, and Romanian guy," he added, nodding toward him, "get ready to f-ACK!" Vegeta had put him in a headlock and was choking the short man. Suddenly a Banjo Kazooie cartridge came flying and knocked him in the head.

Andrew hit Hue with the tree branch but it broke, so he was punched in the face. Matt stabbed a guy in the chest only to reveal he had a bulletproof vest and getting punched in the face. The Romanian guy's sword was very good in the intimidation factor, but he couldn't use it so he just hacked at the truck.

"Let's kick their asses!" Krillin yelled.

-2 minutes later-

They all sat inside a dumpster, putting salve on their wounds. "That went HORRIBLY," Goku muttered.

"At least I kicked Vegeta in the crotch," Carson muttered.

"He blocked you then broke your arm," Goku told him.

"I don't care," Carson said.

"Well, that's the end of this adventure," Goku said to them all.

"Why's that?" Krillin asked.

"I just got this feeling… A strange feeling…"


	28. Birth Certificate

Now that school's out, I actually have time to update some of my stories! Yay!

* * *

Vegeta was sitting on his couch watching AFV like every other day when Goku burst into his house. "Hey Vegeta, guess what?" 

"You got a new key to my front door?" Vegeta asked, grinding his teeth together.

"I got that thing weeks ago, but it isn't why I'm here," Goku explained. "I found a contest that's in town, if I win I could get a million dollars!"

Vegeta stared blankly. "And you need me why?"

"I need a partner. You could meet Tom Bergeron..."

"I'LL DO IT!" Vegeta screamed, jumping up and grabbing a chef hat and spatula. "What do I have to cook?"

"Um, I don't think I mentioned anything about cooking, Vegeta..." Goku muttered, then saw Vegeta's extremely disappointed face.

"It's never about cooking..." he muttered, tears beginning to show before he noticed Goku was still there. He straightened up, threw his stuff in the oven and glared at Goku. "Never speak of this or I shall inflict upon you something so horrible that it makes professional wrestlers break into tears of pain, Kakarott." Goku was still confused on what had just happened.

"Were you crying?"

Goku was thrown out the door face first, smashing his face into the mailbox. Vegeta slammed the door shut and went back to his TV.

"Who the hell threw clothing in the oven?" Bulma screamed. "The kitchen's on fire!"

"I'll do it later," Vegeta said. When he heard a shotgun cock, he ran into the gravity chamber, padlocking it shut and turning the gravity to 7 000 000, which effectively destroyed the entire area. Goku stared at the mayhem caused in the single minute he was outside. Shrugging, he flew home.

-The next day-

Vegeta slowly walked into Goku's home. "Shouldn't we be signing up for that contest?" he asked.

"What contest?"

"The contest that you mentioning somehow led to a series of events which ended up with me mistakingly in the cancer ward!" Vegeta snapped. "But that is a story for another day, so do you remember yet?"

Goku seemed to think for a moment. "No idea."

Vegeta pulled at his hair. "Okay, you burst into my home, bugged me, I threw you out the door, got in an explosion... GET IT YET?"

"Still no idea."

"Okay, let me rephrase that. If you don't understand I will blast a Galic Gun up your ass."

"Oh I understood the whole time, just wanted to see how long it would take before you snap," Goku explained with a smile. Vegeta pulled out a chunk of his rival's hair before throwing Goku the sign up sheet which he filled out. "What's my blood type?"

"AB," Goten said as he walked by.

"Cool, what's Piccolo's?" Goku asked. Vegeta stared at him.

"R," Goten responded and Vegeta smacked his forehead.

"Can we go now, I still have no idea what this contest is about!" the Saiyan Prince growled. He picked Goku up by the hair and began to fly.

"I OW OW could just OW teleport us OW there!"

"I like this way better," Vegeta muttered under his breath. They went to a town they had never heard of named Town of Infinite Pain before getting in a LONG lineup. They stood there for a few hours in silence before the fat person in front of them farted. Vegeta sniffed it and threw up a bit in his mouth, holding his breath. After 20 minute of not breathing his face was blue and Goku was perfectly fine, singing some random song about hotdogs. Vegeta smacked him over the head before some random clown stole his pants and ran down the street. Vegeta didn't chase them, having a fear of clowns and decided to stand there, holding his breath, pantless, beside a really annoying guy. 'Could be worse,' he thought before it started raining. 'I like rain.' The rain turned into hail chunks the size of footballs. They began smashing down on Vegeta's head but not harming Goku. "How the hell are you not getting hurt?!" he demanded before throwing up from the horrible smell.

"My hair is as thick as a steel mill!" Goku claimed, knocking on the hair which made a thunking noise.

"Why have we been standing in the same spot for 3 hours?" Vegeta demanded before they had to back up.

"Someone had a baby," the person behind them said.

-At the front-

The guy at the desk was holding up an optical illusion. "I still don't see the cup, I see two people about to kiss," he said.

"Well you see, if you look between them it forms the shape of a fancy cup," Dumpface said.

-Back with our heroes-

"I have an idea," Goku said. "We'll be able to get to the front of the line in no time!"

"And this stupid idea is..."

"Find the Dragonballs!" Goku exclaimed. Vegeta stared at him. "What? We haven't done it in forever, isn't that right Elvis?" The turtle on his shoulder nodded in agreement.

"How are you keeping that massive creature on your shoulder?" Vegeta asked. Elvis' shell was 3 feet in diameter.

"That's besides the point, I shall hunt on my own!" Goku claimed heroically.

-17 hours later-

Goku flew down to Vegeta who sat in a field. He was both hurt and bleeding. "I fought 6 new enemies, went through a meat grinder, closed to portal to another dimension, and sold 7 millions potatoes while at gunpoint, but I finally found them!"

"Those are gum-balls!"

"Your point being..."

Vegeta pointed a bazooka at him. "Just one shot... Just one shot... Just one shot and I'm free... Just one shot..."

"KIDDING! I have them here!" Goku said as he pulled out 6 orbs, one covered in a pulsating green goop.

"There's only 6 of those," Vegeta told him blankly.

"I'm lazy, he doesn't need legs anyway," Goku said before summoning Shenron right there.

"You have 2 wishes this- Where the hell are my legs?" the dragon questioned, looking around.

"I was lazy," Goku said and Shenron nodded in understanding.

"Ah, yes. I remember one time 7 years ago when a friend of mine called me on the phone asking for 20 bucks so that he wouldn't get killed by the English Mafia, I didn't feel like it because at the moment I was blind drunk and thought it was World War 2 then suddenly Kremlings were falling from the sky with a big fat-"

"As much as I hate to interrupt this interesting tale, would you grant our wish?" Vegeta asked. "Make us at the front of the line we're trying to get through."

"Let me get this straight. You went to the ends of the Earth, put yourself in dangerous life threatening situations just to get to the front of a line for a contest that you don't even know the point of?" Shenron asked dully.

"Less yap more grant."

-At the front of the line-

"Okay, illusion number 43: Are the lines straight or crooked?" Dumpface asked, holding up the picture.

"Crooked! No, straight! Wait, wait, wait, crooked!" the desk man yelled out.

Vegeta punched Dumpface, throwing him to Russia. "We want to sign up for this whatever it is contest. If you deny it after all that Kakarott went through, then I would do something horrible to you! I hate him though, so feel free to do anything," the Saiyan Prince said.

"Okay, hand in your sign up forms, birth certificate, and credit card number." Vegeta obliged then turned to Goku who looked nervous.

"Um, I don't have a birth certificate," Goku admitted.

"Maybe you should have wished for that second instead of a muffin!" Vegeta screamed. "A muffin which you dropped on the floor!"

"I wish I was you, you can't drop your carrot on the floor... because it's your hair!"

"That was a horrible, horrible insult."

"As much as I hate to interrupt such an interesting conversation," the desk man said, "in order to enter the contest of-"

"I THINK I'M ADOPTED!" Goku cried out, running into a corner in to cry.

"We're outside, how the hell are you in that corner?" Vegeta questioned. "And you're not adopted, I remember every single second of my life, from the satisfying moment I was born to 3 minutes in the future. I remember seeing you."

"Satisfying?" the desk man asked.

"My mother was a bitch," Vegeta explained. "But I know that you aren't adopted."

"YES I AM!" Goku said. "I don't have a certificate, and I don't know what my mom looked like, and-"

"We get the picture," Vegeta groaned. "If you want we could go back in time and get your mother's spleen for a DNA test."

"Time travel could affect the future."

"She doesn't need a spleen to give birth! It'll be unimportant!"

Goku stared at him. "Now who's being the idiot?" Vegeta punched him in the face.

"That's what I saw 3 minutes into the future," Vegeta growled. "Anyway, I can prove you aren't adopted."

"How?" Goku asked before Vegeta began beating on him. Hard. "AH! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?"

"Killing you."

"WHY?"

"You can go talk to your parents and get them to tell you that you aren't adopted," Vegeta explained. "You'll be satisfied and dead, it's a win for both of us."

"Can't I just teleport?" Goku asked.

"Hell no, this is taking out some major stress that I usually take out on Krillin!" Vegeta paused. "Wait a minute... I haven't hurt Krillin today!" He ran off and Goku and the desk man just stared where he went.

"I am so confused right now," the desk man said.

Goku teleported to a place he had never been to before. It had a blue sky and green grass. There was a large building beside him. Goku wondered where he was.

"Kakarott, get off of me." He was also standing on a strange man with abnormal spiky hair. It must be an alien.

"It's alright, I come in peace," he said to the alien. "Do not be afraid."

"If you don't leave in six seconds I will blow your face in," the alien said. "1..."

"No need to get violent!"

"2...3...4..."

"I sense impending doom..."

"5..."

"How come you only count when I'm not talking?"

"6!"

Goku screamed and teleported to Vegeta. "Vegeta, guess what just happened!" he said.

"What?" Vegeta asked, annoyed.

"I ran into a spiky haired alien who tried to kill me, and called me Kakarott, and was as pissed at me as you are!" Goku exclaimed and Vegeta rolled his eyes.

"His name is Hugo, we play poker together," Vegeta said. "Now leave me alone, go talk to your father or something."

"Okay!" Goku said, teleporting beside the dead Bardock. "Hi dad!"

Bardock stared at him. "Who the hell are you?" he asked.

"I'm Goku, your adopted son!" Goku replied happily. Bardock blinked, staring at him.

"We Saiyans don't adopt, it is a strange thing to us to raise someone else's child. We see them as-"

"Weaklings?" Goku asked.

"No, free food!" Bardock chimed in, smiling widely. "Anyway, you aren't adopted, trust me, ask your mom if you want. But how come you never visited before if you could teleport?"

Goku glanced around nervously. "Um, well... you see... Bye dad!" He teleported away. Bardock punched Raditz in the face.

"This is your fault!" he said.

Raditz was lying on the ground grasping his face. "WHAT THE HELL DID I DO?" he screamed in pain.

-In Vegeta's Backyard-

Goku teleported right in the middle of the yard on top of a table. "Hi Vegeta, hi Hugo!"

"Get off the poker table," both said simultaneously.

Goku quickly moved so they wouldn't hurt him. "Anyway, I stole my birth certificate from dad when he wasn't looking, so I can enter the contest as your partner Vegeta!"

"Too late, I got bored and joined with Hugo," Vegeta explained, neither looking up. Hugo gave a little wave. "So now we're partners in the contest of-"

Bulma ran into the backyard. "Underwear Aliens are attacking Earth, it looks really stupid," she said. "I'll be watching with popcorn on the roof, in case you need me." Goku looked at the two playing poker.

"Shouldn't we stop them?" he asked.

"Didn't you hear her? This'll be hilarious, why should we?"


	29. Vegeta's Master Plan

I was discussing the plotline of my sister's story with her, and through a series of coincidences we got to the topic of Russia where I made a foolproof plan that would give me the ability to take over the world altogether. I thought that it was a good story idea, and decided to make a chapter out of it. My sister still thinks I've gone crazy, but I'm sure I'm not…

* * *

**Vegeta's Master Plan**

Trunks woke up late one night to the sound of maniacal laughter. Knowing who it was, he went downstairs to see Vegeta, eating chocolate, while laughing and looking at a piece of paper with a few lines on it.

"What is it this time?"

"Well, I've derived a plan that will successfully make me the supreme tyrant of all humanity," Vegeta explained. Trunk stared at him for a few minutes.

"Right. And what makes this plan any different then your other ones?"

"Because this one will actually work!" Vegeta explained. Trunks looked at the sheet.

– enter UN

– make no one take you seriously, boast about taking over Russia eventually

– Steal all of USA nukes and nuke Russia, then nuke everywhere else

– Become great tyrant of world

He blinked and then looked at Vegeta. "How exactly do you plan on doing this crap?"

Vegeta snickered. "It's simple, really. To enter the UN I'll use Vegetalgello and be the representative. I will continuously threaten the Russian one in personal ways, and then I will steal all of the USA's nukes and nuke Russia."

"What do you have against Russia?" Trunks asked.

"Whatever makes you think I have something against them?" Vegeta asked. Trunk stared at him. "Fine, I walked outside with no pants on while there can we move on?"

Once Trunks stopped laughing, he started thinking. "That's actually kind of smart," he muttered. "MOM, I'M SCARED!"

"Does he have a dangerous weapon?" Bulma asked from upstairs.

"No, he has a moderately intelligent plan!"

"Quick, into the safe room!" The two ran into the safe room and locked it shut with turrets popping up outside to guard.

"Now you're just being mean," Vegeta muttered.

-2 days later-

Vegeta walked right into the UN. They all stared at him. "Hello!"

"Why are you here again?" the Armenian person asked dully.

"I have my own country, and demand a seat in the UN!"

"How would you have a country if all known land has been claimed?" Armenian guy asked.

"I noticed after using Google Earth, and decided to steal part of another planet! Jupiter had more then enough already…" They all stared at him. "So I am the leader of Vegetalgello and want a seat!"

"We're representatives, not leaders," the Canadian representative said. "If would be pretty retarded to gather all of the leaders in a single building."

Vegeta dialed a number on his cell phone. "Bulma? You're the leader of Vegetalgello now, I'm representative." He hung up. "Ta-da!"

"Just give the guy the seat so we can start!" Mario, the Japanese representative, yelled across the room. Vegeta sat down.

"So let's talk about the war-"

"Shut up Russia nobody likes you." They all stared at him.

"I wasn't talking!" Russian guy yelled.

"Vegeta, shut up or we'll vote you out," Armenian guy said. "And if you threaten to declare war _again_, we'll bomb you."

"All in favour of voting Armenia out of the UN?" Vegeta asked, raising his hand. Everyone else stared at him until a shoe hit his face. "Fine, I'll shut up… Lousy Russians…"

"Seriously, what is your problem?" Russian guy asked angrily. "Паршивый трахают голову…"

Vegeta decided to shut up for now otherwise his plan wouldn't go too far. He'd insult Russia later. Vegeta found the conversations all boring so he ordered a helicopter strike on the hotdog stand beside the building. Now everyone was pissed at him.

"I tell you, it was BORING IN HERE!" Vegeta defended.

"So you did that? Do you know how much damage was done?!"

"20… 30… 48 bucks?"

Armenian guy was silent. "The fact that it was 48 dollars worth of damage is beside the point, it's the fact that- Where the HELL did you get a helicopter strike?"

"The hotdog stand which I bombed! Isn't it ironic?"

"We are giving you 200 hours of free pay-per-view in your hotel room. Go and use it to your every need."

"Sweet!" Vegeta ran out of the room. "Wait, I don't have a hotel room!"

-That night-

Vegeta was dressed in all black as he snuck around. He was heading toward the USA nuclear weaponry storage when he remembered that they were in Montreal right now. "Son of a bitch!"

-2 months later-

They were finally in the USA. Vegeta was at the entrance to the nuclear storage facility. After incapacitating the guards, Vegeta looked at the terminal which controlled the door. He turned it on.

**DO YOU WISH TO ENTER?**

Vegeta typed yes.

**ARE YOU AUTHORIZED?**

He also typed yes.

**THANK YOU.**

The door opened and Vegeta entered.

-The next day-

The UN was all at a meeting when Vegeta walked in, big smile on his face. "Shut up Russia. Anywho, I am now the tyrant on the world."

"Vegeta, did you have another crazy dream? Because I thought we gave you pills to stop that," Armenian guy said.

"I stopped taking those a while ago. But I am now in possession of every nuke the USA possesses!" Vegeta declared.

"I doubt you do, no one has ever broken into our nuclear vault," the USA representative said. "Except that one time that Brazilian got curious it has remained safe, as no one has guessed the password!"

"There was no password, I typed yes."

"Dammit, I told Frank to give it a password!"

"No you didn't!" a voice echoed from outside.

"Anyway, I have some demands," Vegeta said before unrolling a shot list. "These are the directions to the building that is full of my demands. The ones I can remember is to name me King Lieutenant Major General Court Marshall Great Master of all that Exists in the Universe and is an Awesome Monarch Religious Leader Lord Red Ostrich Tamer Prince Vegeta of the Planet Named after his Birth Name with his wife Bulma as his Queen and Trunks can go to Hell because no one Likes him. It is also our anthem. Being Russian is illegal. The flag must be changed to this." Vegeta held up a sheet of paper that looked like it was drawn by a drunk preschooler. It had a stick Vegeta killing a stick person with what looked like some sort of blob that was meant to be a chainsaw with a horribly coloured blue background.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" someone asked.

"Demand two: Thursdays are egg night and everyone must have eggs for dinner or face execution. Demand three: I want a really big castle and a bunch of guns!"

"Weren't you the guy on TV with the dozens of weapons?" the German representative asked. Vegeta thought for a moment.

"Oh yeah, that was me! Well, I'm off to get the rest of my demands, I'll be on my country if you need me," he said and walked out of the room.

"Well isn't this perfect," Egyptian guy said.

"Я хочу убить его…"

"Speak English Russian guy!"

"I want to kill him, happy now you shit?" Russian guy asked. Egyptian guy glared.

"I can cut you. I can cut you with a knife. While you sleep."

"Enough, this isn't getting us anywhere!" Armenian guy said. "We need to find a way to solve this problem!"

"Why don't we nuke Vegetalgello?" Canadian guy asked. They all stared at him with wide eyes. "What? I really want to press the button!"

Vegeta was sitting in the barren wasteland known as Vegetalgello. It has 16 citizens, all of whom were kidnapped and thrown on the island by the person it was named after: Vegetalgel.

"Vegetalgel, get over here!" Vegeta said. An 8 foot tall weight lifter in a white toga with blue stripes and no hair yet a large black mustache walked over to him.

"YA?" he exclaimed.

"We need more people, go take some Europians," Vegeta said.

"YA!" Vegetalgel exclaimed, obviously satisfied with this order. "ALI-OOP!" He leapt across the ocean.

"That man can do anything," Vegeta praised. He leaned back in his recliner, watching the sky. That got boring quickly so he took out Halo and started blowing people's heads off. Trunks walked over, having continued looking at the sky, to warn Vegeta.

"Dad, someone's nuking us."

"I'll sign it later," Vegeta growled. "BOOM! Owned, bitch!"

"Shut up!" a 10 year old voice said from Vegeta's headset. "Aren't you a little old to be playing this?"

"Isn't your mom a little fat to be a hooker?" Vegeta snapped, making the kid start crying.

"Dad, we're going to be nuked in a minute!"

"Trunks, shut the hell up, I'm working! Aw, you hacker, I just shot you with a tank!"

"Mom, dad's ignoring our upcoming demise!" Trunk yelled upstairs.

"I'll take care of it," Bulma said, clearing her throat. "VEGETALGEL! WE NEED HELP!"

He leaped through the air as fast as lightning, grabbing the falling nuke and swallowing it whole. It detonated a 40 megaton explosion inside his stomach, leaving the man unharmed. He changed his direction by jumping off a water particle in the air and soared through the air, landing on top of the jet which dropped the bomb and crushing it with a single palm thrust. "YA!" he exclaimed in happiness before kicking off the falling wreckage to go back to his old job.

"That guy's like some kind of superhero," Bulma praised. Trunk was still completely confused about WTF was going on. He eventually decided not to think about it and went to play Halo.

-At the UN-

"That failed," Armenian guy said. "Anyone have another plan?"

"We could drop more then one nuke," Canadian guy said.

"What is it with you and nuking people?"

"Enough, this is-a going no where!" Mario said, and they all looked at him. "Let's send-a the Super Smash Brothers after him!"

"Dude, they aren't real," Romanian guy said. "That was me in a costume!"

They all stared at him. "Who the hell are you?" the Romanian representative asked. "And how do people keep on getting in here?!"

"Back on-a track," Mario said. "I wasn't real either, but Nintendo made a machine that-a brings fake characters to-a life! I don't think he can take 35 people!"

"39 if you-"

"Fuck-a off."

-20 minutes later-

"He took-a 35 people…" Mario repeated, clearly not believing this. Luigi nodded.

"So… so much pain… pain… Kirby in a blender… He threw me in a dumpster and pushed it into the ocean… We lost Falco man, we lost Falco…" Mario smacked him across the face. "Thanks, I needed that."

"We need someone close to Vegeta who we can get to betray him, possibly steal back my nukes," American guy said. "Any suggestions?"

"Well, recently I've seen on TV this bald Austrian weight lifter who is with him a lot, maybe we could use him," Armenian guy said. They all stared for a moment.

"Okay, I suppose that works, but where will we find him?"

"ALI-OOP!" A bald, Austrian weight lifter ran into room. "I GOKUNAG! I twin brother of Vegetalgel, and talk more often. I can imitate him for money and get nukes!" Gokunag exclaimed.

"How much money?" Armenian guy asked.

"20000 quadrillion times 64 yen!" Gokunag exclaimed.

"Are you serious?"

"YA!"

"Mario, how much is that?"

"Do I-a look Japanese to you?" Armenian guy didn't even want to say anything to that. So they were forced to pay Gokunag that much money in order for this to work…

-In Vegetalgello-

"This place is lovely, isn't it?"

"Vegeta, it's a storm scarred uninhabitable wasteland," Bulma observed.

"Exactly, don't you love it?" Gokunag landed beside Vegeta, having leaped across the ocean. "Ah, Vegetalgel, did you finish?"

"YA!"

"Okay. Um, where are the people?" Gokunag looked confused. "You know, the Europeans you were supposed to kidnap? Remember?"

"YA, YA!" Gokunag yelled. "ALI-OOP!"

Vegeta narrowed his eyes. 'Something's not right, I can just tell it…' he thought. 'I better find the problem out fast, or something terrible could happen!'

"Dad, the house is on fire!"

Vegeta sighed. "Well, I feel as though _two _things are wrong, one is the house, happy now Trunks?" he growled.

"Why would I be happy?! My room just exploded! Why the hell is explosive material in my room?!" Trunks screamed.

Vegeta realized what was wrong and dashed over to the nuclear weapon storage, bursting in only to see Gokunag about to make off with the nukes. "Ah-ha! You thought you could outsmart me didn't you?" Vegeta accused. "Well no, you made two fatal errors, one was that you said YA twice in a row, Vegetalgel never does that! The other was that you yelled, you didn't exclaim! You're caught, bitch!"

"Frankly, I don't give a damn," Gokunag said dully. "I have my money and I stole your fridge, I'm done."

"That may be, but we'll see who's the better of us in the end!" Vegeta got in a fighting pose.

"You aren't even listening to me are you?"

"Your verbal attacks do nothing to my fighting spirit, I can crush you nonetheless!"

"Um, please don't attack me…"

"Enough chit-chat, we fight now!"

"Son of a bi-"

-2 days later-

"Well, it'll soon be time for my first TV appearance," he said to his family. "Neither of you will be there obviously, and I will announce some of my laws to the world which they must obey or I will nuke them."

"What country will this be in?" Trunks asked. "In fact, what country did we live in before this incident?"

"That's irrelevant, but it will be here, on this floating chunk of Jupiter," Vegeta explained. "That reminds me, did anyone find out how long this thing will float for?" They both shook their heads. "Oh well, let's get to the airport where the TV crew will be flying in from!"

Bulma rolled her eyes. "We don't have an airport," she said.

"Are you shitting me?! I built a fucking Blockbuster but no airport!" A plane appeared in the distance. Vegeta flew into the air and using his strength tore the plane out of the sky, scaring everyone aboard shitless before bringing it to the ground, placing it. "Who needs an airport when I'm here?"

Trunks peeked inside the airplane. "I don't suppose you're a hospital too?"

"I don't see this day getting better," Vegeta moaned. After treating the TV crew (Vegeta was kicking each in the head, yelling, "Suck it up you wimp!") they set up for his big announcement. This was it, Vegeta would soon have a replacement for the planet he was meant to rule as a child: Saturn. The camera turned on, live.

"Hello citizens of Earth." The TV screens were covered with translations for every single language, Spanish, French, Pig-Latin, Ancient Greece… "I am Vegeta, soon to be ruler of Earth."

"Hey, didn't you make me leader?" Bulma asked off-screen. "You're just the representative if I remember correctly."

Vegeta glared, but continued as though that never happened. "I own the nukes of the USA, and can nuke any country I wish. As such, I declare myself the King Lieutenant Major General Court Marshall Great Master of all that Exists in the Universe and is an Awesome Monarch Religious Leader Lord Red Ostrich Tamer Prince Vegeta of the Planet Named after his Birth Name with his wife Bulma as his Queen and Trunks can go to Hell because no one Likes him." It had taken time to memorize that.

"I have some new laws to go into effect immediately. Tuesdays are barn day, in which everyone must build their own barn, by themselves, by the end of the day. The Xbox 360 is now named the Pillowcase, PS3 is the HighJump, and the Wii is the 83902. Korean's feces are now considered a delicacy."

-In Korea-

"What the hell?! That's it, all forces please perform a bombing run on Vegetalgello to get this retard to shut up."

-Vegetalgel-

The weight lifter was dashing through Europe, each step bringing him to a different country, picking up whoever was standing beside him at the time. If he collided with an object it was incinerated by the sheer heat coming off him from the speed. Once he had 48 people in a hand, he struck a pose, and screamed, "ALI-OOP!" Vegetalgel leaped into the air to return to Vegetalgello. However, he lost 3 people who fell into the ocean. Not one for leaving someone behind, Vegetalgel dove downwards in an attempt to save them.

-Vegetalgello-

"To build on the previous law, turkeys are our planetary symbol and the species are considered second in command, just behind me. All of our money is to go to creating a machine that translates their talk into English," Vegeta continued, now at his 53rd law. "On May 31st, everyone must buy a present for me. It isn't my birthday, but I want stuff to- What the hell are those jets doing?"

Said jets were flying over Vegetalgello, particularly Vegeta, dropping rather powerful bombs. 20 minutes later, the land was covered in craters and fires from the explosions.

"Okay, who the hell bombed us and when can I kick their ass?" Vegeta growled.

"Dad, Korea's calling us," Trunks said holding the phone. "They say: 'Ha ha ha, eat that bitches' and one just faxed a picture of the middle finger." He held up a sheet of paper.

Vegeta lifted a nuke onto his shoulders. "I've always wanted to see one of these in action," he said, patting the 40 megaton bomb. Vegeta then threw it through the sky. The weapon of mass destruction soared out of the planet's orbit and crashed into the moon which spun out of the Earth's gravity and crashed into Mars, obliterating it. "Plan B…"

Vegeta picked up a nuke and flew into the air, flying over Korea. "No, you eat this bitch!" He dropped the nuke and quickly went back to his chunk of Jupiter, while the nuke crashed to the ground, making a dent. Everyone stared at the bomb that just sat there.

"Where's the boom?" Vegeta asked, sad.

"Do you even know how to arm a nuke?" Bulma asked.

"What, do I attach an arm to it?"

"You're an idiot." Unknown to them, the fact that Vegeta lacks knowledge of using the bomb went internationally, even to the UN.

"Gentlemen," Armenian guy began, "I believe we know what comes next."

-A month later-

Vegeta sat in a trench in Vegetalgello, before poking his head up then ducking as a sniper shot went there. "Okay," he said. "I'm a single person fighting against 2 thirds of the world's army, how have I lasted a month? WHERE THE HELL IS VEGETALGEL?"

In the ocean, the man was continuing to attempt to rescue the 3 he dropped. No one is **ever **left behind.

Vegeta threw a Final Flash behind him, obliterating 300 people. "Right, that's how." Vegeta looked to his left and right to see which way he should go, but saw a cardboard box to his left. "What's with the box?" he muttered, before shrugging and going passed it. Little did he know, it was a grave mistake…

The moment he went passed it, the box flipped open to reveal Solid Snake who put him in a headlock and threw Vegeta out of the trenches where he saw the Super Smash Bros. "The box is amazing," Snake proclaimed. "If you believe, it will allow you to do anything."

"Round 2!" Luigi growled, all of them surrounding the downed Vegeta.

"Um, any chance of letting me stand up?" Vegeta asked.

"Fuck that, you're getting your ass kicked," Ganondorf said, cracking his knuckles.

Vegeta ran through Charizard's legs, making his way to the nuclear storage warehouse which no one had tried to infiltrate yet. Bullets, rockets and fireballs were going at him, only half of them connecting. Vegeta made it inside though, only to trip over a wire. A grenade fell from the roof, landing directly in front of him and beside the nukes. "Son of a bitch…"

The Saiyan was sitting in front of his TV, watching AFV. "I'm surprised," Trunks said. "I expected you to be brooding over your country being completely obliterated and loosing your position of ruler of the world."

"I'll just do it again tomorrow."

* * *

Wow, that was definitely the longest chapter in the story so far. Well, it has been 3 months, but this should make up for it.


	30. Alien Invasion

_Published March 17, 2009_

If anyone cares, I redid chapters 1 and 2, they're now a lot better in my opinion. I plan to redo all the ones that are short like those, and will upload a new chapter with this note when I do.

**

* * *

Alien Invasion**

"It is time to begin the assault."

"We have waited many, many years for this, but the time is now at hand."

"Yes, the time is now at- Woah woah woah woah woah. You took my part."

"What? We don't have parts! We say whatever comes to mind!"

"But _I've _said that for the last six invasions, you can't start saying it now! That's like theft, except actually punishable!"

"Both of you shut up! The invasion has yet to begin and we're bickering like offspring."

"Who says 'yet to begin' these days? Honestly?"

"He's right, that was pretty laughable."

"ALL THREE OF YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP! We need to start this already!"

"Hey, no yelling, it makes me sad…"

"Oh for crying out loud… Press the invasion button so that we can start!"

"Not until you apologize."

"Apolo- Can someone else that isn't him do it?"

"Nope, he's the only one authorized."

"Well I'm not apologizing."

"This may take a while…"

-On Earth-

Winter had just officially started. That makes it December 21st. There is no debate to that. Due to their warm climate, there was no snow where Vegeta and Goku were, instead it was dry rain coming from the sky.

"Vegeta, this dry rain kind of burns," Goku said. "Can we train inside?"

"It increases pain tolerance Kakarott, don't complain," Vegeta snapped as he threw a punch.

"It's eating my skin, I'm going inside now." Goku walked off toward the entrance of Vegeta's large home.

"FINE, be a wimp! I'll train on my own out here, like a real ma- Ow, that last drop got my eye! WAIT FOR ME WIMP!" The prince of Saiyans sprinted inside and found Goku sprawled across his couch watching old home movies. "How did you get those?"

"Midget," Goku commented before laughing at and recording something stupid Vegeta had done.

"Midget? Midget… MIDGET! **TRUNKS!**"

Piccolo walked in the door and approached Goku. "You called my cell phone, so this better be something very important," he said in monotone.

"Look at this thing 'Geta did in the past!"

"You called me and I came from multiple countries away in eleven seconds to see- HOLY CRAP THAT'S AWESOME! I AM NEVER LETTING HIM LIVE THIS DOWN!" He began laughing his ass off, and Goku slowly slid away due to uncontainable fear. Piccolo sat on the couch beside the terrified man when he stopped. "Ahem, right. That never happened, okay?" Goku nodded furiously. "Good."

Vegeta came back into the room. "When did cucumber get here?"

"He didn't laugh!" Goku screamed. Vegeta stared at them and then walked out of the room. "I told you I'd never tell," Goku said proudly as he nudged Piccolo.

"Right… Well, I have more important things to do than-"

"Like what? You do nothing all day, live a li-"

"No, don't you remember the last time you told me to 'live a little'?"

-261 days ago-

"Live a little!"

Suddenly a 9.8 earthquake struck, at the same time as a volcano concealed in the backyard suddenly erupted. A meteor the size of Brazil from deep space impacted in the ocean right beside them, creating a massive tsunami and a cloud that blocked out the sun. A new disease broke out and infected half the population in seconds, turning them into mindless monsters. The Sun went supernova, and was on a course to destroy the earth. All countries armed with nuclear devices had accidental launches of every missile simultaneously, and a tanker full of toxic waste exploded in the Antarctic region, the explosion killing many endangered species. All electronics went berserk, attacking their human oppressors.

-Present time-

"They got all that fixed in a few weeks, no biggie!"

"Every world ending situation happened when you said that," Piccolo reported. "It was a hellish few weeks."

"You know what they say, 'lightning doesn't strike the same place twice'. So just live a little!"

People outside began screaming as alien ships descended into the atmosphere and started decimating the population. The ships were too strong for any type of gun or explosion to breach, and had the strength to wipe out cities.

"Now that I think about it, last time there was no superior alien race invading Earth… Well, that one's out of the way now!" Goku told him cheerily.

Vegeta stormed into the room. "Did you say the L.A.L. words?" he asked not so nicely.

The three flew above the invasion. "Okay, so this is a stereotypical superior alien race invasion," Vegeta stated. "That means that these ships are invincible aside from a single, hard-to-find-but-once-it's-found-it's-easy-to-exploit, crippling flaw. This will usually destroy them instantly."

"I haven't seen any of those movies, any recommended spots?" Piccolo asked.

"A hole that weapons come out of," Goku said. "Remember, the aliens will not know of this extreme flaw, so don't alert them to the fact that we're looking for it or found it. They'll try to cover it but fail, and just stall us temporarily."

A ship flew passed them and stopped, facing a building. "Look for where it fires from!" Vegeta ordered, and they watched. A beam of energy appeared out of mid air in front of the ship and fired, destroying the building. "Oh. That could be a problem. Kakarott, what are you doing?!"

Goku grabbed the ship and threw it at the ground, denting the ground. He landed on it and began jumping, making it sink deeper every impact. "I'm sending it into the lava under the surface!"

"You're retarded."

"Well you're short!"

"No, you're as TALL AS A TREE!" He turned to Piccolo. "Let's leave him to that, I'll find someone else to be a temporary filler."

The duo flew to Yamcha's house, blew the wall open, and grabbed the man. "What are you two doing?! Put me down!"

"Aliens are invading, Kakarott is doing his thing, and we need you to fill the third spot since you're as smart as he is," Vegeta explained.

"Ha ha, you're a funny man. I might as well come along, I want credit for something and haven't done anything notable lately," Yamcha said, agreeing to come. The trio flew back to the main area of destruction. "So have we figured out anything?"

"They're a stereotypical superior alien race, so-"

"One crippling flaw?"

"Am I the only one here who doesn't watch those crappy alien invasion movies?" Piccolo asked. Vegeta and Yamcha stared at him, eyes widened in shock. "Yeah, I swear sometimes. Now back on track."

"Well," Yamcha began, trying to bring normality to the group, "I watch them all the time, so if we destroy the mother ship then all of the others will also be destroyed."

Vegeta smacked himself in the forehead. "Of course, how did I not see it before? KAKAROTT!"

"WHAT?" Goku responded from about a kilometre underground.

"WE'RE GOING INTO SPACE TO DESTROY THE MOTHER SHIP!"

"OKAY, I'LL WORK THINGS OUT OVER HERE!"

"YOU DO THAT."

Vegeta, Piccolo, and Yamcha all flew straight upwards. "I can't breathe in space by the way," Yamcha said.

"Don't worry, the aliens will probably also breathe oxygen. It's stereotypical after all," Vegeta said, and Yamcha sighed in relief.

Gohan flew up beside them. "Can I come too?"

"No, the trio is complete," Vegeta snapped.

"He dislikes change," Piccolo said. "You can come."

-Somewhere-

"The operation is going successfully."

"Yes, victory is at hand."

"I'm mad that he physically forced me to press the button!"

"Quit being a baby. It was necessary for this conquest. Besides, we all know that you're a pussy."

"Oooooooo, it's ON!"

"No it isn't."

"Yes sir…"

-Atmosphere-

"How high exactly is space?" Yamcha asked.

"Still another twenty minutes of flying," Vegeta said.

"This is a lot less exciting than I thought it would be," Gohan commented. They had just been flying up for the past half hour.

-Earth-

Goku wiped the sweat off of his brow, and looked up. His hole was so deep that he could barely see the light. "You're going all the way buddy," he said to the ship before continuing to stop it.

"There's only one person who can stop this invasion!" Hercule exclaimed from the surface. "And that is… David Hasslehoff!"

David Hasslehoff suddenly appeared from the ground beside Hercule. "Let's do this!" He took out a cell phone.

"Why is David Hasslehoff the only one that can save us?" a bystander asked.

"He's the only one in the world that knows Vegetalgel's phone number," a second bystander said. When David Hasslehoff put away his cell phone, Vegetalgel appeared on the horizon, running toward them. He arrived in a second. The man jumped into the air and punched a ship, completely obliterating it from existence.

"Remember people," Hercule said, "I called David Hasslehoff in the first place!"

Alien ships were destroyed one after the other when people learned that their weakness was being punched. They could survive a 20 kiloton bomb, but not the impact of a fist. People began to go up in hot air balloons and jump out to punch the ships, killing themselves.

-Atmosphere-

"ARE WE IN SPACE YET?!"

"No," Vegeta told Gohan, even though Yamcha asked the question. "Wait for it, wait for it… now we are!" Most people noticed that they could no longer breathe. "Now head into the mother ship!"

The mother ship was near the other side of the planet. It took an hour to reach it this time, so _now _they could board it. The mother ship looked like a just blimp with boosters on the sides and back. Piccolo shot a hole in the side so that they could enter. "I told you there would be oxygen inside."

An alien that was made entirely of tentacles with eyes on the ends… moved… over to them. "Remember, despite being able to build better things than us and being better at combat, they're actually not very smart when it comes to conflict!" Yamcha reminded before the alien hit him far down the hall.

Piccolo shot his special beam cannon but the alien slide around it and wrapped itself around the Namekian. "I'll help!" Gohan kicked the alien in one of its eyes, and because it was Piccolo's shin he also kicked Piccolo.

"Stupid! Use these!" Vegeta handed him a steel bat and they began to pound on the alien, and, through this, Piccolo. The alien made no attempt to fight back, for it did not feel pain through this.

"So that got us no where," Gohan announced as the two stared at the blue alien enveloped green alien. "What now?"

"Let's poke the eyes." The duo started poking the eyes, aggravating the creature. Yamcha had wandered off to be productive and find a way to destroy the ship. He saw two more aliens coming his way and grabbed a random cardboard box to hide in.

"Put it back," warned Solid Snake, pointing a gun at him. Yamcha put the box back on him and looked for another way to hide. He was panicking when a voice whispered, "Jump on the ceiling and snap their necks when they aren't looking."

Yamcha flew to the ceiling and stayed there as the aliens passed beneath him. "I swear, Ik-Jod gets more conceited about his raise every day," one said.

"Ik-Jod is an asshole, ignore-GLEK!" Yamcha had snapped his neck. The other alien turned and was about to attack him when Snake snapped his neck.

"Thanks Snake!"

"Remember, you didn't see anyone." He ran off.

Vegeta pulled one of the tentacles, stretching it to its max and let go, watching it slingshot into place again. "These things are fun to play with!" Gohan commented. Piccolo clearly did not agree. He began to struggle against the clearly more powerful alien until he managed to get a hand out. He stretched his limbs and body to give the alien more trouble. Gohan and Vegeta began to play tennis with one of the alien's eyes while this happened.

Yamcha saw three more aliens in a type of break room, all discussing random crap. They appeared to die instantly when their necks were snapped, so he instinctively pushed a vending machine on top of one of them and snapped the other two's necks with each hand. Little did he know, one of the first alien's tentacles was not crushed. This changed absolutely nothing as it was dead anyway, but he still didn't know that, making my statement valid.

He found the cockpit after some searching. "Time to blow this thing up."

"You'll have an easy time doing that."

He turned around. "Who said that?"

"We are the four leaders of this race, thanks to our thinking, taking over any planet we want has been hard."

"That doesn't sounds complementing…"

"We have observed your race since our creation, 28 years ago. Our languages are identical aside from the reversal of the definitions of things like 'hard' and 'easy', or 'good' and 'bad'. Don't mock us."

Four tentacled aliens appeared on a higher balcony. "And now you die!" The five stood there, doing nothing. "Why isn't he dying?"

"That only works when we have a sniper you idiot…"

"STOP HURTING MY FEELINGS!" It began to cry orange ooze from each eye.

Vegeta, Piccolo, and Gohan entered the room. "How did you find this place as well?" one of the aliens demanded.

"Yamcha stepped in something on his way here and we followed the smell," Gohan explained, so Yamcha checked the bottom of his shoe and gagged. "And now we fight!"

"You'd think that," one of the aliens said. "But we're really good at fighting. So instead, we'll surrender this time."

"That was easy."

"But this ship will explode in 3 minutes!" It pressed a button. "To the escape pod!"

"We never made that you fucking idiot," another alien said. "We agreed to consult the others before pressing the button!"

"But you guys wouldn't have let me press it in the end…"

Vegeta, Piccolo, Gohan, and Yamcha began to evacuate. "Which way did we come?" Gohan asked.

"Follow the trail of dead aliens!" Yamcha told them, and so they did. It seemed to lead them the right way, until they ran into Snake killing another alien. "Wrong trail…"

"Snake, this place is going to explode!" Gohan warned. "Do you know the way out?"

"Just blow a hole in the wall." He ran off somewhere.

"Any idea why no one thought of that before?"

"I blame Yamcha," Vegeta said. He charged up a full strength Final Flash and with one shot obliterated half of the ship.

"_Detonation in eleven seconds_," a voice announced.

"Yamcha, stay back and do an area sweep to make sure we aren't being followed," Vegeta ordered. Yamcha gave him a dirty look and ran toward the exit. They made it out just after the ship exploded, resulting in a lot of pain.

The ships all began to flee Earth due to loss of the mother ship, just like a standard invasion. There were only three left anyway, and two fled. 'Where was the last?' you may ask…

-Underground-

Goku was on sandwich break as he sat on top of the ship. He had to be near the magma at this point, he was like fourteen kilometres deep already! The only thing left to do would be to keep stomping.

-Earth-

"Well that was pretty easy," Vegeta commented as Trunk treated his burns. "…Aside from the searing pain of course."

"I'm not following you anymore," Yamcha groaned as Piccolo treated him. He had just torn off his skin and regenerated.

Bulma was treated Gohan. "Same here, and if I do, I'm going to use violence as a first option…"

"I wonder what happened to Snake," Yamcha muttered.

"He probably got out somehow," Vegeta told him.

-Space-

"We managed to escape, barely."

"I am glad our backup pod was still functional. We shall return."

"Yes, we sh- Okay, you did that thing again."

"What thing?! We've never retreated, so you can't say you said that before!"

"I called dibs on the first day."

"The first day was 28 years ago. I can't remember little details that far back!"

"Must you two always bicker? It angers me when that happens."

"Why do you always talk all professional and fancy? It makes it hard to take you seriously."

"Don't start this again you three!"

On the outside of their escape ship was Solid Snake, latched onto a handle.


	31. The Talk

_Published October 20, 2009_

**The Talk**

Goku pulled up a chair and sat down. He sighed, shaking his head. "When a mommy and a daddy love-"

Vegeta smacked him. "Not that kind of talk you idiot! No wonder I'm more popular than you."

"You're very conceited."

"And proud of it. Now listen, this story has had a very good run in these many, many years, but to put things simply it's old and smelly at this point, and the writer's style and sense of humour has evolved from that tasteless bullshit that made up the first half of the story," Vegeta explained. "While the later 2007 and the 2008 chapters were fucking awesome, the first part of the story may turn some people off. Hell, if I read that I'd probably sodomize myself with a rusty chainsaw-" He paused for a moment, thinking about what he was saying. "Okay so that's way over the top, but you get the picture."

Goku looked over the cue cards. "You took my part."

"Shut the hell up. The point is that it's time to bring this story out back, smiling and promising it some delicious candy before tying it up and blowing its face off with a bazooka," Vegeta said, grinning slightly.

"Did you have something weird in your cereal this morning?" Goku asked.

"I think so. Namekian, take over before I say something else."

Piccolo stared blankly at Vegeta. "He doesn't want to be here," Goku explained. "He refuses to talk with any of us until he's unshackled."

Vegeta rolled his eyes and blew the shackles off. "I'll say forty words," Piccolo said to the shorter alien. "This story is ending and another similar story will be made. It will feature random adventures too with almost no OCs, it'll use canon characters. It'll be better in every way and you should go to it when it's up." Piccolo turned and walked out the door, the remains of the chains around his ankle clanking on the cement behind him.

"What he said," Vegeta continued. "This ship is going to sink so get in the lifeboat, go to shore, and board the improved one when it launches in the next week or two."

"Exactly. Where did the boat come from?" Vegeta slowly turned to face Goku. "Kidding, kidding. You take things too seriously. Sum things up Bulma."

"Story ending, better version coming out within two weeks," Bulma summarized. "Why were four of us here to say that?" The two Saiyans shrugged.

"So what's the new one called?" Goku asked.

"Um… Way… The Way of the Warriors," Bulma answered, not telling them that she had just thought that up on the spot. "Yeah… 'Way' having to do with… their way of life, like the title of this one! And… and we're all warriors at some point in this thing, so that one is self explanatory. Hey, I could do this crap too."

"Yes. We're droning at this point, so let's wrap this up," Vegeta said. "I have things to kill, places to be."

"See you guys later!" Goku yelled, waving. "We'll be back after a short break! Much shorter than the last one. The seven month one…"

"Don't talk about how long the breaks are!" Vegeta hissed. "That was actually because of doubt about getting new readers with the current first half of the story how it is, creating stalling and focus on other projects."

"Excuses, excuses," Bulma sighed. "Just say something finalizing and let's go."

"Fine," Vegeta said. "I will return, do not doubt that. Never be alone."


End file.
